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Home >> Anything else >> What is your dilemma today?
07.05.2008, 16:40 quote
| mirrorpool wrote: |
| Friendship should be based on 'wanting' to be friends not 'needing' to be friends. |
There we go again on the dilemma between Lurve and Friendship.
It's really weird. I for one have some very, very old friends. At some point all peeps in my gang have chosen one path or another so eventually we've come to share few common interests. What truly keeps us togther is knowing that we'll always be there for eachother in times of need. For if it's not for friends to be there in times of need, then who's it for? Durin life you meet lots of people who have same interests as you and you get along great with... But few of them will become true friends... So if your true friends share yer likes no more and expect you to be there for them in time of need I think you should... If they're there for you too in times of need that is.
I think friendship's more like family. You don't really get to choose your friends. There'll be some people who'll love you even if you love them back or not.
Anyway... Again I dunno if what I said had anything to do with anythin so I'll stop here. Bygone. Might even erase it if confirmed that it had nothing to do with the subject. LOL
07.05.2008, 16:52 quote
| PasleptSiekare wrote: |
My dilemma for today is wondering what I'm going to wear for my date.  |
depending on the date... and where it's going afterwards... something easy to get out of ?
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| Quote: |
|
If there really is to be a soul mate out there, I think your soul mates are those people who make you feel at home, wherever you are. That hearing their voices and knowing they're close to you (even if in thought) makes you feel at ease. |
07.05.2008, 17:20 quote
| mirrorpool wrote: |
| My dilemma today is about how far should I put myself out to remain friends with a mate. So far I've just sent a couple of friendly messages about not being able to talk whilst she was drunk and abusive to me last night, but being available for her on msn if she wants to chat.
I know she's got some serious issues with me, and although it's meant to be about 'caring' that's not the way I'm experiencing her behaviour towards me. Friendship should be based on 'wanting' to be friends not 'needing' to be friends and there lies my dilemma. If I become 'needed' then that tends to push me away from someone. |
Hhhmmm, if it were me, heres what i would do.
Tell said friend in words of one syllable so its not open to misinterpretation, that her abusive behavior toward me was totally unacceptable and will not be tolerated further. By accepting her excuse that she was drunk at the time, is just saying "Oh thats ok then, feel free to repeat said behavior".
If she has an alcohol problem, that is her problem, not yours. whether or not you choose to involve yourself with said problem, only you can decide.
07.05.2008, 17:22 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: |
| Damn Lawra, that one's too easy.
Confidence, of course. |
I meant clothes wise.
07.05.2008, 17:39 quote
| PasleptSiekare wrote: |
Now what kind of girl do you think I am?  |
well obviously not an Essex girl !
just wear something comfortable - ya don't want to be fidgeting all evening do you !
_________________
| Quote: |
|
If there really is to be a soul mate out there, I think your soul mates are those people who make you feel at home, wherever you are. That hearing their voices and knowing they're close to you (even if in thought) makes you feel at ease. |
07.05.2008, 17:48 quote
| s6boystu wrote: | ||
well obviously not an Essex girl !
just wear something comfortable - ya don't want to be fidgeting all evening do you ! |
I might as well be an Essex girl
I was thinking jeans and a half dressy top or something.
07.05.2008, 18:39 quote
| lilacrose wrote: | ||
Hhhmmm, if it were me, heres what i would do. Tell said friend in words of one syllable so its not open to misinterpretation, that her abusive behavior toward me was totally unacceptable and will not be tolerated further. By accepting her excuse that she was drunk at the time, is just saying "Oh thats ok then, feel free to repeat said behavior". If she has an alcohol problem, that is her problem, not yours. whether or not you choose to involve yourself with said problem, only you can decide. |
Thankyou lilacrose, that sounds like a good starting place.
07.05.2008, 18:43 quote
| PasleptSiekare wrote: | ||||
I might as well be an Essex girl
I was thinking jeans and a half dressy top or something. |
....and hey! none of that.....I may live in Norfolk now, but I was born and raised in Essex!!
07.05.2008, 20:55 quote
i still feel manky so do i go back to work tomorrow as thursday is my half day or do i not go and go back next week ... i dont work fridays problems is i wanna go chatsworth on weekend as is the horse trials and cant go if i am sickly han
i am well aware i am quite poorly xxx
_________________
FoxyHan - Proof that it's not all grim up north
07.05.2008, 21:49 quote
| mirrorpool wrote: |
| ....and hey! none of that.....I may live in Norfolk now, but I was born and raised in Essex!! |
Sorry....*hangs head in shame*
And Han, I'd say don't go to work tomorrow - get some rest, see how you feel at the weekend.
07.05.2008, 21:54 quote
Yes hannah, i agree with laura. Stay off work tomorrow and rest. See if you feel well enough for chatsworth on the weekend, and if you are well enough to go back to work on monday. Sounds to me like you are not used to putting your own needs first, try to let hannah rest and get better. xx
08.05.2008, 00:32 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: | ||
There we go again on the dilemma between Lurve and Friendship. So if your true friends share yer likes no more and expect you to be there for them in time of need I think you should... If they're there for you too in times of need that is. I think friendship's more like family. You don't really get to choose your friends. There'll be some people who'll love you even if you love them back or not. |
I was not thinking of friends needing help at times of need as I try to be there for all my friends in that way.
What I meant was about friendships that become unhealthy because an attachment occurs causing one to be dependent on the other. Through fear the person tries to control, attempts to make their friend feel responsible for their happiness, and becomes jealous and possessive and even tries to sabotage other aspects of their friends life under the guise of caring.
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