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Home >> Dating >> name and shame thread
11.07.2007, 14:05 quote
| Nixy69 wrote: |
this thread is for the name and shame so girls and maybe men  can be warned what this person is really after. |
But that’s the whole point, people are *allowed* to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’, as well as dating, flirting, whatever. Unless a message is offensive or abusive, no-one actually has a right name and shame someone for the fact that someone who contacted then is using the site looking for a sexual encounter, especially if their own profile indicates a wide range of ‘Looking for…..’ that could be interpreted to mean that the person might be open to offers of a sexual nature (one night stands, etc).
I agree that no-one should have to put up with unwanted sexual advances from anyone else, either in the real world or virtual world. Whether or not one complains (or names and shames) all boils down to whether or not the advances were relevant to their own profile.
If I say on my profile that I am looking for romance or a long term relationship (for example), then I have every right to complain when I receive suggestive messages. If I say on my profile that I am looking for one night stands or discreet encounters, I leave myself open to receiving sexually suggestive messages.
I repeat: people are allowed to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’ as well as dating, flirting, whatever – sorry, but that is the nature of a dating site. It might not have been the original intention of Flirtbox, but it is a fact. Abusive and offensive messages aside, if you can’t swim, don’t jump into the water.
11.07.2007, 14:11 quote
| darkhorse58 wrote: |
|
But that’s the whole point, people are *allowed* to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’, as well as dating, flirting, whatever. Unless a message is offensive or abusive, no-one actually has a right name and shame someone for the fact that someone who contacted then is using the site looking for a sexual encounter, especially if their own profile indicates a wide range of ‘Looking for…..’ that could be interpreted to mean that the person might be open to offers of a sexual nature (one night stands, etc). I agree that no-one should have to put up with unwanted sexual advances from anyone else, either in the real world or virtual world. Whether or not one complains (or names and shames) all boils down to whether or not the advances were relevant to their own profile. If I say on my profile that I am looking for romance or a long term relationship (for example), then I have every right to complain when I receive suggestive messages. If I say on my profile that I am looking for one night stands or discreet encounters, I leave myself open to receiving sexually suggestive messages. I repeat: people are allowed to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’ as well as dating, flirting, whatever – sorry, but that is the nature of a dating site. It might not have been the original intention of Flirtbox, but it is a fact. Abusive and offensive messages aside, if you can’t swim, don’t jump into the water. |
This deserves a round of applause. Very well said, sir.
11.07.2007, 14:35 quote
| cheekyeyes wrote: |
Have to agree with Darkhorse to.....and he did ask nicely  |
Yup, always a please and a thank you
11.07.2007, 15:04 quote
Some guys seem to think because they're women on the net they're up for it, too much porn maybe.
11.07.2007, 16:40 quote
| darkhorse58 wrote: | ||
But that’s the whole point, people are *allowed* to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’, as well as dating, flirting, whatever. Unless a message is offensive or abusive, no-one actually has a right name and shame someone for the fact that someone who contacted then is using the site looking for a sexual encounter, especially if their own profile indicates a wide range of ‘Looking for…..’ that could be interpreted to mean that the person might be open to offers of a sexual nature (one night stands, etc). I agree that no-one should have to put up with unwanted sexual advances from anyone else, either in the real world or virtual world. Whether or not one complains (or names and shames) all boils down to whether or not the advances were relevant to their own profile. If I say on my profile that I am looking for romance or a long term relationship (for example), then I have every right to complain when I receive suggestive messages. If I say on my profile that I am looking for one night stands or discreet encounters, I leave myself open to receiving sexually suggestive messages. I repeat: people are allowed to use the site to look for ‘sexual encounters’ as well as dating, flirting, whatever – sorry, but that is the nature of a dating site. It might not have been the original intention of Flirtbox, but it is a fact. Abusive and offensive messages aside, if you can’t swim, don’t jump into the water. |
Could'nt have put it better myself honey
_________________
11.07.2007, 17:54 quote
| darkhorse58 wrote: | ||
Sorry Nixy, but although you might have found this message offensive, is it really? He made it clear what he wanted (and was offering) without being verbally offensive or using vile language, and on the surface was in fact very polite and articulate, which is a lot better response to your profile than you might have got from the one-liner brigade. I do not want to belittle your feeling that this person should be named & shamed, but I think you should also take into consideration that under the 'Looking for....' part of your profile, you include (amongst others): one-night stands discreet encounters casual encounters a threesome with 1 guy and 2 girls a threesome with 1 girl and 2 guys At the risk of pointing out the obvious, you are almost certainly going to get offers like the one you posted above, you were lucky to get one so eloquently worded (rather the usual 'fancy a shag?' message) |
Couldn't agree more with everything you've said DH
Sorry and all that, but if you're going to make it public that you're up for everything and anything, you can't expect anything less. As DH says, it's polite and articulate, more than some get.
11.07.2007, 18:55 quote
I don't see the point of this "name and shame" lark.
1. I don't imagine the people being "shamed" are going to read this thread or care.
2. I don't imagine anyone is going to look at this thread before talking to someone. In fact I'd hazard a guess that the people will make their "nasty" nature known up front in their 1st few messages.
So umm ... besides bitching & laughing at a few random people with profiles on here ... what is the actual use of this thread ?
11.07.2007, 19:38 quote
| twistedvoilet wrote: |
| god has said in the disgusting messages thread thats we can name and shame the culprits |
i know god owns the forums - but that just cracks me up - divine orders
11.07.2007, 19:40 quote
| CharmingDave wrote: |
| I don't see the point of this "name and shame" lark.
|
Yep. Quite frankly I think this thread should be locked so no-one else can post in it.
11.07.2007, 19:41 quote
| CharmingDave wrote: |
| bitching & laughing at a few random people with profiles on here ... what is the actual use of this thread ? |
i think THAT'S the point mate
11.07.2007, 20:45 quote
| darkhorse58 wrote: | ||
Yep. Quite frankly I think this thread should be locked so no-one else can post in it. |
I think the odds are against that, God suggested it, and a mod started it....
11.07.2007, 20:49 quote
right the point in this thread, is that people have had abusive messages from people and wanted to say who they are from, but wasnt sure they was allowed, and now we are.
but i will be keeping a eye on it, when i can, to make sure it doesnt get out of hand
11.07.2007, 21:04 quote
So, er, who decides what is 'abusive' or not? And will that person (or people) be objective? There is already one post here that I have argued is not abusive, but it is still here and infringes the senders right to privacy.
I am only arguing this point purely from the perspective of an experienced forum administrator and moderator.
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