Right I need to know how you would cope with someone that is shy?

I mean say you have one person that is quite upfront, outspoken, blurts things out without thinking about it, flirts without realising but also likes to push that flirting as far a they can get away with (i mean without getting dirty) and then you have someone that is shy, finds it hard to express themselves and struggle to find the words and their shyness holds them back from doing and saying things that they want to????

I mean does the non shy person push the other through their shyness and to overcome it or hold back way more than they would normally do and allow them to overcome it themselves?

Would this always be a factor or is it quite a minor thing that can be changed?

I think alot of it is maybe to do with confidence which people can build on and time helps with that, but do you have to allow them to find their confidence or assist with making them feel more confident?

I think that you should just do whatever it takes to make them feel at ease. No two people are the same, even if both of them are shy. Some might respond better to a bit of pushing, some just need to get there naturally.

I think just testingthe water, seeing what works is the best option. Probably best off leaving them to it at first, because if that fails the pushing can always be employed. Where as if you push a person that's better left to themselves, it's most likely to have a detrimental effect.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

This is a very weird subject. My brain hurts. LOL

I won't read it again, but, as I like to comment...

Strictly from my point of view... For me life's too short to try and change someone's ways or wait for them to wake up... It's also a question of how much a person matters to you and if they truly are shy or have other problems (I for one don't talk much right now because I can't be bothered and, unfortunately, that applies in all cases, unless subjects pleasant to me are approached).

I used to be quite shy and still am prudish... But when it comes to a man, par example, I don't think I'd hunt someone who's shy... The opposite of shy ain't that great either... Best is, as we know, the forward prince (although he's not always easy to find ).

However I must admit that I sometimes like being taken out of my shell when feeling shy, other times though I don't... Maybe it's a question of person after all...

One thing I recently learnt again is that whatever you do, you should always listen to your heart (even if sometimes it will make the wrong choices, by whole it knows much more than you do).

End of (sorry for answering, had nothing to say, but, as usual, I couldn't help it)

Oh and let's not forget that it's a jungle out there and in some situations if you don't ask you won't receive... Only the strong survive, as un-metrosexual and cynical that seems.

As a spokesman for the Shy Party, I think you should accept the shy person as they are.
You seem to think there is something wrong with shyness: That it needs to be fixed.
You don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone in a permanent child-like mode?
Someone who blurts the first thing that comes to mind, who flirts madly, who wants attention, or the limelight – you don’t think they need fixing?

Shyness is not a minor thing – it’s the way they are – and it’s unlikely to change a lot over time. They will overcome the lack of confidence, the lack of self-esteem, or ignorance etc – whatever originally gave rise to the shyness – but they will, most likely, always be reserved, circumspect in what they say and unlikely to be out on the dance-floor doing an impersonation of John Travola on speed.
(Unless, of course, they’ve had the regulation 8 or 10 pints! )

Don’t push! Help them, instead, to achieve whatever you think they are capable of: whatever you think it’s holding them back from. (Especially if it’s you! )
Just marvel at the diversity of human nature: at the calmness, the thoughtfulness, and the consideration that we shy people usually have.
While we, in turn, will marvel at how someone can be child-like – can become a 4-year old again – and wish secretly that we had that ability.

Yep, the Shy Party didn’t do very well in the General Election.
But we’re going to form a coalition with the Meek Party and when they inherit the earth, we’ll be in a position of real power… Bwahahaahahaha
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

Ok so you know me im not the best at trying to explain what i mean!

Its not that i see shyness as wrong, i find it quite sweet actually. The thing is THEY say they hate being like that and feel it can hold thiem back at times, for instance when they would like to say something but just cant find the right way to say it.

I dont want to change the person but because they dont like it, do i assist in helping them come out of their shell?

Also the person has recently been through a major near death experience that has kinda knocked them to a degree in many ways, so they are going through a hell of alot at the moment.

Meh i think maybe ive over thought about this tooooooo much!

Maybe its something more then shyness, and maybe profesional help is needed? If not maybe they just need help living with it and accepting it.

I'm not one for pushing myself forward, and it has held me back in the past. But I wouldnt say I am shy.

Well I am about as shy as you get. used to be very lively and flirty.

I suppose to deal with someone shy, you need to be around them a fair bit, change the boundaries and make that person laugh, break the mould and do something incredibly different..

I would challenge any young woman to break me out of my shy interior and exterior.

OK I can type like this and that's not a problem. the hands do the talking here not the voice unless it's a screen reader lol hahahahaha.

I am the type of guy who's quiet but very romantic, kind, caring, understanding and hard working. I would do anything to make a woman smile. (Please note... this may be perceived as a challenge... press 1 for yes and 2 for maybe)

As a musician, the shy side of me is a bit more obvious. OKL I can happily be on stage or on the road with my pipes but when it comes to talking I can be a bit quiet. I let the music do the talking for me lol

lew xx

Well they do say opposites attract right !!! ..... not in my case, i'v always gone for the same type of guy as myself confident, outspoken etc etc. However started seeing a guy a couple of years ago who was the direct opposite, quite shy and not much confidence. At first thought this aint for me but thought i would give it a go as i felt 'safe' with him, but a few months down the line, realised we were just too different. I am sure it works for some people just not for me, i need someone to bounce off, so to speak

'Bounce off'! Spark off, more like!
Welcome back AM. Nice to see you again.
Like the pic!
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

I think sometimes people mistake others for being shy when that might not nessecarily be the case...or at least in my experience anyway...yes, I used to be a very shy person, but now I can be as lively as everybody else straight away...or sometimes I might just hold-back momentarily to gauge someone that I might never have met before, before showing your true character to them, if that makes any sense?!

Hmmm I am shy, spec when there is someone I like.

but if there is a girl who is interested in me and she is shy I tend to run with it and then there is no stopping. not sure why that is.

I am also the sort of person to wait for the other person to start the convo, maybe its a confidence thing I dont know,

but I have lost out on many convos with some nice girls!

I'm quite shy and i get nervous pretty easily too, meaning some opportunities get missed because i can't bring myself to act on them - no matter how much i want to. However, this only lasts for a couple of meetings until i feel comfortable around that person. i will add to this later, as i'm being moaned at for not doing any work !
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