Well, I gotta admit that in the past i've once or twice cheated on a partner - yes it was bad of me, but i also have to admit that it didnt really bother me at the time, instant gratification of the id and ego boosts and all that.

However pretty recently for the first time (for certain, had my suspicions about a few of my ex's) I found out that someone i'd been seeing had cheated on me.

If ya want the full gory details she'd gone off to a forum meet, and suddenly i was getting the silent treatment (which really really sucks btw) at first i was worried about her, did she get home ok? Had anything happened? Then i spotted some photos from this meet and saw a pic of her snogging another bloke.

Meh, anyway, obviously i was angry at first, now I just think shes a silly little bint and karma will eventually kick her backside for me, but even though i don't particularly care about her anymore I find myself strangely bothered by it. The whole self doubt kinda thing - was it me? Something i did? Something I said?

Which as i said is a bit strange considering that when I think of her all I feel is disdain and basically disgust Oooh, and happiness that i'm well out of it

So I was wondering ladies and gents, any of you been cheated on? How did you deal with it? Did it make ya feel the same? Or am i just weird?
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Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized

I have been cheated on twice.

The first case..he repeatedly cheated in my first relationship, and I cheated on him once, which ended our relationship.
I thought nothing of him cheating on me as I was 15/16....I don't know

The other one....I dumped him as soon as I found out he had cheated, and I was both angry and upset...and gutted. This was last year.

I don't give cheaters a second chance..don't have time for them, especially since I give 100% to my then partner, i'd expect the same back.


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Laura
xx

Confidence - Wear it like make up.

I don't recall someone cheating on me... I just dumped them all before they'd get to do that.

Seriously now... I gotta have my say on cheating...

The worst thing someone could do if they caught their lurved one cheating is going after the other person instead of their lurved one. Not that they should hustle their lurved one either.
If someone ever cheated on me I don't actually know if I'd mind. I'm quite an open minded person *maybe too open minded sometimes*.
I probably wouldn't mind if the other person was purely sexual attraction cause we all get that sometimes whilst in a relationship (I don't get it when I'm in lurve though). The one time I'd start to mind though is if the other person would be eating some of my time with my lurved one. If my lurved one wouldn't treat me the same as before and I'd feel the lurve growin cold, then I'd probably break the relationship.
Nd if anyone would ever cheat on me I'd probably ask myself where did it all went wrong.
Oh and I'd also like not to find out. As I was sayin... What doesn't get to me (in anyway - hearin or sensing it) doesn't screw me up.

As for me... I don't think I'd ever cheat. If I ever felt the need to cheat then it means somethin's wrong with my relationship so I either talk about it or break it. It's only fair.

Though all these break-ups can't be leadin to somethin good. PMSL.

That being said, I'm sure you're all gonna think my message is silly, but please read it carefully if you wanna reply it. I might've expressed myself badly again. Damn words and phrases.

Oh, forgot somethin, one time I would definitely mind is if they'd do it with one of my friends. That's a total NO.

Krian wrote:

In dundee a while ago I was in a pub with my GF and some guy was trying to chat her up. Long story cut very short i told him to eff off, he replied with some bollocks about hatin the game not the player, i replied with a size 12 to the bollocks...

Krian wrote:

if i walked in on my partner being with someone else i'd wanna hit someone damnit I think most guys (and probably most girls!) would agree with me on this one?

I most certainly hope not.

I agree with Laura, and anyway, if you select partners with a conscience (very attractive) you know they'll be more troubled by it than yourself.

Right, off to levitate.

Ive had both sides of the coin really, have been the cheater and that really sucks. I thought i would be ok and i would be able to live with the guilt but i couldnt and ended up telling him, much to his disgust.

