I was reading this post that a female member posted about - http://www.flirtbox.net/dating/do-men-only-go-4-the-slim-women-.html

So my question is frm the male perspective, I am a big lad myself and find it VERY hard to approach women in fear of rejection which happens 99% of the time, I also find when looking on dating sites that I go for the profiles of the fuller figured woman ( I do like big girls tho ) but when I do reply to lets say the smaller figured woman I get hate replies like "Why did you even bother trying you Fat f**k", so one more question does being a fat man mean I should be single because noone can accept me with my big frame :/, thanks for any replies and or light you may be able to shine on the situation.

In fact, no.

Being a larger bloke is NOT the disadvantage you might suspect. So keep at it, dude.

I just read a factual study of what most men and women tend to avoid and prefer on dating websites. This is based not on what on-line daters say or claim, but on WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO, from their actual emailing patterns, so it's pretty darned reliable. Men and women can SAY that they like this and that and don't mind this, that or the other, but their ACTUAL BEHAVIOUR shows that they actually ACT differently (based on the dating site usage of about 30,000 on-line daters).

The headline results:

Men on on-line dating sites tend NOT to message: Women who are overweight, who have grey hair, secretaries, retired women, soldiers and policewomen.

But men don't have any objection to women who are skint/students/artists etc.

Women on on-line dating sites tend NOT to message: Students / actors / artists / unemployed / no-strings sex profiles / short men / red-haired men / curly-haired men / bald men (although apparently, they don't mind men with shaved heads - and no, I am NOT making this up).

Here's the bit you're asking about: Women also don't have any problem with men who are not in perfect shape. A man's body shape is NOT a major factor when women decide whether or not to mail them.

The most popular men are tall, with blonde or dark, straight hair or a shaved head, with a high income.

The most popular women are blonde, slim, good-looking, with a medium income.

The most important positive factors of all? Women must be good-looking and men must be wealthy.

These are general behaviour patterns, so yes, there are exceptions, but the vast majority of on-line dating men and women behave this way.

No way it nevers matters in my opinion, but then i guess ti depends on each individual. Just let your personality shine through and you'll be fine

Is that survey for real?!! I luuurrrvve red-haired and curly-haired guys, a bit of a belly and without even looking, I seem to instinctually pick on guys that are geared towards the arty! ie art/acting/landscaping etc

As to the original message... I'd be lying if I said 'nooo, you're not a big guy!', but I'd treat a larger guy much the same way I would a slimmer one. In fact, I'm more than likely to pass over a profile of someone thin than overweight. Maybe it's cos I'm a cuddly build myself, but I like a bit to grab a hold of

Looking back, most of the profiles I've liked where of men medium to stocky, with the rare slim one and a few more large guys.

Yo that's me totally buggered then!

Me i do like redheads but i offer no discrimination at all in my messaging pattern! with the exception of AGE! My eldest kid is 23 so i personally think it would be tacky if i stated a relationship with someone younger than say 30ish! The internet does offer peeps withastrong senseofignorance the chance to send disparaging messages! i know it may sound crass but i had one and after a few messages she was totally out oorder! I sent one back just as rude (wrong i know) and then blocked her! Jeez she set up another profile and started swamping me will abusive messages! Some people eh??????
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill!!!!

Men don't mind redheads, Eccles.

And Red, although you are an exception in that, you are perfectly normal in not minding men with a bit of beef.

Blimey reading that brings it home a bit dont it!!!

But as for the question about larger men, doesnt bother me in the slightest but maybe thats because I class myself as a larger woman and I know the perceived prejudices that come with that self enforced label.

The best policy on these sites is just be yourself, dont pretend to be something your not... and that goes for real life too!

For the record I was less likely to message someone if they didnt wear glasses

"as for the question about larger men, doesnt bother me in the slightest but maybe thats because I class myself as a larger woman"

Nope. It's just women on dating sites in general that think that way. Your reaction to men's weight, like Red's, is completely normal.

i have been with skinny guys and big guys, personally i like guys who are not so skinny as i feel a bit protected and i can snuggle comfortably into them BUT i like to get to know someone first and because of this i think i go for men who have personalities that shine thru, and hey, i have a fat ass and it hasnt done me any harm after all its the fat bottomed girls who make the world go round

i dont think it matters theres oads of people who are time wasters but then u find a few who are decent and go for the whole package warts and all

maybe we should start a where we are going and why we will miss it thread lol

we are way off topic ill get shot