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Home >> Dating >> chatting women up. how?
13.05.2007, 01:31 quote
| Cazzabee wrote: |
| Well said Baz. Thats pretty spot on |
yes, having actually read it (I kept a list of piss-takes while reading as an aid to stamina which I'm not sure at this moment I'm willing to share) I have to agree with Cazzy only from a blokey perspective. Yep dude that monologue seemed to have a lot of sence in it! Pretty much all common sence really but its not such a bad thing to have it pointed out now and then!
Top marks dude
13.05.2007, 12:17 quote
In all basics-just be yourself! I dont exude much confidence but I have found that just being myself gets me to know and talk to the good people. Failing that just have millions of pounds and a sh1t hot car!
13.05.2007, 12:24 quote
Orrr you could just say
' Hi my names lala how are u?, i throught i would come over and have a chat, (my mates are boring me)' he he
If she frowns pull her friend instead ! There hehehe
13.05.2007, 15:21 quote
| Orbazm wrote: |
| Ok, having spent several hours over several weeks over several months trying to get my shy younger brother to approach girls (and succeeding) i'll offer my humble advice.
Please bear in mind that no matter how you approach women, THERE IS NO SECRET TACTIC OR STYLE OR NATURAL APPROACH THAT WORKS EVERYTIME. There are a million variables to think about when it comes to success or failure with "chatting up" a woman. So. 1stly... The most important thing to remember about AAAANY woman, albeit super-model stunning or plain jane, is simple.. she is a person. She is not a towering, impenatrable beast who will eat you if you say hello. Yes, you will get knock backs but as I said before it could be for one of a million different reasons why. So. With that in mind you must must MUST look at her as "no big deal". Maybe that's not the right phrase to use, just think of her as a person you are going to talk to. That's it. Don't get hung up about how sexy she looks. It doesn't mean act like gods-gift and it's not you being arrogant, its purely a psychological tool to help you stay calm in the face of "piss-your-pants" nervousness. Try not to think too much about how stunning she is, how great she smells, how good she dresses. Don't tell yourself she has amazing eyes, or a great body. You already know that that's why you're approaching her. Because when you're doing that while you make your approach you get more nervous with each step. In my opinion, I think it's essential that you try and build a small mental wall to attraction. You see some one you think is gorgeous. That's great, but if you can't put it to the back of your mind when you approach her you'll stammer, stutter and lose your composure and she'll think you're a weirdo. Thats not to say you cant compliment and infact it's important AT SOME STAGE that you do pay her a compliment, just don't make it the very 1st thing that comes out of your mouth when you approach her because then all you are saying to her is "Hi, I'm not interested in who you are, I just want a shag". But yes at some point pay her a SUBTLE compliment, Else you'll end up a friend at best. DO. NOT. USE. CHAT UP LINES. NONE OF THEM. They will work for you 1 in 1000 times if you are lucky. DO. NOT. USE. TYPICAL 1st liners. "You come here often?". "Are you with anyone?". "Nice weather we're having". Women are not stupid, you spout one of these at her and immidiately she thinks "oh god... he's going to try and chat me up...and do rubbish". Just be normal. Normal? Like you're talking to a friend. That way you keep yourself calm in your expression, your tone and your body language. Your head is also clear to LISTEN TO WHATEVER SHE IS SAYING TO YOU, and with that...you can make an actual reply and whaddya know? You're having an actual conversation with her. We all know its a common fact that women seek mental stimulation far more than men (in the majority). So get her to talk about herself and LISTEN. Oh and it's also a good idea to talk about yourself too, if you want her to find you attractive you'll need to show some personality. Just ease it naturally even the convo. NO FOOTBALL. NO TALK OF POSSESSIONS. NO TALK OF EX GIRLFRIENDS or ANY other women for that matter... and NEVER put yourself down even if you're just taking the mick out of yourself. It comes across as having low self-esteem and no confidence. Or worse, fishing for compliments. None of which women EVER find attractive. With my younger brother, one of the traits I noticed about him was he was always in his head trying to be ready with the next thing he was going to say. Big no no. Conversations are not rehearsed. So make yourself natural. His other bad habit was trying to play it too cool. Alot of guys are bad for this... they'll lean on something and glance around the room when they talk. In their head they are thinking "I'm relaxed, I'm looking cool and calm here". WRONG. To a woman, you look like you are bored and are already looking for another girl. MAINTAIN. EYE. CONTACT. Don't stare wildly like a psycho, just look at her when she talks and look at her when you respond. You must make her believe that in a room full of 100 scantily-clad women that she is the only thing in the whole world that you are interested in right now. Avoid predictability as much and as best you can. Offering to buy her a drink is FINE, it's a common thing to do and girls are used to it as an easy and friendly way of approaching her. But it would be a good idea to atleast introduce yourself and ask her her name 1ST. But sometimes a girl likes to be surprised and challenged. Again it goes back to mental stimulation. Intrigue, Mysteriousness. How many guys try and get a kiss on 1st meet? Or impose themselves by forcing a drink on a girl and expecting a phone number in seconds? too many. Try to be original but stay genuine, it makes a girl curious. You don't HAVE to approach her straight away, take your time, give her space. But keep a subtle tab on where she is so some other guy doesn't beat you to the punch. She very well may not come up to you so don't wait on her to and end up empty-handed, but 9 times out of 10 she'll be pleased to see you if later that night you surprise her with a hello. It's refreshing and if she's had a particularly bad night with drooling drunk twats then it cheers her up too. Anyway, I'll shut up now because people probably stopped reading this after paragraph 1 or more likely than not I've just confused you even more than before you started. Lol. If you read all of this though....you're a trooper, and I hope atleast a portion of it helps. |
Baz, i like it. Lots of gud tips.
