hey this is the first time using the forum

i'm constantly in pubs/clubs and go over and try to chat to women but none of them appear to be interested. what do women wantto hear when they get chatted up? is it a cheesy chat up line, or comments how nice they look or is it something else?

any help would be much appreciated

hm its hard to know really, try get their attention maybe before you go over, see do they look at u and smile if u get that then id say they might be interested
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If I knew that, or was brave enough to do it, I wouldn't be here.

As MsIbiza says, do the eye contact/smile thing & if you get a response then go & have a chat. Cheesy can be good, but probably not too much. I suppose it depends on who you are talking too! If you're in a pub/club asking if they want a drink is usually a good conversation starter (check out what they are drinking beforehand).

maybe make a comment about what there wearing, but dont pick the obv, like nice top as she will think your checking out her rack

I’ve found that women don’t really go for chat up lines these days. Just listen to what they have to say and show a genuine interest in it and that goes a long way, …more than any cheesy line

I agree ... I hate chat up lines ... theyre sooooooooooo cheesy

Ok, having spent several hours over several weeks over several months trying to get my shy younger brother to approach girls (and succeeding) i'll offer my humble advice.

Please bear in mind that no matter how you approach women, THERE IS NO SECRET TACTIC OR STYLE OR NATURAL APPROACH THAT WORKS EVERYTIME.

There are a million variables to think about when it comes to success or failure with "chatting up" a woman.


So. 1stly...

The most important thing to remember about AAAANY woman, albeit super-model stunning or plain jane, is simple.. she is a person.

She is not a towering, impenatrable beast who will eat you if you say hello. Yes, you will get knock backs but as I said before it could be for one of a million different reasons why.

So. With that in mind you must must MUST look at her as "no big deal". Maybe that's not the right phrase to use, just think of her as a person you are going to talk to. That's it. Don't get hung up about how sexy she looks. It doesn't mean act like gods-gift and it's not you being arrogant, its purely a psychological tool to help you stay calm in the face of "piss-your-pants" nervousness.

Try not to think too much about how stunning she is, how great she smells, how good she dresses. Don't tell yourself she has amazing eyes, or a great body. You already know that that's why you're approaching her. Because when you're doing that while you make your approach you get more nervous with each step.

In my opinion, I think it's essential that you try and build a small mental wall to attraction. You see some one you think is gorgeous. That's great, but if you can't put it to the back of your mind when you approach her you'll stammer, stutter and lose your composure and she'll think you're a weirdo.

Thats not to say you cant compliment and infact it's important AT SOME STAGE that you do pay her a compliment, just don't make it the very 1st thing that comes out of your mouth when you approach her because then all you are saying to her is "Hi, I'm not interested in who you are, I just want a shag". But yes at some point pay her a SUBTLE compliment, Else you'll end up a friend at best.

DO. NOT. USE. CHAT UP LINES. NONE OF THEM. They will work for you 1 in 1000 times if you are lucky.

DO. NOT. USE. TYPICAL 1st liners. "You come here often?". "Are you with anyone?". "Nice weather we're having".

Women are not stupid, you spout one of these at her and immidiately she thinks "oh god... he's going to try and chat me up...and do rubbish".

Just be normal. Normal? Like you're talking to a friend. That way you keep yourself calm in your expression, your tone and your body language. Your head is also clear to LISTEN TO WHATEVER SHE IS SAYING TO YOU, and with that...you can make an actual reply and whaddya know? You're having an actual conversation with her.

We all know its a common fact that women seek mental stimulation far more than men (in the majority). So get her to talk about herself and LISTEN. Oh and it's also a good idea to talk about yourself too, if you want her to find you attractive you'll need to show some personality. Just ease it naturally into the convo. NO FOOTBALL. NO TALK OF POSSESSIONS. NO TALK OF EX GIRLFRIENDS or ANY other women for that matter...

and NEVER put yourself down even if you're just taking the mick out of yourself. It comes across as having low self-esteem and no confidence. Or worse, fishing for compliments. None of which women EVER find attractive.

With my younger brother, one of the traits I noticed about him was he was always in his head trying to be ready with the next thing he was going to say. Big no no. Conversations are not rehearsed. So make yourself natural.

His other bad habit was trying to play it too cool. Alot of guys are bad for this... they'll lean on something and glance around the room when they talk. In their head they are thinking "I'm relaxed, I'm looking cool and calm here".

WRONG. To a woman, you look like you are bored and are already looking for another girl. MAINTAIN. EYE. CONTACT. Don't stare wildly like a psycho, just look at her when she talks and look at her when you respond. You must make her believe that in a room full of 100 scantily-clad women that she is the only thing in the whole world that you are interested in right now.

Avoid predictability as much and as best you can. Offering to buy her a drink is FINE, it's a common thing to do and girls are used to it as an easy and friendly way of approaching her. But it would be a good idea to atleast introduce yourself and ask her her name 1ST.

But sometimes a girl likes to be surprised and challenged. Again it goes back to mental stimulation. Intrigue, Mysteriousness.

How many guys try and get a kiss on 1st meet? Or impose themselves by forcing a drink on a girl and expecting a phone number in seconds?

too many.

Try to be original but stay genuine, it makes a girl curious. You don't HAVE to approach her straight away, take your time, give her space. But keep a subtle tab on where she is so some other guy doesn't beat you to the punch.

She very well may not come up to you so don't wait on her to and end up empty-handed, but 9 times out of 10 she'll be pleased to see you if later that night you surprise her with a hello.

It's refreshing and if she's had a particularly bad night with drooling drunk twats then it cheers her up too.

Anyway,

I'll shut up now because people probably stopped reading this after paragraph 1 or more likely than not I've just confused you even more than before you started. Lol.

If you read all of this though....you're a trooper, and I hope atleast a portion of it helps.
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Nothing in this life worth having is ever easy to get.

"awrite sweet cheeks-fancy a wee bit"-Nah Im kidding! I keep it simple-if I like a girl and she looks back, I just walk over- a cheeky wee hello, how has your day been and would you like a drink-no tricks or cheezy lines then its a good wee natter about something in the news or recent events (being very very careful in choosing things to talk about in the news!!).
Have found that most girls will know if your genuine if you do it this way.

anyone else got red eyes lol

Hey I'm wired and I like to help my fellow man.


Lemme alone fuckers ;p
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Nothing in this life worth having is ever easy to get.