Posts: 436765 Topics: 21976 LOGIN

Home >> Dating >> Online relationship status

22.07.2010, 14:21 quote

missjb

Right, firstly Im not asking this to try and clarify my online relationship, i just wanted to know others opinion on the topic.

Ok, you have met a person off the net, talked lots, get on really well, start to like them, maybe develop feelings and have plans to eventually met up.

Would you class yourself as in some kind of relationship with the person, therefore not going near another person? If you did go on a date with another person, would that be classed as cheating??

I know this sounds stupid, but for me, i would class myself as free and single and can do as i please, not saying i would go from one guy to the next, but until i meet that person, possibly several times, i wouldnt class myself as in a relationship.

I ask because it is clear to me that other people may think differently on the topic and i wanted to know what other people feel about it?

 

22.07.2010, 14:28 quote

jeggae
jeggae Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 2174 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire
View user's profile Visit poster's website

missjb wrote:
Right, firstly Im not asking this to try and clarify my online relationship, i just wanted to know others opinion on the topic.

Ok, you have met a person off the net, talked lots, get on really well, start to like them, maybe develop feelings and have plans to eventually met up.

Would you class yourself as in some kind of relationship with the person, therefore not going near another person? If you did go on a date with another person, would that be classed as cheating??

I know this sounds stupid, but for me, i would class myself as free and single and can do as i please, not saying i would go from one guy to the next, but until i meet that person, possibly several times, i wouldnt class myself as in a relationship.

I ask because it is clear to me that other people may think differently on the topic and i wanted to know what other people feel about it?


Having a relationship with someone on the net, is probably not a lot of different then in real life. Whether you go on other dates depends on what you agree with the other person, if indeed you agree anything..or how much you like and respect them.

If you met someone you wanted to go further with and didnt want to lose..would you go on other dates, and be happy for them to??

 

22.07.2010, 14:37 quote

grooveme
grooveme Joined: 23 Aug 2008 Posts: 1532 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
View user's profile Visit poster's website

I would say technically you were still single until you both had met a few times and then agreed on what you both wanted. Just because you get on well over the net and are attracted to each others pictures or what you see via webcam, doesnt necessarily mean there would be chemistry in real life.
_________________
I'm a humble person...I'm really much greater than I think I am!

 

22.07.2010, 14:41 quote

itae

jeggae wrote:


If you met someone you wanted to go further with and didnt want to lose..would you go on other dates, and be happy for them to??


This is the view i take.

Most relationships are based on emotion, not so much physical.. friends with benefits, booty calls etc are physical.

If you like someone, emotionally, regardless of the situation you're in then you should atleast respect the fact that being with another person that isnt the person you're emotionally attached to, feelings would still get hurt. one or two nights with a separate person might not be worth risking the 2 or so years you could get with the person you actually like on a deeper basis.

 

22.07.2010, 16:27 quote

gypsymoon
gypsymoon Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 2655 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
View user's profile Visit poster's website

I have a problem with this issue on the web too.

For example, I had guy 1 take an interest in me and I liked him, then guy 2 came along the next day, who I also liked.

I had told guy 1 I was single

I told guy 2 that I had some interest in another man who I was likely to meet.

Guy 2 said 'well meet me first'.

So now I feel some loyalty to guy 1, but then I remember how many 'chats' with people just fizzle out....so I decided to meet guy 2.

As it happened, guy 1 vanished after some time even though we had lots in common and he was nearer my age.

Now me and guy 2 meet and get on well, say we'll meet again, but both of us are busy and the time moves on.... so when guy 3 comes along and wants to meet, I meet him aswell, as I hadn't heard from guy 2 for a while...... but should I have done or should I not have met him? Was I single or not? Are they all just casual boyfriends or 'flings'

I suppose for me, unless somebody makes it clear that we're in a relationship, in which case I would have no problem being 100% loyal, then it seems to me I'm single.
Sometimes, I would say I'm single, but not free in my mind to meet another guy, even if it might turn out to be non-starter with the one I want to be with.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

 

22.07.2010, 16:34 quote

jeggae
jeggae Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 2174 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire
View user's profile Visit poster's website

gypsymoon wrote:
I have a problem with this issue on the web too.

For example, I had guy 1 take an interest in me and I liked him, then guy 2 came along the next day, who I also liked.

I had told guy 1 I was single

I told guy 2 that I had some interest in another man who I was likely to meet.

Guy 2 said 'well meet me first'.

So now I feel some loyalty to guy 1, but then I remember how many 'chats' with people just fizzle out....so I decided to meet guy 2.

As it happened, guy 1 vanished after some time even though we had lots in common and he was nearer my age.

