I have to let a lady go, and I'm dreading it.

She's become very attached way too quickly, whereas my emotions belong elsewhere.

Yes, I know - be honest and direct. Should I wear body armour?

tim

Yes be honest and direct, but f if your emotions are elsewhere, why get involved with her in the first place ?????????

Maybe timbo didn't realise his emotions belonged elsewhere until the current lady got too attached?
Timbo - people who get too attached too quickly generally have a hard time letting go - so yeah, honest, direct and cut loose - and def. body armour

Maybe timbo didn't realise his emotions belonged elsewhere until the current lady got too attached?
Timbo - people who get too attached too quickly generally have a hard time letting go - so yeah, honest, direct and cut loose - and def. body armour
Actually I think that body armor has to be psychological so you dont end up being made to feel guilty.

All I'm gonna say Timbo --- just think very carefully that you are not actually picking the one who hasn't become 'too attached yet' cuz you're not ready for that. You know what I'm saying? When this other lady that you are choosing to keep gets more attached, will the grass be greener in tuther field after all?
And what does it say to the lady you are choosing to keep? She wins cuz she's not acting toooooooo fond of you.....that would put me off *ever* having the courage to get close to you if I were in her shoes......
Might be better for you to lie a little and let them both know that you are fonder of the one for your own private reasons, you know?
Just the way I'm reading what you wrote, t'is all.

Is it me or has the words 'being faithful' within a realtionship been lost forever .............. i have and would never 'divide' my time between to guys and then when i cant decide lie to save there feelings ......... WTF. I am 37 and been around the block a couple of times but some of these stories make me thank my lucky stars that i have morals ............... and someone i can trust .................. x

Annmarie, you have totally misunderstood me.
I myself have never been unfaithful (though I've been cheated on) and I've never lied to a man (though I've been lied to).
My personal 'morals' are irrelevant here.
The point is this:
Timbo is not asking for us to be judge and jury, nor is he asking for our permission, I believe he is asking for Unbiased advice/opinions on how to deal with his current dilemma?
The way I have understood it from Timbo is that he has spread his net wide and now needs to sort the wheat from the chaff without feeling too guilty or hurting someone too much.
There has been no 'unfaithfulness' going on, as he says both young ladies have even met.
Now it seems to me Timbo, if both ladies knew the score from the outset then you have no fear of hurting one as she is fully prepared to be the loser? Sounds to me that all 3 of you have played with fire and all must be prepared for the inevitable burns when the flames fan against someone.
Whatever you decide how and what to do, I hope it turns out well for you.

Blimey Timbo, you should know better than to mention anything other than a textbook relationship around these here parts. They'll be burning a cross on your lawn next.

Anyway. There is no easy way to break it to her. Whichever method you choose will still make you a cunt in her eyes, so the best thing you can do is pick a way that you can at least feel comfortable with. You can't do anything for her feelings now, so choose a way that doesn't saddle you with any guilt.

I agree with Chikhai.
You are not responsible for her feelings, we all have to own our own feelings no matter what. Of course another person's deeds and words have a big impact on our feelings in any given situation, but ultimately we are all responsible for how we deal with it.
There is a huge difference between "taking responsibility for" and "acting responsibly about".
Just do what's right for you, ultimately its no one else's beeswax is it?

Good luck Timbo for tonite.