Interesting. And the low scorers on your english test end up dating aliens from Pluto?

[quote="rocketgirl"]

francis101 wrote:

Good one you francis, if that scares away a girl then she's not the one for you. It is hard, but best be up front about it on sites like this. love seems to be a given on these sites, unless you state otherwise. I myself am 42, got 2 grown up kids and have no interest in casual love. T'is almost impossible to find a man who does not balk at that, I am just looking for companionship as the only way I'd get that intimate would be if I were married again and I have no intention of ever getting married again. Ho hum, good luck to you francis!

thanks. i try to remain positive about it . why would you not want to get married again? i hope you find what youre looking for aswell.

[quote="francis101"]

rocketgirl wrote:

francis101 wrote: Good one you francis, if that scares away a girl then she's not the one for you. It is hard, but best be up front about it on sites like this. love seems to be a given on these sites, unless you state otherwise. I myself am 42, got 2 grown up kids and have no interest in casual love. T'is almost impossible to find a man who does not balk at that, I am just looking for companionship as the only way I'd get that intimate would be if I were married again and I have no intention of ever getting married again. Ho hum, good luck to you francis! thanks. i try to remain positive about it . why would you not want to get married again? i hope you find what youre looking for aswell.

Well I cant possibly say never - who knows who may one day sweep me off my feet and up the aisle?

And Guy, I didnt mention anything "platonic" (or "plutonic", Ed - which sounds interesting!) What I really mean is that I am not here to find a husband, I have no aspirations to find one, but nor am I 'up for' a casual sexual fling.
I'd rather live a chaste life if I never get married again. But nor am I looking to marry again either.
So, maybe there is a nice STRAIGHT man out there who is not bothered about love on a plate on the first date who also isnt desperate for a wife, but perhaps likes other intimacies that dont include actual love and respecting one another's religious or moral codes, but who knows if it goes anywhere else in the long run?
Having always gone for older men, I am getting to that age where my chances are being raised of finding a man who is beyond caring less about getting the chance to show off his bedroom athletics abilities!
I know there are some out there - my last fella was a 38 yrs old virgin, and I know a few men who have only ever been intimate with their partner.
I dont think its too much to ask for, and ever the optomist, I live in hope!

You didn't mention platonic, of course, but a woman seeking a relationship with a man without love is seeking a platonic relationship. That's what platonic means, honest.

You may be seeking some kind of "saucy celibacy" but again this is quite specialised. One of the dating sites I found for you, but can't mention here, might even cover this kind of thing.

And strictly speaking you've talked about is not wanting love outside of marriage, which is a very reasonable thing for a Catholic. Strictly speaking Catholics are also forbidden to marry a second time or even divorce.

However people seeking to avoid love outside of marriage can be found, again you might just need to get more specialised.

I must admit that I'm more familar with the Catholic church in a historic sense. In the middle ages, for example, divorces were possible but it required the personal authorisation of the Pope. So regular people simply couldn't get divorced and even kings and queen needed to pass stringent reasons for anullment.

I don't keep up with the practises of liberal Catholics as the antics of rabid anti-abortion and homophobic types tend to grab most most of the news coverage. I'll see if I can research this further, if I get a chance, now you've pointed this out.

It does seem a bit glib to ignore martial rules if things are not "Catholic" enough although I believe that people are free to interpret their religion any way you want. I apply equal weight to all types of marriages myself, as an ethical thing.

The only reason I pointed this lot is because you were complaining that you couldn't find men who were in tune with your requirements. I have been suggesting alternatives.

In modern dating terms you are looking for a hetrosexual, platonic relationship that has to be celibate (using the modern sense) until you have decided that you want to marry, if that marriage is possible in the first place due to your complex rules that depend on your personal history.

If marriage is impossible for you the you'll need to search for a platonic partner. Platonic does not mean homosexual nor does it mean there is no attraction. It just means no actual love, which in this situation is what you would be asking for.

If marriage is possible then you have the easier task of finding someone who agrees with the "no love before marriage" rule. You'll find that this is most common amongst religious communities, especially those that follow your own brand of Christianity - if only for the sake of simplicity.

I wasn't complaining.
I am happy with my life the way it is.
I just recognise it could be different if not better or worse if I were to meet a like-minded soul.
If I dont, thats fine cuz my life is complete enough already.

Ahh, I see that I misinterpreted "T'is almost impossible to find a man who does not balk at that" as a complaint. Obviously you relish the almost impossible! Good luck!

However I did managed to look up on Catholic marriage laws via http://www.catholicmarriagecentre.org.uk/marriagefaq.php and it was quite interesting.

I keep forgetting how complicated dogma can be.

I think the problem here PG is that you are trying to tell RG what she wants when she knows exactly what she wants and if she wanted to be advised on it she would ask for the said advice.

Just my tupence worth.

It may appear that way, but talking it through has appeared to have done some good.

By clarifying that she wants a soulmate, and on what grounds, she should find things easier for her in her search.

That "advice" was just suggestions, she took what she wanted from them and responded as she saw fit.