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Home >> Dating >> Cheating partners
10.08.2007, 16:12 quote
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| Ah the typical.......It's ok when I cheat but how could they possibly cheat on ME! lol |
I never said it was ok when I cheated in the past - yes i didnt feel guilty at the time so much, but I was younger and stupid, and it cost me a relationship with someone i truly cared about, hence i no longer cheat. Been tempted a few times yes, but havent followed it through.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| Thats it basicly your angry and hurt that someone could possibly cheat on you! |
Umm, never denied that.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
This is one of those area's in life that people will lie to themselves in so many amusing ways. 
When you cheated on a girl it was like ah well I was drunk or I was going through a rough time everything and anything to justify your actions. But as soon as you find out you have been cheated on it's like WHAT???? How could she! What did I do to deserve this lol. |
I never justified my actions - the drunk example was because the one time that happened i regreted it because the girl i cheated with looked like one of the dancers from the Aphex Twin - Window Licker video
And because I was curious if that made it more acceptable to other peeps, especially with all the malarky now about "adequate consent to sexual intercouse" e.g. if you sleep with someone whos drunk you can be prosecuted for rape because they're not compus mentus.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| This post made me laugh because you started it with such casual approach like oh it doesnt really bother me so much but..........The fact that your thinking about it shows it does bother you and more than your saying here. |
Specifically I said im not bothered about the girl. yes it bothered me and made me angry, however I no longer care about the girl itself, i'm more bothered by the cheating.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| No matter what your moral standards quite frankly I see cheating as weak and selfish on so many levels. |
I agree, hence said instant gratification of the id - the subconcious. Its kinda like eating chocolate. You know its bad for you, moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips and all that. But you still eat chocolate.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| This is how I see it. Feel the need to cheat on your partner? Either sit down and talk with them about your problems or admit it's not working out and try acting like an adult and break up with them before doing something stupid. |
Its not exactly like you wake up in the morning and think "Hmm, i fancy having sex with someone different today." generally, it just happens, you go out with friends or something, one thing leads to another you end up having meaningless sex. Ok, its slightly different if your keeping a mistress alongside your partner, but thats something i personally have never done.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| Feel like when you have too many drinks you become a person who cant control your sexual desires then fucking drink less! |
Never been on a bender for any reason? If so, i applaud you. As i said above, i usually dont drink, however that one time i was drunk and cheated it was simply due to the nature of the night out. Yes, I agree, its not really an excuse, nor is it me attempting to make one, but its like sooo many things in life, different factors all compound to produce an end result.
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| Ok rant over I'm sure plenty of people will disagree with me here and in truth I would be shocked if you didn't because nobody wants to admit to being at fault we all want to brush things under the carpet and keep the pretense up that we are not responsible for our own actions. |
Meh, I agree with quite a lot of what you said in your rant, however feel like i should point out i never attempted to say i wasnt responsible for my actions, i was merely interested in other peoples view points. Yes, i've cheated on people in the past, yes thats bad, yes it was my fault - it wasnt like someone held a gun to my head.
However, I have since grown as a person and I believe im a better one today than I was five years ago. Will I cheat in the future? I'd like to say definatly not, however im enough of a realist to know that shit happens. So probably not then
_________________
Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized
10.08.2007, 16:27 quote
oooh, forgot to mention the original point of the post was:
I find it weird that im annoyed about being cheated on by someone considering i dont give a toss about the girl who cheated on me.
hence was asking for peoples opinions. Now if i'd been seeing this girl for a long time or i was in love with her then yeah, different story. But I wasn't and i hadn't been seeing her for long enough to form any kind of deep seated attachment.
oh, and just to stop anyone jumping down my throat about dating a girl i dont care about - i liked her yes, and there was a possibility for more to grow out of the relationship, but at the time it wouldn't have really bothered me if we'd just broken up. It was the fact that we were supposed to be in an exclusive relationship and she was off with some other guy that bothered me.
That help peeps?
_________________
Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized
10.08.2007, 16:39 quote
| cheekymunkey wrote: |
Bet your glad you got all that off your chest Krian  |
Well i was getting the impression that peoples opinion was "You cheated in the past, so your not aloud to be hurt by being cheated on."
Which i think is rubbish (in my humble opinion before anyone flames me for that comment) _________________
Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized
10.08.2007, 17:22 quote
| Krian wrote: | ||
Well i was getting the impression that peoples opinion was "You cheated in the past, so your not aloud to be hurt by being cheated on." Which i think is rubbish (in my humble opinion before anyone flames me for that comment) |
Ok lets clear this up quickly before you get anymore defensive the initial few points I made were based upon what you had told us. And I was obviously directing them at you. The rest and majority of my post was based on the topic at hand and me giving my opinion on the subject of cheating on a whole.
I'm sorry if you felt like I was having some sort of personal attack on you?
But on that note, I honestly cant be bothered running through your replies to my replies etc etc for starters your way on the defensive now and again trying to justify your actions. Which only tells me your feeling guilty about most of them to yourself and now this forum.
One quick one I'm simply taking this because I found it the most amusing of all............
You initially told us that you got so drunk that you cheated.
Well I found that to be total and utter shit but in truth I held back a little and tried to be diplomatic about it.
