It's easy to act like a nice guy.. whether you hold true to it or not is another matter entirely. What happens behind closed doors and all that.

i too have asked the same question - why do they put up with it? i was surprised at how many people said the same thing in response.. They were too scared to leave. That really pisses me off.

I think the police or council should set up a specific 'trust' for women who are in that situation and actually HELP them rather than fob them off with bullshit.

The hole subject of abusive partners pisses me off, i don't think women should have to put up with it.
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i think you might of miss-interpreted my meaning of "that pisses me off"

it pisses me off the fact that they have to be in a situation where they are scared to do anything in the first place.

A few years back we found out that my sister's ex used to abuse her and the children they had... needless to say, she got divorced from him and is now happily married again 300 miles further up country and her ex.. well last we heard his ribs still haven't healed properly from the 'run in' he had with someone..

I'd try and help ANY one that was in an abusive relationship whether they are a friend, relative or a complete stranger, taking the first step is always the hardest and i really do think more should be done to help them.
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Stu, I understand your frustration about why dont someone in authority DO something.
Having worked with vulnerable adults, I can only say from my own observations. They are not allowed to. Everyone has the right to stay in a destructive situation, human rights and all that.
Shiraz - I could regale you with countless stories similar to yours, except the end bit goes "When Joe stepped in to protect her - with broken glass in her face!! - she started screaming at Joe 'Leave him alone! I love him!......so the police gave her a phone number for domestic abuse which she promptly shredded, then they left." End of story, til the next time.....and round and round it goes.
Occasionally, the victim finally finds the courage/wherewithall to leave.


The DVU (police Domestic Violence Unit) and other organisatiions set up to help such victims can only help when the victim has made that first step to get out of it. And not before. They simply do not have the resources or emotional strength to go through the motions being part of the logistics of getting said victim away from the abuser, keep them safe etc. for the victim to decide to go right back......It has to be very black and white......the victim has the right to choose to stay in said shit situation. When they change their mind, there are organisations to help them move on.
The gap is filled by the likes of Shiraz and Stu, thank God!!!

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But its a harsh reality. One which gave me a nervous breakdown, which is why I dont do that work anymore.

U just burn out if u don't watch it.

With beating up women becoming less & less socialy acceptable, what you find these days is a massively growing trend towards emotional/mental/financial abuse. Which, according to victims, is even far worse than getting a slap, cos it's harder to identify, harder to prove & harder to escape.

Its hard to understand and the women themselves are not aware of it mostly. Low self esteem, thats the why of it.

Belfaster' where are u.. off kicking/fixing kittens? look only 5 pple voted nasty and one of them is a pussycat in diguise and the other 4 are probably..er..nasty blokes.