Time and time again in my life I have come across 'claiming' when it comes to dating.
A group of male mates meets some new females.
After an initial meeting, people in the group stake a claim on individuals in the other group, regardless of whether or not anybody has 'pulled'. Disregarding someone else's claim is seen as a betrayal.

I can see that sometimes it's about not hurting someone's feelings, but I've definitely witnessed situations where two people get on like a house on fire, a friend comes into the scene, declares a claim, and basically, that relationship can't happen.

From chatting to people about it, seems like girls do it too!
How annoying!
I suppose friendships are more important than meeting new people, but this does lead to a whole load of frustration!

'Claiming' what the hell is that all about ??????? why would a freind stop 2 people who get on like a house on fire not get together ???? .............

Sounds like everyone in the two groups need to go back to the primary school playground and learn how to be nice to each other.
I;ve never heard of this 'claiming' thing but it sounds like its probably only done by yoyos who haven't grown up yet.

pmsl .......... yes Rocketgirl quite a good explanation .........x

Seriously now, I've been thinking about this and it dont make sense.
Ok, a group of girls and a group of boys meet.

Sarah claims Tom,
Tom claims Mary
Mary claims Dave
Dave claims Sarah...............?!!!

I guess it has summat to do with the fact that each group no longer has an Alpha leader. Everyone is busy trying to assert him- or herself as the Alpha by staking a claim.

All very odd.

I've obviously been out of this game too long cause i don't understand it all!

If there are a group of people out and they meet another group and one of the girls got on with one of the guys then thats that, surely? Doesn't matter if someone else comes along and fancies the girl?? I don't get it..

More fool them what goes along with it, is what I say.........

Seen this attempted a few times. For me personally, if someone has staked a claim then thats just increased the likelihood that I'll try even harder. Friends or not, nobody dictates who I can pursue, especially if theres some genuine attraction there. marry that schoolyard behaviour.

Yes, I agree it is bloody stupid. However on occasion I have resisted 'trying it on' with a girl that one of my mates has really liked. Not that I got on like a house on fire with them, but stayed away because I knew my mate really liked them. Give them time to see if anything blossoms between them. My mates mean the world to me and if one of them really liked a lady and asked me to keep my distance I would. I wouldn't want to risk a friendship with a close mate over something that might never happen.

On the flip side, if it was a lady I really liked myself and a mate had mentioned something about her before then I would have a chat with him about it before I did anything. If you really like her as well and it's a proper mate, he would realise this and have no hard feelings.
_________________

Me too Kman!
I was briefed by my mates that I shouldn't fraternise with a certain person I had met because one of their housemates was nuts about her. Not wanting to alienate myself from my mates, I backed off. They ended up going out. He treated her like shit. Now she's pregnant and he's fecked off and moved to Spain. Great! If I was a better person, I would probably approach her, but being perfectly honest, as much as I like her, the thought of having a relationship with someone with kids (like the bloke in the BT ad) does put me off somewhat! (guilty of lacking maturity and having no interest in children!)
I'll be happy to ignore such briefings in the future at the expense of having friendships I suppose!
Another time, I met a group of girls. I really liked one of them, but one of the others decided to claim me to her mates. So they had to back off, and I'm left realising that the claim thing was a complete waste of time where nobody ends up satisfied!
As schoolyard as this may seem, perfectly intelligent people seem to do this. It almost seems like not claiming is a weak lack of assertion.

"It almost seems like not claiming is a weak lack of assertion".

Which is why I questioned the role of alpha in the group and all that jazz.
I mean, if these people (girls or boys) are *real* mates, and presumably respect one another, why the need to assert one's self in such an arrogant manner? Telling you that you can't 'claim' a girl, is basically telling you that you are not as important as Joe who wants to claim said girl....? As soon as you back down you are giving the clear message that you accept your lower place in the pecking order.
It makes no sense.
In any case, thats not 'assertion' - its aggression.

It would make more sense if they re-named it from 'claiming' to 'mine'.

Walking over, touching someone on the shoulder and screaming out 'MINE!!!!' in front of everyone is a much more transparent way of highlighting the pettiness involved.

Actually i quite like the idea of walking up to someone and shouting out MINE!!, or even better YOU"RE MINE!! lol
I must be well out of the dating game as i haven't heard of this sort of thing since i was about 18, when all the girls got together and eyed up all the talent and decided who was going for who. I really didn't think they still did it!!

To be honest I know what Samatron is talking about and yeah it does happen. Been guilty of it myself on occasion. Think its a bit of a respect thing but hey if it aint happening after the first couple of days then its not gonna happen. Theres either a spark or there isnt and as you get older I think you begin to realise it. Would deffo still make me back off if I thought one of my mates was into someone but if nothing happens after a wee while then I say go for it