Many months later when the incident was i thought forgotten karma bit me in the ass and the bloke i liked at the time cheated on me, feigned drunkness but it was with a barbie a like he'd had his eye on at work so i knew it was total crap. Karma really works and either way cheating is horrible for everyone involved.

tis 5 am in the morning and i cant sleep.

so i'll post.

cheating is, like an excess of certain drugs. bad.

if you think there is an excuse for cheating, you are a glutton for punishment.
if you are drunk while doing it - it does not excuse you, or get you a "get off the hook free" card. do not pass go. do not collect sympathy.

if you catch your better half cheating, the heat of the moment almost instantaneously translates that your murderize the opposition - however - some people react differently.

a younger shiraz was cheated upon by a girl, he fell for her charms and she made him fall down on the ground and be outnumbered 4 to 1. the motivations for cheating are many and at that point all i felt was blind and more or less justified anger .

given a few days i realised that i had been the fool for not recognizing how she was behaving and what she was doing.

then i went on to do the most insane thing - i got angry at everything. an extreme reaction, but it does happen. after a week or so of shunning the world i realised what i was really doing was the worst thing i could do.

you dont need to be like that. so i forgave and forgot.
before you guys start to sing hymns, plant halo's and generally act like sarcastic bastards - let me say i'm no saint. during the time i was hating the world i made many many silly and outright stupid mistakes to which i have a degree of regret

the answer to the question of how you deal is irrelevant because none of us would hold a grudge in the long run. we would ultimately say, its alright and we are okay with it

far wiser men before me have said that anger is a momentary form of madness, a flash in the proverbial pan. the question really is : how long can you stay mad at someone who's cheated on you?

Ah the typical.......It's ok when I cheat but how could they possibly cheat on ME! lol

Thats it basicly your angry and hurt that someone could possibly cheat on you!

This is one of those area's in life that people will lie to themselves in so many amusing ways.

When you cheated on a girl it was like ah well I was drunk or I was going through a rough time everything and anything to justify your actions. But as soon as you find out you have been cheated on it's like WHAT???? How could she! What did I do to deserve this lol.

What a funny planet we live on.

This post made me laugh because you started it with such casual approach like oh it doesnt really bother me so much but..........The fact that your thinking about it shows it does bother you and more than your saying here.

At a basic level we are all the same our own self belief and arrogance is awesome in it's power. We can somehow for example shrug off cheating on someone as a whim or a moment of weakness and move on or with others they feel that confession is all they need.

No matter what your moral standards quite frankly I see cheating as weak and selfish on so many levels. It's almost something akin to having a childs mentality. Think about all the excuses any of you in the past have given yourself for cheating. I needed love. (child) I felt my partner wasnt giving me attention or he/she didnt find me attractive. (child). I got drunk and made a mistake! (child)

This is how I see it. Feel the need to cheat on your partner? Either sit down and talk with them about your problems or admit it's not working out and try acting like an adult and break up with them before doing something stupid.

Feel like when you have too many drinks you become a person who cant control your sexual desires then fucking drink less!

Feel like your sex life has gone downhill or simply dont feel attractive anymore? Talk to your partner explain how you feel or simply do something that makes you feel alive. Go have sex somewhere exciting, buy some sexy clothes. be romantic.

I could go on and on here but I dont buy any excuses here or anywhere for this bullshit.

And I'm sorry but to further my rant these people in this day and age that have the "fresh" Liberated views on how its ok to have sex so long as they always come back to me etc etc oh my fucking god are you kidding me?????

I think its fine if your in a casual relationship where both of you know its all just about the sex and so you can see other people etc and you BOTH know this but even then I have a hard time understanding you people lol.

But a couple that have been together for years and love eachother etc telling me it's ok if either of us goes off and fucks someone else now and then so long as we always end up back in eachothers arms??? Seriously fuck off you have more issues than hitler did!

I'm only 31 years old and yet even I can see how dangerous this sexually liberated society has become. There are so many lines being pushed beyond sight now its scary. A lot of you might view this as me being some old fashioned prude? Maybe I am who knows?

More than anything I have ranted about above my main concern is how people have such a lack of morals or simply how people dont take responsibility for their own actions! (And in an Adult way).

Ok rant over I'm sure plenty of people will disagree with me here and in truth I would be shocked if you didn't because nobody wants to admit to being at fault we all want to brush things under the carpet and keep the pretense up that we are not responsible for our own actions.

Actually i totally agree with the points you make. When i did it i was young and stupid but it helped me to learn and now i'd never do anything like that ever and see it as a horrible act for someone to do. You made really valid points without attacking people, just people's self obsessed attitudes about the fact that its ok to do it really.

Don't have much to add, but great rant by GtM there, and totally agree with it.
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