do you think that there is a type of woman that no matter what she does will always attract wrong n abusive men and do you think there is anything a girl can do to change this?

I think sometimes the women tend to ignore what is right in front of them at the start of the relationship because they are attracted to the bloke. But I think that can change.

My cousin is a perfect example. She suffered through years of 'bad boys' before finally finding somebody who treats her right and is a genuinely nice bloke. They just have to really look at a person.

The wrong type of guy for whatever reason is everywhere, the abusive type, or whatever, but these types of people seem to hide it really well, and it will take a while for them to show their true colours.
You can look at it as attracting the wrong sort of man, but really it is the man that is drawn towards a certain type of person.
Not that being that way is bad, or even slightly wrong, it's hardly the woman's fault is the man she ends up has 'character flaws'.
The only thing to can do is never give up and remember not to take any shit, it's supposed to be about making each other happy, not insane......

thanx for your advice and to all that have replied most appreciated

I think for some perverse reason many women CHOOSE the bad guy. Sure the nice guys are few and far between but when you have lasses telling you that they prefer to go after guys that have no interest in them, you know something's not quite right.

its also having confidence in yourself..

if you dont have any then your gonna take the shit cos you feel, that you deserve it/ you cant get better/ etc
and they will see that and play on it

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I have to agree with this. But I'd like to add that by the time the guy does show his true colours it's usually too late into the relationship to stop very easily.
There are some good guys out there (so I'm told) it's just a case of finding someone who'll take the time to get you to trust them. And treat you right.

M
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Its never too late to get out of an abusive realtionship, personally, i would be gone the first time he hit me and never go back, i have known a couple of people in such realtionships, and can i say a leopard rarely changes his spots. In regard to women being attracted to 'bad boys' this does not equal being abusive, far from it the guys i referred to above have been to the total opposite, had no self esteem, lack confidence etc.

At the end of the day, if the women carry on letting them get away with it, they will keep doing it, and all this crap about but 'i love him' oh and 'what about the kids' your choice is simple, live in fear for you or your family or be happy elsewhere, i know which one i would choose, just a shame my mum didn't have my confidence ............................. x[/quote]

I totally agree, with you, and I'd probably be done for murder if a guy did lift his hand to me. But I have known women to stay in physically abusive relationships for years before they find the courage to leave. The terrible thing is about these "relationships" is that the victim is led to believe it's their fault, dinner wasn't cooked properly, they wore the wrong clothes, etc.

Oh and I know that there are some abused guys out there as well with equally vindictive and violent female partners, just not as many.

Am sorry bout your mum AnnMarie, I'm sure she's proud of the way you've turned out tho!! x

This might sound strange, but it is actually possible to be in a relationship that is at best a joke, and be satisfied with that.
I have been there myself and even though I had it pretty bad at times, for some stupid reason I felt like it was where I was supposed to be.
Looking back now, I still wander WTF I was thinking, but I also remember thinking that there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I think I just thoght that you have to make allowance for some things, cos no-one is perfect and all that, and it went from there.
The only thing good that I can say about this subject really is that being treated badly is not really something that happens to self-centred, ignorant, or big-headed people, it just happens to all the good guys, who care maybe a little too much for other people's feelings.......

There are plenty of serial victims out there. Every one I've known has been pretty shallow, while at the same time lacking the confidence to do something about their predicament.

They love the trophy cock, but when he turns out to be a bad guy...well I guess you should read the label beforehand.

You cant help who you are attracted to LL, and as has been said some [maybe most] women are attracted to funny cocky men, and abusive men tend to be like that. Most women don't seem to be that attracted to nice boring men. That's the way I see it anyway.

I have seen lots of seemingly very nice, attractive girls for reasons utterly beyond me date blokes that are blatantly complete w**kers, and all i can think of is there must be some subconcious desire for the 'bad boy'. I was chatting with a friend of a friend a while back in the pub, who was not particularly wealthy or attractive, and this fella has been out with loads of fantastic looking, and very nice personality-wise, girls, and he always seems to openly (verbally) treat them like sh*t and they put up with it. I asked him about it, and he said to me that the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" saying really is true and it works. I was going to say something about the fact he shouldnt talk to his GF like that, but she didnt seem particularly fussed by it and thought perhaps she enjoyed it