"Hello could I speak to the home owner please?"

"I'm afraid you cant shes dead" *hangs up*

Or if its really early in the morning just a plain simple "f*ck off" does the trick.


Door to door salemen are no better.
We had one call today and when discovering that I was the daughter, and not the home owner said "Could you give this leaflet to your Mummy or Daddy for me".
How old did he think I was?!

Whilst saying this the dogs had pushed the door shut and locked me out which meant I had to stand on next door neighbours wall, lean over and open the back gate cutting my armpit in the process and then climb in through the conservatory window.

I was not best pleased.

TPS and MPS (mailing preference service to stop junk mail) are useful however they are short-lived - you only need to put your address or phone number on some new bit of documentation somewhere and forget to tick the box (or tick it, depending on whether it says tick to stop..etc) and you're back in the system again. And these companies sell their lists of names&numbers to other companies, who in turn sell the same info on, ad infinitum....

I have had fun answering 'in character' as an old chinese woman running a laundromat, a civil servant who insists on every question in triplicate 'for the record', and just a looney who repeats incorrectly everything said by the sales agent....thats when ive had the time and can be arsed tho...usually I just resort to my aforementioned courses of action, lol