I thought even if it was bad news, we might be able to cheer Ray up! I think if I'd had a bad day then I might post on here, as you're all really supportive and generous with your advice.

i regularly moan about my bad days on here... it's a way of releasing stress and pent up anger without killing anyone/thing lmao.

You're right Spare. It takes me a while to seek that much support. I have to be in tears to do so (hence the thread re my boys), but i have a feeling I may open up more and more with seeing how everyone rallies round

Anyway, back to Ray. Yes, he'll have loads of support if neccesary and loads of cheers if not

Hi all, now working towards the next meet. It is not a simple thing because I work in Holland during the week. I didn't want to push too hard after the first meet, because I wanted her to have time to consider whether she wanted to pursue this further.

Still wavering between whether the next meet will be shopping or a meal with dancing after. Both allow me to show more of the real me. Could do another coffee, but that would be stasis rather than progress.

We are still exchanging messages so I don't think I have blown it yet. Is it like walking through a mine field with your detector saying battery low, Definitely!!!

Ray

Okay I may be rather thick sometime. Do I suspect that the romantic thing would have been to push towards the next meet already, rather than planning towards when the best time would be? Is there any part of dating that isn't playing double jeapody and your partner has marked the cards?

Ray

Hooray Ray! I'm glad things are still in the pipeline. Hope you didn't mind me asking.

I love the way you are so analytical... If it were me, I would be thinking perhaps, 'Why hasn't Ray metioned another date yet. perhaps he's changed him mind and only wants to remain friends'

IMO when you're chatting I would mention another date, even if you can't organise a specific time or day. That way she knows you have every intention of asking her out again.

Just my opinion though.

Yep made sure to drop a mention of another meet into one of our messages. And confirmed the idea of another meet on the day and in the next messages.

Analytical moi? Sitting here arms crossed, checking what I have just written to see what it reveals about me. Croos arms, check words once more. Laugh at ones self, stop arms from further crossing. Nope I can do spontinaity. There must be a web site on that. How to hit send without checking words once more.

Ray

It all sounds good then Ray - at least your 'friend' knows you have continuing interest, although you just can't amke it at the moment.

good luck.

Ok so somewhere in between analysing the responses last night I decided I should send a message to my friend and see what happens. Looks like we are on again for next weekend. Still have to decide where. I am thinking lunch maybe?

Understand the importance of approaching all this with a positive attitude, but I'll need to rewire some fairly large chunks of my brain to achieve that. In the meantime, small steps.

Ray

Greetings all. Next meet is now confirmed. I took the safe option of walk followed by lunch. And I have ordered a gift that is nice, unusual, neither expensive or cheap, but shows that I listened to what we talked about on the first meet. Once I know a bit about someone I am usually pretty good with the gift bit. Was about to write something to check my optomism and then remembered I am supposed to approach this positively.

"If you plant rice, rice will grow. If you plant fear, fear will grow." I was looking for a quote about grasshopper walking across the rice paper but this seemed more appropriate.

Ray