Can you be ? Seriously.

If you're looking for 'the one' etc, can you be too fussy ?

I have been told many times that I'm too fussy for someone of 'my looks' but I don't see why I should settle for anything less than what I actually want, rather than what would basically be considered by me as second best ? I know they say that love is blind and you shouldn't look for it and yadda yadda but..

I am intrigued and await a full spectrum of weird and wonderful replies and, no doubt, some 'spam'.
_________________

Cmmon Stu, it's hard for me not to jump at this straight away...

1. Life is pretty simple this way. You take your risks, you may or may not find your mate. The only one who can know if you are too choosy or not is YOU AND YOU ALONE. Nobody else can make that decision for you.

I, for one, know my standards very well. I know that I need to work a bit so I can get where I really want to be and that I am obviously not there now. Other people say I'm wrong, because they think I am great and there we go again... It's all a matter of perception.

2. If you go for the moon you'll probably nail a star to say the least. That happened to me at least four or five times so far. So never have anyone tell you that you can't make it. It is none of their damn business.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I witnessed perfection of desire and love (well obviously in my opinion and perception) and even if they did come down in flames, they are surely out there. You don't have to trust my word though... I was just saying...

However I for one don't really know what to think of love. It's a far too complicated subject for my little head so I have ditched it for now. But I know for sure that if it does show its head again (love that is), I'll most likely won't ever be able to SAY NO to it. LOL But then again, the finest things in life are worth paying for (in this case emotionally).

Last but not least I have asked myself if I think I'm fussy and want some perfect guy, but truth is I don't think I am at all. I do have standards and they are pretty high but I don't see that as fussy. I don't expect the guy who fits those standards to be perfect, it's just that if he fits most of them I don't even care about imperfections anymore. Does anyone?

So, in the end, only you can tell if you're fussy or not, mostly based on what happened to you so far and what your heart tells you.

But I for one would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one and I have been told before that I must stop searching for Prince Charming. Do you know when that happened? JUST BEFORE I FOUND HIM. AHAHAHAHAH Doesn't matter that he went away afterwards, I had a priceless time.

My 2p.

I think I know what you mean by spam

Personally I dont think there is anything wrong with being fussy, why should anyone have to settle for any less than what they deserve? I know I would rather be single forever than know im with someone cos he was all I could get, also Id hate to know that my partner was settling for me. How could you ever be truly happy if you just settled? surely there would be a constant hole where something was missing? Yeah I like you.... BUT.... nah I couldnt and wouldnt live with that!

Of course there are people with the extremes and endless lists of what a mna/woman must have. Of course we all want to live a life where we are comfortable (money) BUT some people focus on what jobs they would want their partner to do, as long as it was legal and put the food on the table and the occasional outfit in the wardrobe then that would be all that mattered to me.

I do have a type, like most people, I know what I fancy and what looks, clothes and hairstyle I like, but i have gone for different, never liked so best to stick with what stands out for me.

I want to be happy for the rest of my life, still be head over heels inlove for the rest of my life, still have that burning passion for the rest of my life, still have an amazing love life for the rest of my life (well for aslong as possible lol) and there is NO way that I would get that from second best, I want the best, I deserve the best, so why should I or anyone settle!

Cat amongst the parrots time again...(!):

CONSIDER:

Using NLP healthy alternative positions to defeat (!) the: "You're too fussy... you'll never meet anyone to match what you're asking for" brigade, try these suggestions to counter the typical, baseless language they parrot(!):-

Gibberish:__-__Quality:
('Them')____-___(Us)

Fussy - Discerning, having good taste

Arrogant - Confident, with humility as necessary

Spontaneous - Well considered, responsible - as opposed to reckless, irresponsible

Broad minded - Selectively minded, based on foresight, experience, goal setting, self-discipline

Prejudiced - Preference, based on intuition, quality, self-worth, experience and education

Standards too high - Decent, respectable, of good normal standing, admired and turned to by society, leading society

Judgemental - Mature, example setting, self-monitoring, of good basic informed virtues

Intolerant - Self-disciplined (NB tolerances have an upper and lower limit and are not open-ended - ask any manufacturer. You thus show self-restraint and education in virtue and ethics to be the way you are and to hold society together whilst the rest do not).

Entitled - Deserving (the only person bestowing entitlement is the Queen).

Equality - Quality

Unconditional - Wise, sensible investment

Respect - Qualified respect, not an automatic 'right'

Rights - Meritocracy (there are no rights in nature, just ask cancer or any lion ripping your throat out in the jungle)

Laid back - Pro-active (laid back means lazy, disinterested, non-participating in anything challenging, non-committal

Have s.e.x - Make love

'Fun' - Romantic commitment. ('Fun' is an immature marketing term used to reduce lovemaking to a matter of being a sexual cripple needing props; using something/someone instead of loving, and having no soul connectedness and development of true bonding - instead of the passionate union of lovemaking, protracted sustained orgasm and two becoming one organism on many levels - i.e. true love. 'Fun' will permanently damage reputations in the long-term, and all you need to ask yourself is: do you or would anyone really want to be number 30+ to enter into someone's insides that have been used like a lavatory? Do you really have so little self-worth? Do you really want a child being born out of that lavatorial compartment where all and sundry have been? Of course not. As any shepherd knows: to raise a strong, healthy, valuable flock you do not take it to fields that have been chewed over by everything else. You take the flock to fresh, green pastures where it will healthily thrive.)