Now me and guy 2 meet and get on well, say we'll meet again, but both of us are busy and the time moves on.... so when guy 3 comes along and wants to meet, I meet him aswell, as I hadn't heard from guy 2 for a while...... but should I have done or should I not have met him? Was I single or not? Are they all just casual boyfriends or 'flings'

I suppose for me, unless somebody makes it clear that we're in a relationship, in which case I would have no problem being 100% loyal, then it seems to me I'm single.
Sometimes, I would say I'm single, but not free in my mind to meet another guy, even if it might turn out to be non-starter with the one I want to be with.


Sounds like there wasn't a lot of commitment sue and you were single. There's nothing wrong in going on a lot of dates.

Sometimes it doesn't have to be made verbally clear..but you just know there is something there and don't want to date anyone else. Although probably is better if its made clear..but that's not always reliable.

 

22.07.2010, 17:59 quote

bounderushu

The way I see it, if I start to feel there are possibilities of a relationship with someone from the net, then I try to meet up ASAP. Only meeting in real life can resolve whether or not to go further.

If for some reason we can't meet up, then I'm careful not to get too attached.

As the old saying goes: don't make someone your priority if they only make you an option.

 

22.07.2010, 18:08 quote

gypsymoon
gypsymoon Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 2655 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
View user's profile Visit poster's website

bounderushu wrote:


As the old saying goes: don't make someone your priority if they only make you an option.

Never heard that saying before but it's a good one.

I think you get exactly where I'm coming from Jeggs. I suppose it's just quite different with the net dating as you can talk with somebody quite a bit before you meet, so you've already invested something of yourself into the 'getting to know one another' period.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

 

22.07.2010, 19:29 quote

bounderushu

gypsymoon wrote:
bounderushu wrote:


As the old saying goes: don't make someone your priority if they only make you an option.

Never heard that saying before but it's a good one.


I was trying to remember where I've read it....

Liz's facebook profile! Very Happy

 

22.07.2010, 21:56 quote

bliss23

This is a really tough subject, although I used to believe I have solid opinions on it...

In the end, after long thoughts lol, I think it really depends on

1. If you've had a talk about it

2. Each person's morals and what they feel for the other person (and if they're willing to take a risk or would rather not depend on the other person)...

I don't think there are black and white answers to this, like there sometimes aren't black and white answers in life... You can end up weird in real life too...

It's complicated anyway.

 

22.07.2010, 22:00 quote

douneedlaid
Joined: 27 Jun 2009 Posts: 10 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
View user's profile Visit poster's website

CAN and WORMS springs to mind.

There will be that many different possibilities that this thread could never be nailed down correctly.

I would say that only meeting one person at a time would be the most sensible to save love triangles etcetera. What's the rush anyway? Good things come to those who wait... Laughing

 

22.07.2010, 22:04 quote

bliss23

douneedlaid wrote:
Good things come to those who wait... Laughing


So do bad things. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

 

23.07.2010, 07:15 quote

handsel
handsel Joined: 18 Mar 2009 Posts: 2355 Location: United Kingdom, England, West Midlands
View user's profile Visit poster's website

Bliss23 wrote:
douneedlaid wrote:
Good things come to those who wait... Laughing


So do bad things. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

So do the monotonous, samey things. Razz
(In fact, I think it's mainly those! Surprised )
_________________
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

 

23.07.2010, 12:36 quote

missjb

I disagree that a relationship is not so much physical, looks and attraction wouldnt be that important if that was the case. You need both to make a relationship work and you cant fully get either without meeting.

The thing is how do you know that what you are feeling is real? yeh you can like the words the person said but how can you fully know that that is actually them?

I know some people that have talked to people for several months via just msn and the occasional phone call, I dont get how you can get them feelings and actually get to know each other properly? I mean you need to see their face, see their facial expressions, see them smile and watch them laugh to actually get to know that person, how can you get that via msn, there are only so many smilies you can use!!! Ive said before that I think webcam helps with that side of thing but it sill isnt the person in the flesh!

see although I class myself as single I tell people that I am interested in someone else, on here and in the real life to and because of my feelings (real or not) I wouldnt plan a date with another guy but im also a realist and know that things can and do happen.

Ive come to the conclusion that you CANT be in a proper relationship with a person you have never met, though you can feel loyalty towards them, you cant base a relationship on typed words and emotes, they cant beat or even come close to the touch and the feelings you get in the flesh.

I also think it actually says alot about a person that would label it is a proper relationship and would question their need for control and their ability to have a real relationship in the real life!

 

23.07.2010, 13:12 quote

jeggae
jeggae Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 2174 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire
View user's profile Visit poster's website

All due respect jb..yu sound a little confused Smile

You cant really have a relationship unless you meet..what the point in saying you have a relationship for a long time, then not be attracted when you actually meet?
You can have virtual love with anyone on the net, but you are mainly using imagination. Will you like the sexually when you meet in the skin??

This is a dating site, so people should be meeting. Thats the only guide to know whether you are attracted to someone. Thats why site meets are good, as you get to meet people without any pressure

To be honest, you should reserve judgement on anyone until you have met them.

You will probably know when you want to refrain from chatting and meeting other people.

 
 
Jump to:

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum