My children were 9 and 13 when me and my ex-hubby told them that he'd had fallen in love with another woman and would be leaving our home to live with her.
It was nowhere near as awful as we expected. Nothing like this is ever easy but once the situation is known and acknowledged, then being honest and up-front about it is the only way forward. The emphasis was that that their dad no longer loved me, but he still loved them just as much, and would come to see them regularly or take them out.

Like you chris, I had known that something wasn't right, but because I felt this, it was me that forced the issue into the open. It was a total shock because I hadn't guessed that it was another woman, I had thought it was a financial problem that had affected my ex-hubby's behaviour. We had been married for 18 years and he left to go back to live with the same woman and house he'd lived with when he was 18.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

I'm a married man, and I love my wife very much. I enjoy spending time with her and we've a lot in common.

Unfortunately the physical side of the marriage is over now. It started to fade soon after we got married, picked up again when we were trying for a baby and slowed down again drastically after that. We could go for a year without making love at all. Now my wife has a long term illness that means she couldn't be with me in that way even if she wanted to.

I really miss being with her, and if she was interested or able to make love with me I'd never dream of going with anyone else, but I am quite down about the lack of physical affection in my life.

My wife said a while ago that if I ever did go with anyone else she didn't ever want to hear about it. She'd brought the subject up after an item on a radio programme we heard.

I know this might make me sound selfish, when my wife is in the state she is, to be moaning about not getting any love, but I still need to feel wanted physically. Am I wrong to feel like that? I know some people would think so. I think so myself sometimes.

This is for one's own conscience, who are we to make judgements?
However understanding a partner may be, it can feel hurtful for the one, who through no fault of their own, either knows or guesses that the sexual needs are being satisfied elsewhere.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

Kids grow up so fast and before you know it, they're in their teens and following the natural way of spending as little time with parents so they can be out with their mates.
So, it's important that parents start to prepare for a life of their own too.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

It's tough with the kids I agree ... when my 3yrs old daughter said to both of us in a mid-massive-argument (daily traits) "stop fighting", I had decided then to end that marriage because it was beginning to impact her clearly. She's 5 now and a lovely happy child. My ex and I are finally settled in the routines to make sure she gets the best from both of us.

Although I never cheated on my ex until that decision. between filing of divorce and getting a new place (2 months from that fight), I started a short term intimate relationship with a close friend.

I don't judge people since one can't place themselves in their position. However I have a friend with an amazing loving wife who just couldn't shake off his university habbit of one night stands. Now, what he does is wrong and I do judge him for that and had warned him to stop sleeping around so much before walking in to a marriage as this is one tough addiction to get rid of.