Dating >> Bro's versus Ho's

baggiebhoy

Ok, fun title, but there is an actual serious discussion here. I'm just wondering what everybody views are as to balancing mates with relationships.

I think that if your friends mean anything to you, you should be able to make time for them. Realtionships naturally mean you spend less time with friends, nobody would dispute that (unless they are a liar or fantasist).

One of my mates is a prime example. He entered a relationship over a year ago, and I have seen him maybe 5 times since. Each time, he has described me as his best friend, and said we should go for a drink and catch up, but each time he immediatly goes back into hiding, ignoring texts from not just me but our other mates as well. He is with her practially every second of every day, and has forsaken everybody for her.

I'm not jealous or angry, I just don't understand it. Surely you can balance mates with relationships? Even if its just once a month or something, and the partner comes with them?

Thoughts?
_________________
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=559288470
http://www.myspace.com/baggiebhoy

moose666

Yeah it's really annoying when a mate suddenly disappears and starts ignoring his mates in favour of a woman. I don't think it is necessary, as you say there can be a balance.. what happened to lads night out on Friday nights or whatever. I think a bloke who just disappears and rarely sees his mates any more is sadly very much suffering from being "under the thumb." Glad I'm not like that, I always make time for my mates.
_________________
We march to drums of our own choosing;
each of them keeps different time.
As you are free to live your own life -
so I am free to live mine.

moose666

romanogypsy32

Moose has sumed it up Baggy.

megalone

I 'gave up' everything I ever knew for my ex.
I can't really complain about it cos it was just as much my choice as anyone else's. My only problem was that when we finished, the only friends I had left were the ones who lived on the same estate as me. (So I lost touch with them too).
I think that friends should be valued just as much as your partner, they form a meaningful part of your life, even though as I have just said above, I didn't listen to my own advice there did I? Confused

I regret losing contact with my old mates really, and I would feel like a right cunt if I just turned up on their doorstep after like 12 years......
_________________
Trust me, I'm an angel.......

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=573059222

http://www.myspace.com/m4ckys

moose666

TAKE IT AWAY COCK SPARRER

Well I heard you told her that you loved her
And you whisper sweet nothings in her ear
And I heard you're planning a wedding
With vol-au-vents, speeches and beer
Don't you know you're under the thumb, boy
You're acting like a lovesick slob
Don't you care you'll lose all your mates
For a wife, mortgage and a job

And it's obvious to everyone but you

You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
How long can freedom last,
When you got bird trouble, and you're sinking fast

She tells you what to do and where to go
She tells you what to say and what to wear
And when we're on boys' night out
You're gone for hours on the phone to her
It's embarrassing to see you crawl
When you used to be the number one face
I'm telling you this as a friend
You've turned into a basket case

And it's obvious to everyone but you

You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
How long can freedom last,
When you got bird trouble, and you're sinking fast

You're much to young for this
Cause youth disappears too soon
Is it a rumor that the baby’s due in June

And it's obvious to everyone but you

You'll be working every hour of the day
Every day of the week of the year
And if we ever go out (which won't be often)
It'll be me that's always buying the beers
She'll be gone round her mother's house for hours
Or talking to her mates on the phone
You'll be the one who's left at home with the baby
Wondering where it all went wrong

And it's obvious to everyone but you

You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
You got, you got, you know what, bird trouble
How long can freedom last,
When you got bird trouble, and you're sinking fast

YEAH
_________________
We march to drums of our own choosing;
each of them keeps different time.
As you are free to live your own life -
so I am free to live mine.

baggiebhoy

Ok, thats...erm...that Laughing

But what about the womens opinions on this? Is it a case of 'me or them' with you ladies?
_________________
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=559288470
http://www.myspace.com/baggiebhoy

katie6

i have also lost lots of close mates when theyve got long term bf's its like they cant be botherd with you anymore, my best friend said that she would always have time for her mates when she got in a relationship but she also slowly fased me out and her personality changed when she was with them but now like 2 years later she recently split up with them and we are starting to get back to the way we where.

when i am going out with someone i always try to have time with my mates because i wouldnt want to split up with them and be left with no one
_________________

jeggae · Guest

Its the story of my life. One of them anyway.

Funny thing is, when they get blown out they will be phoning you up all the time wanting to go out, on the rebound. Its probably called being used.
You get used to it after a while.

Bliss23

Ha... This sux... But good song, Mussy.

I think I might've fecked everything up with another topic, but I don't think it was the same thing... I still believe time with your friends should be time with your friends... I mean it's really stupid (at least for me) when you get with someone and start bringing them over to every single meet with yer friends... That's even worse than not contacting them at all. I mean... I've been friends with you for like 15 years... You spend like 6 days a week with your boyfriend... Can't you bloody take those two hours we get together every four days to make them ours and only ours? Do you have to bring them along for that too?
And again... it's not that I've got something against someone's boyfriend... It's just a question of me and my friend... Not me, my friend, and some stranger they decided to be great for them. Rolling Eyes

Am I vicious? I KNOW I AM. Twisted Evil

And no, I don't agree things should change after your friends (OR yourself for that matter) find someone... When I picked a friend... I picked you, not you and all your acquaintances. As a friend of mine would put it "Am I do clear?"

As for the worst thing that's happened between me and my best friend isn't even her boyfriend... Nowadays we see eachother rarely because sometimes we just don't feel like seeing eachother at all... So (even if the boy isn't around) we'd rather spend time on our own than seeing eachother.
_________________

baggiebhoy

See this is where I would differ from Bliss...I don't mind being a third wheel, I've done it enough in my life. I wouldn't mind meeting my mates girlfriends/boyfriends, or hanging out with them (as long as I knew prior to it happening), because it would still be time with my mates.
_________________
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=559288470
http://www.myspace.com/baggiebhoy

Bliss23

shirazkhan

Dont know the feeling.

I tend to become friends with the significant others of my friends. Also, i've had the pleasure of meeting certain people in my life who could stay years apart and then come back as if no time had passed.

Sure the whole "oh, NOW you fucking crawl back" piss take must be done, but it's just that - a piss take.

susiexxx

I don't have many close friends, but who I thought was a friend entered a new relationship about a year ago..and yeah she's completely wiped me out of her life, I'm not sure if it's because she is too engrossed in the 'newness' of this relationship..or...the fact he doesn't like me..apparently he feels threatened by me..loser lol..but yeah I am totally shocked that who I thought would be a friend forever..now can't even pick up the phone once in a while or even text me.. Sad

_________________

jeggae · Guest