I am in kind of a bad situation, I was married when i was 19 had two children by the time i was 24, now 30 years later, my husband one night says he is not happy, doesn't think he loves me, and even offered for me to stay there in the spare room, to save rent, nope i moved out that night, have a great apartment, but having a hard time getting back in the circles where you can meet decent men, without hanging around a meat market bar scene. ewww... am I hopeless, a 49 year old washed up woman? god i hope not.

Sure there's hope! I have a few female friends who have had similar experiences and have started new, successful relationships in their 40s. Just stay positive and pro active about it, and don't make too much of a deal over your previous marriage

Good luck

Did I not read your post correctly?
You were married? Not everyone gets that: there's quite a few - on here - who'd like that! You had 30 years of marriage - how many marriages last that long? You were blessed with two kids - still less get that! Haven't you been the lucky one!
Now you are free to do whatever pleases you. And you say you're in a bad situation?
I don't think so!
You knew you didn't want to stay 'rent free' and you didn't. It just needs the same resolve and determination now. The opportunities will be less - so you're just going to have to make the most of any you get!
But you are not hopeless or washed up. There's a lovely man for you and you have to find him. If you see an opportunity - you have to grab him!

And you make it sound like a meat market is a bad thing!
When you want a nice, juicy steak or a bit of tender loin - where do you go?
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

Beware of potential scammers that leave messages in your guestbook or elsewhere and try to get you on msn asap, your profile is lovely, but perfect for those wishing to exploit you.

As said above, the computer has it's place but you could also try joining a club, or even classes to learn a new skill, as you're more likely to meet local people sharing a common interest.

Being on here will also open the door for new people to chat to and build up your confidence. Always remember that there are the men equivalent to yourself who have also come out of long term relationships and feel just the same as you about starting over.

I was 42 when I was forced to start afresh and it was scary at the time, but now I am so happy with my life, and think my life has turned out better than I could ever have wished for.

I adopted the attitude of " Life, part 2 here I come!!" Good luck to you.
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http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

Hmmmm …. A couple of things spring to mind – I suspect that very few couples can say that they went through a 30 year marriage without one, or both of them feeling ‘unhappy’ at some point; there are probably almost as many who would (if pushed for an honest answer) say that they weren’t sure if they still loved the other one at some point.

Also noted, you didn’t mention whether you love/loved your husband of 30 years, and since you ‘moved out that night’ one is left to assume that you didn’t spend all that much time that night trying to save this 30 year marriage either.

I wouldn’t bring up the latter when on a date if I was you, it kind of makes one wonder how quickly you can pack a bag and get out of a relationship when things aren’t going smoothly. Let’s face it, if someone can walk out of a 30 year marriage ‘that night’, is that person going to stick around for someone they’re dating socially or dating with a view to something a bit more long term? Shit, I’d be looking under the bed every night to see if there was a bag packed

Well, I guess the shock of discovering that a long term partner is no longer in love with them, would be enough for many to flee immediately. I know people who have done that because of the way they felt at that specific moment. But, most wished they hadn't been so hasty.
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http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

if you've put 30 of your best years into someone for them to turn around and tell you that they don't love you, why would you stick around and beg them to love you again? I'd leave that night too, tbh.

do you want to change......
find another man .. ?
tolanisri@yahoo.com

Amputation is the only way... I keep saying it... don't I keep saying it?!!!!!

Yes, your situation is completely hopeless, all washed up, there is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel, and your life is now completely over. You will never recover, and there is no-one left in the world who is honest nor worth it. So yes, your situation is completely untenable. Bearing that now in mind, there is always hard drugs and S&M...