Hi folks, first time so be gentle.

I've always been a "nice" sort of bloke. Although i live in a small city (Hereford), my parents were brought up on small farms and as a result, i'm possibly a bit "weird" and "old fashioned" because i have strong views on today's sleep around society. For me, a girl that has slept around is very unattractive. I realise that i'm not going to meet a virgin but at the same time i don't want the village bike. All i ever wanted was a girl with respect, someone that i could trust 100%, someone i loved being with, someone i missed when we were apart, someone i could kiss and cuddle and hold hands with, someone i felt totally comfortable with, someone i couldn't keep my hands off. I guess that's the crazy lil' thing called love.

It's nearly 2 years since i split up with my last girlfriend and she dumped me for being "too nice". I was devastated. I'd treated her like a princess for 18 months and was always there when she needed me. I treated her to romantic meals at least once a week, often 2 or 3 times, weekends in Dublin, 14 days in Rhodes plus a whole list of "day trips" when i saw her at the weekends. Everything seemed great.

Then she started bitching. I hadn't unfolded the curtains correctly. I hadn't put the loo roll on the holder the correct way round. When i dried the teaspoons, i put them in the drawer the wrong way up. Most annoying of all: "we don't go out much", despite rarely being at home!? There were 100's of petty little things like this. She'd had 2 previous long term relationships 5yrs+ and both of those cheated on her multiple times, yet she stayed with them. I never have, and never will, cheat on a partner, yet she had less respect for me than her ex's.

As for internet dating, i'm not keen on starting a long distance relationship and it seems that a lot of girls are here for sexual encounters and nothing more. I work crappy 12hr shifts so get 3 days a week off but they're rarely on a weekend and i never seem to meet many people other than work colleagues. I do have a rather attractive admirer at work, however she's in a long term relationship and i'm steering well clear for that reason. That kinda leaves me on the shelf. Any takers? lol

nice can be scary for ppl when u are not use to IT. X

Yes we can be Too nice, And those who are too Nice get chewed up and spat out.

I was once dumped for being too nice. I'd have done absolutely anything for anyone at that time, was very naive and open to exploitation. The problem was that in the immediate aftermath, I then went into a couple of relationships where I really wasn't very nice at all. I suppose its a case of finding a balance that both partners are happy with, and its largely going to be shaped by previous experiences

Don't get me wrong, i'm certainly not sickly nice. I won't take any arsing about and i speak my mind but to be fair, i'll hold back until i'm absolutely sure i'm not wrong. Trouble is, i've found that a lot of people don't like it when told the truth - i guess the old saying "the truth hurts" wasn't far wrong. Personally i avoid arguments as i'd rather be laughing than arguing but i get the feeling that most women love a good old barny once in a while. Thinking back, my ex was like that but when she started moaning i'd either laugh or say something like "whatever". I'm quite good at ignoring someone who's having a whinge.

At the end of the day, i'm not a "bad boy" but that's what women seem to like. Not to worry, i have my pc, a good selection of fishing tackle and 2 warm hands. I've managed 2yrs without a woman so the bachelor's life is looking highly likely...

Some women certainly do seem to want the 'bad boys', but ultimately it will be their loss as they career into a relationship characterised by misery - ultimately if that is not the type of person you are, if you go into a relationship not acting as yourself, its doomed to failure. Then when you do find someone (as you inevitably will), there is at least a good foundation for it to work

Well i agree when your too nice you land up being abused! its happened to me so often i've given up!!!!! i'm not fussed about someones past history as long as they don't do it to me because they get shown the door!!!! i am beginning to feel that there are a lot of females on here who are purely seeking casual encounters, which is fine but a guy seeking the same gets shot down!!! Those that aren't seeking the casual bit well there seems to be a lot of time wasters and some with a lot of baggage!!!! I am going to say that some of the girls who are on the forums are regular honest and straight with you!!! which is why i still say that a dating site based on a forum format would probably go down a treat!!!!
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill!!!!

A lot of truth in that Eccles. I get my share of interest on here and several other sites, however i'm not keen on meeting someone straight away. In fact, i intend chatting for several months to build up a relationship and if they're still interested at the end of it, i'll consider meeting them. Trouble is i never get THAT far because the good time girls want to meet as soon as possible and anything longer than a week, they're gone hunting elsewhere.

Also out of my favour is that i'm quite fussy really. I'm no adonis but i have my preferences, as does everyone else. I have a lot of patience so don't mind doing my own thing while she's looking for me...

Well i certainly dont count myself as being in the Tom Cruise class either but its what is in the heart that counts!!!! there is no point in trying to be a bad boy just to please the whim of a fickle female!!! but then is there a point in being treated as a doormat!!!! i agree with you regarding the chatting although distance could prove to be a deciding factor!!!! Never knock out a good chance let your heart and emotions rule a bit! if it feels good and you both feel good about meeting you can discuss it fully and plan for a perfect date!!!!! Me i think im a bit to long in the tooth now and im getting a bit jaded with watching my counter click round with no messages
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill!!!!

Too nice?

It's complete and utter bullshit.
You can never be too nice, IMO.

Dont you believe it Laura!!!! had it all my life!! im well mannered etc romantic and ive lost count of the number of times ive lost out because of it
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill!!!!

Yes you can be too nice! However, everyone is different.

Some guys are absolute w***** who abuse whether physically or mentally. Some are like you and are just 'nice.'
Alot has to do with your background of course but a personality is hard to change.

Girls on the whole I think want the balance. A Bit naughty & cheeky but a decent & polite guy at the same time.

Nice is boring!

I'm speaking for myself but probably many girls feel the same.. We like a challange, to be kept on our toes. We want excitement, spontanaity and not anything too cheesy & predictable! I would hate to be cheated on but being a little jealous & worried is what keeps you on your toes!
Girls want a guy that she know loves her but one that she know's could also live quite easily without her too.

You need that excitement that they could go off anytime but hopefully of course never will.

Be a little mysterious, keep your cards close to your chest sometimes - don't suffocate someone with love they'll not be able to breathe! Be nice & naughty, that doesn't mean playing away just look like you can have a good time without her!

You'll be ok I'm sure. Good luck!

Look at the post above you Laura!!! and to that person just because we are nice it doesnt mean to say we are boring!!!!! im often told im great fun and that i have a naughty streak too!!!!! So should us guys trat you mean to keep you keen?????? I dont think so!!!! so you dont like spontaneous prezzies???? a little surprise now and then? you dont like manners!!! Jeez whats the word coming to if the art of being a gentleman is being killed off?????
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This guy is liscensed to chill, and thrill!!!!

Well Laura, explain why there has to be something wrong with someone who doesn't like 'nice'? Sweeping statement is that not?

You sound pretty bitter....Not much luck with 'nice' guys then?

You should sort out a date with the nice guys who are chatting with you - you're obviously all well matched and you can all be 'nice' together.....


You wanna post a comment like that and you'll hear the truth...