Easy going - Passionate (easy going means drifter, slob [see above])

Let your hair down - Sobriety, so as to be able to function in crisis at any time and respect self-health and mind

Go with the flow - Motivated. Dead fish go with the flow (!), i.e. non-achiever, unmotivated, lacking in courage, drive and passion

Open-minded - Focussed, selectively minded, clarity based on integrity (sewers and bins are open; be the opposite of being a moral degenerate willing to compromise all of the above standards in the interests of self-centred short-term hedonism regardless of consequence for society)

Narrow minded - Self respecting and respectful of others integrity, and having the strength and foresight to hold onto it in the interests not only of self but of future generations/children

Get off your high horse - Leading by/voicing positive example (Stay on it (!). Aim even higher, achieve (the opposite is to compromise your values and to aim low, and low is where the horse's droppings fall)

Sarcastic - Humorous, ironic, non-personal. Sarcasm is used to bully/hurt.

Insult: "Who the hell do you think you are Jesus Christ?"
Retort: No... a giraffe!

Hence, if the "You're too fussy brigade" criticize you, just hold onto the following personal qualities (as listed below this paragraph) and understand their true meaning, and not their current bastardisation that passes for mediocre. Look in other places for love and you will find - in time - exactly what you merit. Patience is necessary, strengthens you - and, pays off. A quick fix/rush or brief distraction never works - ask any crippled motorcyclist. Always remember that anger is typically based on fear, so when "too fussys" insult you or try to argue, they are simply feeling threatened by facing the mirror of actual reality. They typically then gang together squeeking with others who follow the same impoverished delusions, for they cannot stand alone and do not have the courage nor validation to do so. The same applies to those who nit-pick/intellectualise over your writings/views instead of constructing/creating their own new standpoints with a heart and soul. Rarely acknowledge either group. Stay strong. Never argue. Never waste your time... for time is the most valuable commodity you have, and it runs out sometimes far sooner than you think. Invest it constructively, leave something to educate them by and then just leave them be. In a few years time when you are happily sorted out, and you then see them on the street or online still - you will say to yourself 'Thank GOD I missed out on THAT(!)':

Discerning
Confident
Considered
Selectively minded, with goals
Preferential, based on self-worth
Decent
Mature
Self-disciplined
Deserving through effort
Wise
Of personal quality and integrity
Respectful of positive qualities
Meritocratic - deserving through effort
Pro-active
Romantic love-maker
Soul-conscious
Passionate
Sober
Motivated
Focussed
Self-respecting
Leading by positive example
Humorous

Memory jog: These qualities are not fantasy. Be assured of that. They are all very real, easy to achieve and take far less effort in the long-term than coping with allowing yourself to be a victim of the opposites (i.e. via short-term after short-term, through pandering to the "You're too fussy's"). Do not pander at any cost. You will pay the price. All adults that truly lead, make valid true parents, permanent husbands/wives, sustain positive businesses or striving exploits in any positive endeavour to further humanity - have the above solid qualities... all that don't don't choose them (i.e. for their misguided false values, as listed). It's your choice as to which side of the line you want to land on, and of what you intuitively feel is of better value in the man/woman you seek... and... most importantly, the value you too offer via yourself, via generosity of heart, honesty and adherence to these intuitive, healthy truths.

PS - And yes, I have just written all of the above; and no, none of it is copied. And yes... they are all of my own actual values - and I own them, and they work - regardless of what I typically post on here for entertainment purposes; and no... hardly anyone will read it all attentively, the mass will scoff at it/dispute it... but stay exactly the same for life (case in point), and only 1 in 1000 will be positively motivated by it and then actually act on it. But hey... it's that 1 person who makes a real difference in life so... good luck with your decision, whoever you are!

A guy I know has never bought a second hand car because he liked to choose the colour, model, engine size, trim, etc. This thread is consistent with other aspects of his life- i.e. he would only shop in certain stores or only eat food from certain sources or even, only live in a particular type of flat/house.

In that sense I consider him fussy.

But with people, when it comes to friends and relationships, he's different. He is far more relaxed and tolerant. He is generally liked by people who come in contact with him even though he appears to be "just so"

I once asked why he was so anal most things but totally the opposite when it comes to people. He told me that he learnt through bitter experience that with people- especially friends and relationships, you cannot be too prescriptive. He's happy to be fussy about things that are static and within his control since he has that power to controlling them.

But with people- everyone falls short of standards in one way or another. So why frustrate yourself trying to get people to fit your exact criteria.

Aside from a few core values, just relax.