You then a Second time tried to justify the whole I was drunk crap and at the sametime tried to appeal to the masses like you want people to back you up? lol............"Never been on a bender for any reason?" you state that you know your wrong and that your not really making an excuse? Well yes actually you are and have been through every part of you posting under this thread.....
It's like saying I'm not really a liar because I only tell small lies?
Have I ever been on a bender? Yes matey I'm half irish, half greek and I live in london I have been so drunk and messed up at times that an ambulance has been called for me. And guess what I never once cheated on any girl I was seeing. And yes I did have the chances to. The whole drunk line is bullshit sorry..........
And from the start of all this you have been like: Yeah I admit I did wrong...........but not so wrong because blah blah blah!
Sorry suck it up man you make a post about your feelings based upon someone cheating on you and at the sametime tell everyone that you yourself have cheated on other women? Well great want me to give you a medal?
I mostly tried to avoid making it based only on what you said and more of a answering your topic thing but that seems to have blown up a little.
Bottom line is we are all only human I'm not trying to say you are scum of the earth or all infidels lol I was giving my opinion on a topic posted on a forum.........
Anyway Krian I guess we each have our opinions and I guess mine are pretty strong on this subject so I'm sorry if my over the top rant has offended you. And I will leave the topic alone now.
10.08.2007, 17:56 quote
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| And I will leave the topic alone now. |
Booo hisss.
_________________
10.08.2007, 19:01 quote
| GavTheMighty wrote: |
| Ok lets clear this up quickly before you get anymore defensive.
<snip> again trying to justify your actions. Which only tells me your feeling guilty about most of them to yourself and now this forum. <snip> One quick one I'm simply taking this because I found it the most amusing of all............ You initially told us that you got so drunk that you cheated. Well I found that to be total and utter shit but in truth I held back a little and tried to be diplomatic about it. <snip> Anyway Krian I guess we each have our opinions and I guess mine are pretty strong on this subject so I'm sorry if my over the top rant has offended you. And I will leave the topic alone now. |
First, not defensive
Sorry if ya got that impression but I was just replying to some of your points, a few of which i disagreed with, a few i agreed with.
Second, I never once tried to justify my actions.
Third, my feelings of guilt or lack thereof werent really the point of the initial post, hence the clarification posted about.
Fourth, re: the whole drunk thing, i never once said "I only cheated because i was drunk." which is the impression you seem to have gotten.
And finally, feel free to post in the topic, i dont get offended to easily - the whole point of my reply post was to clear up a few misconceptions on your part that you seem to have about me/my post.
Just so we're clear, not begging for sympathy, not feeling guilty, not feeling defensive or offended. I merely wrote the post because this is a new situation for me the whole being bothered by an act commited by someone i dont care about.
And how is what i posted an attempt at excusing myself? Yes, I cheated on partners in the past. Twice. Big woop. Why? Because I was out, horny and there were willing partners at the clubs i was at. So what? The only point on the drunk comment was because i have some standards and went waaaay below them when i was drunk. I think ya call it beer glasses
The only thing that bothers me about your posts is you seem to have taken a little bit of information and run a mile with it. In the wrong direction. I mentioned cheating in the past simply because i've been on the flip side of the coin, and for the first time I realised just how much emotional hurt it could cause someone else, that was all.
If I was the type to and wanted to brag, which ya seem to think im doing then there are far better places to do so than on a dating website. Its kinda like certain people saying "All women are stuck up bitches."
Anyhow, all i can figure is something in this post or another one of my posts has touched a nerve Gav, because for all your protestations that "I dont mean this to be a personal attack" it was. Yes, some of it was about the topic title, but the majority was a personal attack on me, couched in "oh this is my opinion..."
So please, next time you do wish to attack me, be honest about it, and take the time to fully read what ive said and try and make your attack at least a tad relevant, rather than your current diatribe of "Oh, your trying to justify doing something bad! Quick people, grab the brands and pitchforks!"
_________________
Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized
10.08.2007, 19:34 quote
well its best YOU all leave it ... unless u get off on arguing 
(lauras smiley) i've been wantn to use this rolly smiley eyes for ages xxx
10.08.2007, 19:40 quote
Aww, cheeky, does that mean im not allowed to play anymore? 
_________________
Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized
11.08.2007, 00:51 quote
What you read into matey and how you perceive it is none of my buisness. You can view it as some personal attack and we can also play word games all day long.
I dont know you and have nothing against you. And like I said no one is perfect we all make mistakes. I have read your post and the ones that followed under this thread a few times now and if you dont think or feel you have made any excuses at all then fair due.
Anyway matey the long and short of it is your obviously intelligent and it is fun to a degree discussing this with you. But my course has held true in all of this where I feel you have used word play to try and change the ebb and flow of the topic that suddenly became uncomfortable for you.
And I apologize if you think I had some hidden motive and wanted to take out lifes frustrations on you that wasnt my intent.
I wish you all the best in life.
13.08.2007, 11:40 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: |
| Oh, forgot somethin, one time I would definitely mind is if they'd do it with one of my friends. That's a total NO.
|
how's this, she jumped into bed with my two best mates, that's a headfuck right there. The three closest people to me all shit on me the same night. i'm still his best mate though, it took a few years mind
13.08.2007, 14:44 quote
That like totally sux. Which reminds me we are born and die alone. I learnt that the hard way too, not as hard as you though... 
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