I never said I thought you were married, I said that's what that category makes women think, and they avoid that type of profile.

I know the other site you mentioned, and if I remember correctly, I tried it briefly, but deleted my profile after receiving tons of fake messages, supposedly from very pretty women who had supposedly read my profile.

However, the giveaway was that my profile had absolutely no detail and no photo on it and I didn't send a single message out. That should result in zero messages, not loads of messages from pretty women.

Toby warned us about other sites employing underhand tactics to keep users interested. That's not to say that ALL Of them are fake, but I reckon many of them definitely are. Maybe I'm wrong - let us know if these women actually turn up on a dates, then I'll re-consider my position.

Hey, I had that 'discreet encounters' box ticked when I first joined (although I keep tinkering with my profile so I don't think I have it now)
Oh, and I'm not married.

I even got a PM with that box ticked. Unfortunately they didn't want a discreet encounter, but hey, I'm an optimist.

This site is never going to take the place of real life. What this site has taught me (if anything) is that the words we speak/write really are a very small percentage of how we communicate. I can head down to Brighton on a Friday night and make eye contact with someone, smile at them, talk to them and see how they respond to me. A lot of the signals I get from that are body language and not even processed consciously. It just works. Compare that to writing a list of likes/dislikes on a website where people can see a still image, it's not even close.

I couldn't say I knew anyone on this site from their profile, I can't tell from a page of text whether I'd get on with somebody in real life. People who get your messages have to make a decision on whether opening a line of communication to you is a good idea. Most people err on the side of caution and don't reply unless you tick every box on their wish-list. Persevere, keep it brief (unlike me), and pace it slow. People are going to want to chat and get to know you for a while before you even consider asking them if they want to meet you.

technically speaking youre profile is an absolute howler and where some might make up the gulf in social competence with innate good looks and dress sense..... you have neither...... take my advice buddy and move to texas and take out a subsscription to guns and ammo....

"prettyboy" lol

Made me giggle
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ok, had my first date from the other site. Lady was good company, she chose the location and boy, did it make me laugh. we went to a pub locally to her for a drink and get to know each other, she talked endlessly not letting me get a word in at times. enjoyable evening, and she wasnt scared by the rats in the pub garden although she did pull her feet up on the bench. haha, i see you all going omg, well, she chose the venue and the rats were very real, three of them scavenging for food, too funny, oh and to cap it all off there was a couple of maybugs flying about too, she referred to them as draculas haha. very enjoyable evening.
she was impressed by all appearances that i match my profile in how i am etc.
suggestion of the night was she didnt have ratatoille (spellcheck) from the specials menu

other site 1. here zip

I am also a member of the other site you hinted non to subtly at.

As are many of the forum members here.

They are both dating site and there the comparison ends!

The other one is cold and mechanical, the forums suck and most of the guys on there think that they are brad pitt!

This one has always been warm and the owner takes an active interest in the members and the forums are the best I have ever found.

Chose whichever you want be a member of both or not but for gods sake stop comparing them!

In answer to your original question - keep it real when you are messaging people, say something about their profile and interests and at all times keep it polite and clean!

Just for comedy, I had one today that after exchanging 2 PM's he asked if I liked having champagne licked off my tits. I really wish that men acted like that in real life - then I could smack them in the mouth instead of just blocking them!!!

I agree with pol, IMO the other site sucks! I came off it after a few weeks, this one is by far the best and the people in the forum are fab.

LOL my profile on hidden, they all love themselves. Its dates we want though not faves, even the ones that vote for you dont even leave a message, Just a farce I think. You enjoy though hun its not for any of us to say do this or do that.

Lol - I was being sarcastic Bon Bon - the faves thing drives me mad - such a useless part of a dating site to make it public!

haha thought I was the master at sarcasm lol. My kinda thinking