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28.06.2007, 12:32 quote

Anonymous

elitious wrote:

i agree, i reread my post everytime, i mostly miss out words, or check my spelling before posting but mistakes are still down. but that is extreme case. one can always ask i think, there r no laws against asking a question or is there Embarassed


Nothing wrong with asking well thought out questions. It's the "hi how r u?" messages that I can't be bothered with. It just proves that they haven't read my profile.
Here's a strange thing, also : I took my original photo down for a couple of days and got NO messages. I put another one up and 'quelle surprise' I get eleventy billion more from the same people I'd ignored in the first place because they'd yet again not read my profile and thought I was another female to pester with their phone numbers, web cam requests and "hi".

 

28.06.2007, 12:58 quote

Anonymous

SarahRothman wrote:
elitious wrote:


so wat sort of msgs are u girls looking for Embarassed Rolling Eyes





You want a list? ok...

  1. Learn to type properly. Grammar and puncuation are there for a reason.
  2. Show that you have some intelligence.
  3. Show you have read my profile.
  4. Be funny.
  5. Give me something to reply to, an opinion, or something!
  6. Have a picture (of your face) in your profile.
  7. Do not hit on me.
  8. Do not give me your hotmail address.
  9. Do not give me your phone number.
  10. Do not make lewd comments.

there, easy! unlike posting on here which seems to centre everything whether I want it to or not. Confused


Reminds me why I don't send messages except to people on the message board. Wink
Maybe each women should put their own 10 commandments on their profiles so the poor sods who send out messages know where they stand ?

Lets hope women don't start ticking boxes in clubs and pubs. Surprised Wink

 

28.06.2007, 13:02 quote

Anonymous

elitious wrote:
SarahRothman wrote:
elitious wrote:

lol, now should we keep everything abt us on our profile. should it include what kinda food one like, can swin or not or wear glasses...that is just too much in my humble opininon. my take is if a girl doesn't like u no matter ur superman, she can still find faults in u.


I enjoy swimming, I do not wear glasses, I do not have dyslexia, I like pasta, avacados, and pies.

I suppose you know everything about me now.


but does u profile say that ?


no, but I think we are leaving the original point, you wanted to know what would prevent people from replying, I gave you a list, of things which would dissuade me from replying.

 

28.06.2007, 13:05 quote

Anonymous

Jeggea wrote:

Reminds me why I don't send messages except to people on the message board. Wink
Maybe each women should put their own 10 commandments on their profiles so the poor sods who send out messages know where they stand ?

Lets hope women don't start ticking boxes in clubs and pubs. Surprised Wink


why not use your brain and send a message which says something about you, and the person you are trying to talk to. It's not hard, but if you want some advice, talk to aunty Sarah....

 

28.06.2007, 13:18 quote

Anonymous

SarahRothman wrote:
Jeggea wrote:

Reminds me why I don't send messages except to people on the message board. Wink
Maybe each women should put their own 10 commandments on their profiles so the poor sods who send out messages know where they stand ?

Lets hope women don't start ticking boxes in clubs and pubs. Surprised Wink


why not use your brain and send a message which says something about you, and the person you are trying to talk to. It's not hard, but if you want some advice, talk to aunty Sarah....


Well Aunty Sarah [capital A in Aunty by the way]..... Wink ...to be honest I've had a reply from most of the messages I have sent in the past, I'm pretty good at it. But I got fed up with the unintelligent replies from most of the women to be honest. Surprised

Much better class of people on the message boards Wink

 

28.06.2007, 13:19 quote

Anonymous

People are easier to approach in real life than on the internet. End of.

There are far fewer agendas and delusions of grandeur for one. People are still judgmental, granted, but theres far less inclination for preconception.

Still, if you're willing to filter out so many people with little or no justification then thats fair enough. Once you've got through the priapismic chimps and dirty old men, the few decent ones that are left are more picky than you can possibly imagine. So prince charming has probably already saddled up.

 

28.06.2007, 13:19 quote

Anonymous

sure, lesson #1

Press the shift key when typing "I"

Razz

 

28.06.2007, 13:21 quote

Anonymous

chikhai wrote:
People are easier to approach in real life than on the internet. End of.

There are far fewer agendas and delusions of grandeur for one. People are still judgmental, granted, but theres far less inclination for preconception.

