I would like to be carried in a litter, fed grapes and fanned by tanned men in just loin cloths.

Is that too much to ask?

The best I could find at such short notice Ma'am.

Treat her like a lady by having respect for the fact that she's smart enough to make her own decisions. Don't always be available, don't always answer her questions, don't give unsolicited advice - if she asks for it don't give it to her! Just listen - when she's done say something like "sounds like you're upset about this," or something - she'll go on for another 10 minutes then you can follow up by saying "well, good - you always do well handling problems like that." Then drop it - she'll think you're a genius and you didn't even say anything. Just don't get sucked in to her reality.