I've decided to post this as I've seen/met/read/spoken to lots of people who are absolutely desperately looking for someone. And I think we've all been there at some point or another. Feeling the desperate need to be with someone. To have and to hold and so on...

I don't know if I posted this before, but I hope I didn't.

What is it with people anyway? Where oh bloody where does it say that you just HAVE to be part of a couple? Where? Where does it say that you're not normal if you're not? Where does it say that someone MUST kiss yer head goodnite?

We've spoken of the FLYING SOLO by choice thing before... Thing is though... We all know this desperation feeling, as I said. At one point or another we all feel it. Should we let it conquer us though? I think not.

I have discovered at some point that I tend to be clingy and try to please people that I really like out of being afraid not to lose them. And I have like 2098 friends who are the same. PMSL

I get like goosebumps when I read the bullshit rules on relationships. That's just sick. The rules are real, but it's just sick.

Love and relationships shouldn't be games. When you are to find someone to be close to you'll find them.

And if a relationship is changing you too much then maybe you should drop it...

And hey, maybe there's nothing wrong with being alone for a change. Sure it's nice to have someone great next to you (because if they're not great, you'd rather be alone anyway), but is it a need? Only if you let it be so...


I suppose this rant wasn't going anywhere, but I'm sooooooooo bloody tired with hearing about desperation and the "must have a gf/bf" subject...




Will get back to this subject a wee bit later.

Until then though... Worry nawt, when the time is right you will melt... As for the good things... They always end. Even if they do so only by death... So just prize the moment and SHUT THE **** up.
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So you're single, right?

Probably. Jus' like Carlsberg.
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So, cutting through the blue pop and crisps, what you're basically saying is that you shouldn't look for someone you should sit around and wait for them to materialse out of thin air? Thats a nice romantic notion, but for most people thats never going to happen.

You have to hunt it. Yes, hunt it. That might sound predatory, and it is. Relationships are a game. In fact most of life is a game. So leaving relationships entirely to chance is such an absurd notion that its frankly laughable. It might work in trashy romance novels and chick-flicks, but Mr or Mrs Right probably won't turn up on your doorstep and whisk you away.

It can happen. By virtue of the 6 billion souls doomed to sail on this rock it will. But it seldom happens. Just like meteorite strikes, scratchcards, lottery wins, cancer, a complete set of any one Kinder Egg toy, four-leaf clovers, double-yolk eggs and plane crashes; its all about the odds, and for the vast amount of single people the partner of their dreams isn't just about to come waltzing into their life without any prompting. Like everything else in life, if you want to find something you look. The Chinese said it best...

'Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time.'

If you're happy on your own thats great. I'm very proud of you. But don't assume that the people out there looking for someone are desperate. I'm guessing a lot can function on their own. I know I can. I'm happy, but for me personally I know I'm happier when I'm sharing my life with someone else.

Its good to be with someone. Its good to just follow your biological urges. If it wasn't good for us then we wouldn't be pre-programmed to do it. Intimacy is a fundamental need of any human being. Its deep-rooted in the psyche. If it weren't buried so deep in us and so enjoyable, we'd probably never bother and the human race would die out because we couldn't be fucked to procreate (no pun intended).

Deep down we all need it. We can all beat our chests in a futile gesture of individuality and say 'I want to be alone!', but sooner or later we crack. You can only delude yourself for so long. Sooner or later you're going to have to be proactive about the whole thing because while you're waiting the chances of you finding someone get less and less. Say you hold out for a decade; would you honestly be in any fit state for a relationship after so much time alone? I think not. Not after you've lived in your little bubble for so long.

So no, not everybody is desperate, most of it is frustration. People just need to get more realistic expectations and try Mr/Mrs Alright instead of Mr/Mrs Right. If it lasts it lasts, if it doesn't then its just a bit of fun and teaches you more about yourself in the long run. Which beats the shit out of a paying a therapist's bill.

I was discussing similar to this on another site on a thread about women being 'picky' and not wanting to accept second best, meaning they are willing to stay single until the meet 'Mr Right'. Also in a message with a women asking about my relationships.


Personally I have been single for most of my adult life without the need for a relationship, but now I am getting worried about being lonely in my old age, so I probably want a partner for totally selfish reasons

If I was going to be totally honest, not sure why people struggle to get into relationships, unless most people are 'picky'.

But I agree with a lot of what chikhai says.

Right, looks like everybody got me wrong so I'll just leave it at that. Hope my neurons aren't dying.
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Probably ours that are dying, not yours.

I got what you were saying, but was agreeing with the subsequent comments.

I just don't get this whole 'don't take it serious' attitude. How can you not take what is probably one of the most important aspects of your life seriously?

Its right up there with your health, your general well-being, your career and (if you're that way inclined) your spiritual welfare. To treat it in the same vein as buying a new pair of shoes or deciding what to have for lunch is doing yourself a great disservice.

How you handle it is down to you. Some people struggle and lack the self-awareness to avoid making complete bellends of themselves. Personally I put as much effort into it as I do every other avenue of my life, but have learned not to make a big song and dance over every success or failure.

Basically; take it seriously by all means, but don't be a drama queen about it.

hello everyone, i think i have to say something here coz am one of those desperate ppl who as i think was the reason for u bb to write this.

I've seen ur writings almost every where Bliss, and u seem a cute funny girl, and i respect ur point of view, however i dont agree with u at all.
Chikhai has mad it easy for me, i will just agree with what he said and add that even when we were in medical school we study the normal physiology and love and the need for a partner is natural and there, try it ..open a book of physiology and u will c the scintific proof that being in a relation is the normal asspect of living and the side effects of not fulfilling that need as much as we do with thirst, hunger, etc.

i understand that ur intentions to write what u have wrote is to support us and to give us a push ..in a hard way so we can go over it... i just wish that u dont really believe that being lonly is good, otherwise i would say u have never tried it..
did u ?
well am sure its nothing compared to me and so many ppl just like me, i spent 6 years abroad in one room with no one specially no
females because of that countrie's regulations, followed by another 3 years with nothing again trying ma qualifications here in the UK, and now 4 months am here,in a big house alone, with some friends who like to make fun because of it just like u , no gf, no family no nothing but this laptop. all this to become what i wanted to ...a doctor.
am not complaining here, am so glad that i am what i am but after all that time when i decided to start drinking and satisfy ma thirst....am shocked with the fact that i have missed alot and i dont know how to get something even a 13 year old boy might get it so easily is it ma fault??
so pls dont tell me its better to be alone...coz u know nothing about it honey...

I hope this is the last time I give into the urge of answering this post...

I never said it was better to be alone... I just said that if you're alone you shouldn't bloody kill yourself... I mean ffs. It's not like you come out of yer mamma's thing with a soul mate... Hello? If you were meant to be completely and utterly attached to someone, speaking of attachement... You'd already have them attached. We are social beings because we live in a society, not because we were born this way (yea, disagree )... There's far too much to speak of on this theme... And I'm not encouraging being in a couple nor being single, just to be completely clear. I'm just saying you shouldn't go mad if you're not in a couple as well as if you are in one. I mean really... REA LLY. Gosh...

FFS. MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr...

Oh and how do you know what I know anyway?
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