Still, if you're willing to filter out so many people with little or no justification then thats fair enough. Once you've got through the priapismic chimps and dirty old men, the few decent ones that are left are more picky than you can possibly imagine. So prince charming has probably already saddled up.


Very true, but what the internet also gives you is time to think about what you are going to send, to show yourself at your best, and make an effort. What does "hi u got msn" say about a person?

 

28.06.2007, 13:34 quote

Anonymous

SarahRothman wrote:
Very true, but what the internet also gives you is time to think about what you are going to send, to show yourself at your best, and make an effort. What does "hi u got msn" say about a person?


Well, without wanting to be argumentative for the sake of it, I'd say they wanted to eschew the rather shitty messaging system, but thats just me.

In all fairness, when all you have to go off in most cases is...

i like clubbin an drinking an hangin out wiv my friends

What do people expect? You get out of it what you put in. In real life you can use your surroundings to give a bit of context to your opener, when all people put in their profile is a picture and the vaguest tidbits of information about themselves, is it any wonder the first messages are less than satisfactory?

You're at a disadvantage online because you've very little to go off. I'm not talking just looks here. A way a person carries themselves, talks etc. gives away a lot, and will dictate whether you approach them or not. Online you've basically got a picture, and in most cases, answers to multiple choice questions. Consequently, on dating sites a lot of men take the 'scattershot' approach in the hope that a couple will show enough interest so they can get to know more. So really, theres no impetous to make a decent effort on your first message.

They're also clued up enough to know that the odds are stacked against them so it's safety in numbers. You can really go to town on an opening message and have it ignored because some other bloke looks marginally better than you on his photo.

 

28.06.2007, 13:39 quote

Anonymous

chikhai wrote:
SarahRothman wrote:
Very true, but what the internet also gives you is time to think about what you are going to send, to show yourself at your best, and make an effort. What does "hi u got msn" say about a person?


Well, without wanting to be argumentative for the sake of it, I'd say they wanted to eschew the rather shitty messaging system, but thats just me.

In all fairness, when all you have to go off in most cases is...

i like clubbin an drinking an hangin out wiv my friends

What do people expect? You get out of it what you put in. In real life you can use your surroundings to give a bit of context to your opener, when all people put in their profile is a picture and the vaguest tidbits of information about themselves, is it any wonder the first messages are less than satisfactory?

You're at a disadvantage online because you've very little to go off. I'm not talking just looks here. A way a person carries themselves, talks etc. gives away a lot, and will dictate whether you approach them or not. Online you've basically got a picture, and in most cases, answers to multiple choice questions. Consequently, on dating sites a lot of men take the 'scattershot' approach in the hope that a couple will show enough interest so they can get to know more. So really, theres no impetous to make a decent effort on your first message.

They're also clued up enough to know that the odds are stacked against them so it's safety in numbers. You can really go to town on an opening message and have it ignored because some other bloke looks marginally better than you on his photo.


Just from reading your last two messages I can tell you are an interesting and intelligent guy who puts thought into his messages, If you wrote to me like that, I guarantee I would reply. The fact is that most people don't and I do not see why I should bother to reply to them for not making an effort.

Sarah Embarassed

 

28.06.2007, 13:49 quote

Anonymous

chikhai wrote:
SarahRothman wrote:
Very true, but what the internet also gives you is time to think about what you are going to send, to show yourself at your best, and make an effort. What does "hi u got msn" say about a person?


Well, without wanting to be argumentative for the sake of it, I'd say they wanted to eschew the rather shitty messaging system, but thats just me.

In all fairness, when all you have to go off in most cases is...

i like clubbin an drinking an hangin out wiv my friends

What do people expect? You get out of it what you put in. In real life you can use your surroundings to give a bit of context to your opener, when all people put in their profile is a picture and the vaguest tidbits of information about themselves, is it any wonder the first messages are less than satisfactory?

You're at a disadvantage online because you've very little to go off. I'm not talking just looks here. A way a person carries themselves, talks etc. gives away a lot, and will dictate whether you approach them or not. Online you've basically got a picture, and in most cases, answers to multiple choice questions. Consequently, on dating sites a lot of men take the 'scattershot' approach in the hope that a couple will show enough interest so they can get to know more. So really, theres no impetous to make a decent effort on your first message.

