do you think that there is a type of woman that no matter what she does will always attract wrong n abusive men and do you think there is anything a girl can do to change this?

Difficult one. Lots and lots of books have been written about this phenomenom and I don't think anyone has yet found a "one answer fits all" answer to that question.
Having been a psychotherapist working with female clients with this problem I would say umm well yeah for some strange reason that I can't fathom some women seem to gravitate their whole life towards men who arent doing them any favours.
Its probably more about not knowing how to be any different - they say dont they that women who's fathers were alcoholics end up marrying one, ditto wife beaters.
Personally I know this behaviour pattern CAN be changed. (at least in some women).
When I was 16 I met a man who I stayed with for over 3 years even though he beat me senseless on many an occasion - he kept saying sorry, he kept promising me it wouldn't happen again.....I believed him, or rather I *wanted* to believe him, I didn't know I was worthy of better cuz he was my first relationship I guess.
In the end he left me, not the other way round, but I vowed after that to never let a man lay a finger on me ever again.
I met my future husband and he was a perfect gentleman like that and I've steered clear of abusive men ever since.
So I guess I learned by experience what I was not willing to tolerate and stuck to it.
Some don't.
I have no idea why, other than there being alot of deep psychological dysfunction going on that a woman can't deal with, for alot of reasons.
(oh and btw, my dad was *not* a wife beater, I have no idea why I got myself into that situation!).
And its worth mentioning that there are a hell of alot of men out there who lurch from one abusive woman to another as well.....

To be honest i'm not sure you can do anything to change it Lou, apart from leaving him on the first signs of any abuse. These men, i'm sure will abuse women all there lives, so doesn't matter who the woman is, and i'm sure they prey on the sort of women they can get way with it on.

Like i have siad before it's all about having the confidence and respecting yourself and not allowing it to carry on past the first encounter, i know for some people that's easier said than done, i just know i would not allow any man to hit me more than once .................... x

Lou,

I'm not the expert that RG is, but I do know that we tend to follow the same patterns throughout our lives. I think the trick is to talk to a professional, and learn to recognise and change this sort of programmed behaviour before it happens again. The fact that such progamming leads to very low esteem would seem to set the trend that the subject conforms to throughout his/her life.

My first wife was a sexual victim from being a child (abused by her father) and expected to be humiliated by every man she met. I was too young to know how to handle this, and so my gentle ways left her cold. I hope she's found some peace and resolution in the 20 years since I last saw her.

Incidentaly, I read a quote form a lady the the other day which went something along the lines of, "whenever I meet Prince Charming, I still end up with the asshole who stands behind his shoulder".

I know it's dangerous for a total bozo like me to offer unsolicited advice Lou, but I'd suggest you see a pro, and learn how to raise your expectations. The fact that you're even asking the initial question shows that you're heading in the right direction already!

tim