I don't think i'll have to worry about what she looks like...considering that i'm blind now. (my fault..should hav printed it off!!)
13.05.2007, 15:23 quote
| HateOrLuvvMe wrote: |
| Orrr you could just say
' Hi my names lala how are u?, i throught i would come over and have a chat, (my mates are boring me)' he he If she frowns pull her friend instead ! There hehehe |
ok. i tried that. she started laughing, then went over to her mates and sed "oh my God, that guy's called "lala" ." & then they all started laughing..
13.05.2007, 16:29 quote
I prefered it at high school when you just pinged the girls bra if you liked her.
13.05.2007, 19:38 quote
Hahaha. yesh i know it was ridiculously long and most of it really is common sense. But that's the point. Common sense often goes out of the window when guys are bricking it in front of a girl.
I'm glad people read it though. I'll pay for any eye-damage recovery needed 
Cheers guys
_________________
Nothing in this life worth having is ever easy to get.
13.05.2007, 19:42 quote
| HateOrLuvvMe wrote: |
| Orrr you could just say
' Hi my names lala how are u?, i throught i would come over and have a chat, (my mates are boring me)' he he If she frowns pull her friend instead ! There hehehe |
Oh I'm sure I could leave my friends to say hello to you.
_________________
Nothing in this life worth having is ever easy to get.
13.05.2007, 19:50 quote
| MrGoodCat wrote: |
| I prefered it at high school when you just pinged the girls bra if you liked her. |
I can honestly say, I never did that.
14.05.2007, 14:23 quote
If you ask me that post from Baz was a bit long winded.....there isnt much to it really....just smile & be yourself & if its meant to happen it will happen....if it doesnt happen naturally then its not really worth it in my book.
If you have to think about it as much as Baz implies, & follow these strict guidelines then you are not really being yourself, why fake it? If she likes you she likes you & if she doesnt she doesnt.......move on to the next one...plenty more fish & all that!!!!
The most important thing is to keep smiling & laughing!!! Nobody is attracted to misery!!!! 
14.05.2007, 14:30 quote
| GOLDenTiGER wrote: | ||
ok. i tried that. she started laughing, then went over to her mates and sed "oh my God, that guy's called "lala" ." & then they all started laughing.. |
pmsl
14.05.2007, 14:42 quote
I think any body who is out with a group of friends is intimidating whether you female or male.
SoO if you like a girl distance your self from that group so she has the oppertunity to come up to you with out an audience!
Keep the eye contact then make your move go up to her introduce you self and wait for a reaction don't over talk or under talk
If shes that hard to talk to iss she really worth it nothing worse then moodie bums or hard cookies
Just don't scratch your balls or talk to her nipples she may think you need a leach ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa
14.05.2007, 14:43 quote
| Orbazm wrote: |
| Hey I'm wired and I like to help my fellow man.
Lemme alone fuckers ;p |
I'd love to be as optimistic as you Orbazm. Good advice but easier said than done. I'm not scared to talk to women (much), just scared I won't meet their expectations - which is usually pretty high.
14.05.2007, 14:46 quote
In any case, a pub/club is no way to meet anyone these days. That is why sites like this are more and more popular. Girls that you meet in some seedy bar are usually sluts or heartbreakers. Join a club or something, a past-time, then you'll meet the 'right' sort for you and conversation should be easier as you are both in your 'club' for the same interests. LOL ..... maybe I should take myself up on that advice.
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