They're also clued up enough to know that the odds are stacked against them so it's safety in numbers. You can really go to town on an opening message and have it ignored because some other bloke looks marginally better than you on his photo.


That’s a fair synopsis.

Also it seems to me some people [women] do not act themselves, and are a bit more demanding then they are in real life, or on message boards. It’s the main reason I haven’t bothered with online dating and prefer message boards.

To reject someone because of grammar and he makes a few spelling mistakes is a bit shallow imo...especially if you probably make errors yourself : P

 

28.06.2007, 14:00 quote

Anonymous

Jeggea wrote:

To reject someone because of grammar and he makes a few spelling mistakes is a bit shallow imo...especially if you probably make errors yourself : P


There is a world of difference between spelling and typing like an IQ-less chav. I appreciate that many people can't spell and I wouldn't reject a message from someone who was obviously having difficulties. It's the lazy factor that's annoying.

I am the Queen of Typos. My fingers type faster than my brain does. However, on a messageboard, a forum, an email etc, you have plenty of time to re-read it before blindly smacking the send-button.

If I get a "hi how r u" typical opening message and go and check their profile for similar interests and what have you, if they've typed the whole thing like a five year old then I'll most likely not bother to reply. If they can't spend the time to make themselves look vaguely intelligent then I don't really want to speak with them. Snobbish this may be but, online, I have a choice and much as I don't like, "LOL U GOT SUM PICS?!!11" I expect there's some dimwitted tart that will.

 

28.06.2007, 14:13 quote

Anonymous

8legs wrote:
Jeggea wrote:

To reject someone because of grammar and he makes a few spelling mistakes is a bit shallow imo...especially if you probably make errors yourself : P


There is a world of difference between spelling and typing like an IQ-less chav. I appreciate that many people can't spell and I wouldn't reject a message from someone who was obviously having difficulties. It's the lazy factor that's annoying.

I am the Queen of Typos. My fingers type faster than my brain does. However, on a messageboard, a forum, an email etc, you have plenty of time to re-read it before blindly smacking the send-button.

If I get a "hi how r u" typical opening message and go and check their profile for similar interests and what have you, if they've typed the whole thing like a five year old then I'll most likely not bother to reply. If they can't spend the time to make themselves look vaguely intelligent then I don't really want to speak with them. Snobbish this may be but, online, I have a choice and much as I don't like, "LOL U GOT SUM PICS?!!11" I expect there's some dimwitted tart that will.


I agree with you I hate text talk as well, but I do reply to them.

 

28.06.2007, 14:14 quote

Anonymous

CMISO wrote:
Would you write to anyone like with a profile like that anyway? *

Plus you missed the usual "I like having fun". Always a winner.

That last bit agrees with what's she's been saying though doesn't it?

* unless they'd been posting on the forums I doubt I would, but then you are going off what they've been saying on there as much as the profile anyway.


I do agree in principle, but it's a circular argument though, and it gets old fast. It goes something like this...

Women: Lots of poorly thought out or crass messages.

Men: Not enough information to form a genuinely decent message.


Its a problem thats not going to go away unless both sides do their part.

For what it's worth I've as good as given up on sending out messages (it even says so in the scrolling text on my profile now). Mainly because you're playing a numbers game, and the signal to noise ratio that women must suffer probably means that the good stuff gets flushed away with the bad. But also because if you're only average looking you're pissing in the wind.

Someone has to be doing something special to get a message from me now, and even then (as you've stated already) it's based on what they've posted here rather than their profile.

In terms of positive responses the passive approach is paying off so far.

 

28.06.2007, 14:39 quote

Anonymous

CMISO wrote:
chikhai wrote:
For what it's worth I've as good as given up on sending out messages (it even says so in the scrolling text on my profile now).

In terms of positive responses the passive approach is paying off so far.


The longest relationship (over 4 years) I've had off a dating site started when she messaged me a little irate that I'd viewed her page (once) without sending a message.

Another one started when I viewed her page a few times and she asked why I was so interested but hadn't messaged. Her profile was although interesting was written in such an aggressive/moody way that I didn't really know what to say in a message. I told her she needed to tone it down a little.

What I should have done was run for it straight away, the profile fitted her well. Could have saved 3 or 4 months there.


*puts rabbit in the pan*

hey! what are you saying?????

 
 
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