I'm new here but I'm getting the hang of how things work on the online dating scene rapidly. Not that I'm an expert (far from it) but having read around and seen the results of my own mistakes (and others) I can offer some advice and maybe some of you can chip in as well.

This thread has probably been done to death a 1000 times but what the heck sue me I'm new and can't be a**** to use the search option.

PHOTOS:

This is really the first port of call isn't it. Your first impression beyond what you've spent the time writing. Sad to say, you could have the most amazing profile yet without a decent photo it can end up being null and void.

If you've not got a photo then say hello to no interest what so ever. You're ruining your chances right off the bat and some sites won't even let you join if you don't have one. Being mysterious is great but it's kind of creepy at the same time. The main thing is there are all sorts of people out there, so don't be shy showing yourself off. If you're too embarrassed that you're using a dating site in the first place (maybe someone you know will recognize you) then give up as you're wasting your time. Ok, there are some exceptions but that's rare. Dating sites have far less stigma attached these days, so be bold, be adventurous and take the plunge. Who knows you might get lucky - certainly way more than having no photo at all.

You don't need to have a professional photo taken but there are some pointers which can help greatly - or so I'm told. Here are my observations and yes I fully realise I should practice what I preach (my current photo is blurry) - let's just get that out the way right now shall we.

1. Far away shot. - might look great in a family album with you on some sunny beach but if you need a magnifying glass to see some pixilated dots then you're in trouble. People are viewing your image to see you, not how nice it is in the background, so ideally a close up is best (head and shoulders) and if you do want to show off the rest of you then make sure it's not too far away and still captures your face well (this is what people are going to view first).

2. Group shot - Ok you might be shy or don't have a shot with just you, but having a shot with you and a guy or with a girl is a bad idea. I mean, who is the person looking for a date/friend/love whatever and who is the supportive friend? How is anyone supposed to know especially if this is your only pic? It's not hard to use a camera timer and take one of yourself or better yet get that friend to help out.

3. Hidden Face shot - Hmmm sunglasses are cool aren't they especially in the sun but on a dating site they make you look like a prawn. What are you hiding behind the frames? You've been in a fight or two and are embarrassed? People are drawn to the eyes and if they are covered you might as well put a bag over your head. You'd probably get the same sort of response rate.

4. Cropped/Resized shot. - this was one of my mistakes. I didn't have any other recent (ish) photos so I used an old one which was a full body shot. rather than take a new one I simply cropped out my face and then used that instead. Sounded good on paper but the end result made me look like a freak. Due to resizing etc the image became pixilated and my face began to develop weird lines and bumps - my original pic actually made it look like I had some weird lumps under my eyes which is not good. So be mindful of this.

5. Best Shot.

Your photo is important anywhere you're going to show it off and so it's well worth taking a few and then deciding (with a friend perhaps) which one you feel is best. As mentioned earlier, I ran with an old resized image and this was simply not reflective of how I look. Although I'll hold my hands up as my current pic is better but still could be improved (it's slightly blurry). I should take my own advice and do another one (which I will).

6. Comedy/Props shot. - ha ha isn't he or she funny. Yeh great for auditioning for a comedy show but are people really interested in you pulling a funny face or worse holding a pint of beer/cigarette in your hand? I've seen some pics where the actual prop covers the face - what's the pint of that? (deliberate spelling error there).

You might be a funny person in reality, which is great as people love humor, but in terms of showcasing how you look normally, you need to look normal surely - unless you constantly pull funny faces? Great when you go out or perhaps the reason you're on the hunt in the first place?

Try and relax and just look natural. The props might showcase your personality a little more, but could have a detrimental effect. If you must use props then why not add some more photos to your gallery?

7.Great Body shot - wow she/he's fit must work out every day or been to see a surgeon. Whilst you might feel the ripped abs are your best feature and well worth showing off, if your face is hidden then well... what does that say. Nothing. Actually it might suggest that you could be over compensating and that perhaps the body is all you've got. maybe you're fanatical about it which for many is a big turn off. Sure a nice body is going to capture some attention but once the initial 'wowsers' has worn off what's left? If you've got the body (or not) then at least showcase the face as well.No really.

8.Too Dark - lighting is important in any photo it's what can make a good photo look rubbish or a bad one look decent. Make sure the light is right so that you can be seen. Save hiding in the shadows for spies and secret agents. Be wary of the sun position if it's an outdoors shot, because you might squint too much or shadows might intrude on your looks.

9. Picture Age

It's a fact of life we can't avoid, as we get older our faces change - a bit of extra weight here, some lines here and there and possibly a few battle scars depending on how you've lived your life.

It's tempting isn't it, and you want to look vibrant and youthful, yet it's a huge mistake to use a picture of you from 15 years ago. People aren't stupid and if you've been honest with your profile age, the picture is going to stand out a mile. Aged 40 but looks 20, yeh right!

Also think about if you do actually meet someone, what are they going to think when you show up looking far less sprightly than your picture suggested? The person might be understanding, but it sets a precedent doesn't it...you're prone to telling little white lies perhaps? Not an ideal start surely? It's ok to show off pictures of your younger days, but as a main profile image should be avoided. You'll only end up in hot water eventually.

Be proud of how you look now, embrace it. Without spending huge amounts of cash on surgery/creams etc you're not going to change your looks that much, so deal with it. People are judgemental, but also attraction is subjective so be realistic about the process.

10. The Subject - Remember this as a good rule of thumb, positioning is important and although you can get some decent angles if you mess around, try and keep you (the star of the show) as central as possible. The best photos have the person centralized with as little clutter as possible. It's not hard to do and just generally looks better. No one is interested in what's next to you or in the background and if you've got an image where you're on either side especially if you've cut yourself off by mistake (or on purpose), then try again and get it right. Don't try and be too arty, this is not a fashion shoot, it's a dating site.

...

In closing. The main thing is to have fun taking photos and choosing them. Don't make it feel like a chore and also take the time to get it right because if you put the effort in, then you'll have a much better success rate - unless of course you don't care, but if that's the case then why are you here? Remember, you're selling yourself and looking like an idiot or not doing yourself justice isn't going to get you very far.


*cue 100 remarks about how you've had great success with a picture that makes you look like Bernard Manning on crack.

I'll go along with all that, it does make a big difference. Not sure how many people will read a long post, but could dip in for a few hints.