Sometimes people manage this, personally it hasnt worked for me whether she ended it or I did, how do you stay friends with someone you were intimate with and broke up?

I think it will usually have to be a mutual decision to break up in order to stay friends otherwise if one of the couple does not want to break up they will still harbour feelings for the other in some form, be it still in love or love disguised as hatred. Some people find that they become friends again after a time where both had time to get over it and move on.

Naah... just use the guillotine, forget they existed, forget their name - never use it, and forbid others from using it. Bin everything they ever bought you, unless its practical (drill, jeans, utensils, car, suit, house, fame etc!). Give the fluffy teddy bears to a charity for children. Burn the 'love is forever' cards, pawn the jewellery and give the cash to a charity. Bin the photos (and negatives), delete their dirty pics and vids from your PC (and over-write the areas of hard-disk so they're unrecoverable), delete their numbers, addys and texts from your fones and MSN and YM - AFTER blocking them first. Remove every single trace of them, and even wash the jacket you last went to the movies in with him/her to get rid of the perfume/aftershave smell of them. Dry clean the rest of your clothes to remove any of their hairs, and vac the car out - inc the headrests. And if you can get away with a it, a Police caution and an injunction and 'sending the boys' round - just to make sure they never come back. Then, move 300 miles away. Then you can breathe easy... but then, they still have your dog you jointly bought together, so - do you kidnap it? And what if it suddenly goes missing? Did it go to the dogs home? Was it put to sleep? Did her new BF kill it in rage cos she's now expecting his child and he worried the dog might kill it when baby's born? So NEVER stay friends... it simply means you have issues in letting go, moving on, and is like a serial killer inviting you back to his/her house to show you his/her corpses: "This is Johnny, my best mate. Oh, we did have a thing for a time, but... we always should have always been just friends y'know. We're just like brother and sister now - best mates. You've nothing to worry about, really. What do you mean? It bothers you thinking of him putting is 11" long thick permanently hard sausage in all of my orifices, and both of us swapping and squirting fluids everywhere on, in and up each other? And what if he does stay over? He only ever uses the spare room. Does that bother you?" --- Well... erm... yeah it does, so.... adios!!!!!!!

I think it depends on the relationship. I went out with one of my close friends once, then ended up breaking up with her. However through force of will on both sides we've managed to rebuild our friendship. I think it was easier because we'd all ready been friends to begin with.

If you weren't and you just know each other as lovers then maybe when the love is gone there might not be enough left to keep you talking. Or it might just hurt too much (though that heals with time).

Obviously this is just my opinion,

M

hummusphobia, yes, you may turn your former love relations into amity with the obedience to condition:

To meet them ever as seldom as it's possible and don'r arise on their horizon without actual need too!

mrmoogly, time doesn't heal, it only chokes remembrances more or less...

scriptwriter, you shared a bright instant of how to get rid of ex's reminders, but I reckon one should have cleansed their mind first, because things and surroundings are secondary.
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If I stop joking, I'll start whining... So please decide which side of mine you'd want!

I disagree...! Mind and body are intricately enjoined, so either way of cleansing is suitable and cathartic - external or internal first doesn't really matter, so long as it works! x

This may be side-stepping the issue, but, what's the point of staying friends? If you were the only 2 people left on the planet then I'd understand, but otherwise.... do as scriptwriter says!

I think it would depend ENTIRELY on the reason for splitting up ?

For example.

Man - i've been offered a job in america, the contract is 2 years and i really need this to further my career to become as sucessfull as i want to be.

Woman - i have no interest in going to america for 2 years.

Man - bye then.

they can still be friends can't they ? !

however...

Man - slap / punch / kick / slap

Woman - Ow marry you i'm leaving

*slam* (please note this scenario is also available as the woman hitting the man, before any sexist remarks are made.)

they are not likely to stay friends.

Capiche ?

It is in my opinion, that if you really truly cared for someone and then split up with that person, then you will always have a place for them 'with' you.. maybe not as friends, but there will always be that little bit.
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In this particular instance I was friends with her first and we always got on really well however things didnt work out that well and I ended the relationship but she didnt want to, think I've answered my own question there really in that trying to be friends is just rubbing salt in the wound for her..

As they say in the case of necrotizing fasciitis - to save the body in time, AMPUTATE! Then, listen to this (!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XZfL_As4Oo

wow guys, harsh!

I am pleased to say I am friends with all my ex's bar 1, I have a great friendship with someone who is an ex, and yes whilst it was difficult at first, (maybe the first month) now its great.

The only reason I am not friends with Shaun is because believe it or not 10 years on, ( well nearly 11) and he is still very angry that we split up.
We had email contact recently and it is clear he is still very angry, however I was like 18 - 19, he drank too heavily and it just was not meant to be,

I think its a shame we cant be friends, because we shared so much together, to try and just forget it all, seems such a shame.

Just my pennies worth...

If you ended it I think ultimately you have to let the decision be hers. If she'd in too much pain she won't want to talk to you. However if you give it time she may well come around. With all my ex I just remained supportive without pushing myself in her face. She didn't want to talk to me for some time, but when she was ready things were fine

I agree with the comment that you can only stay friends from the get go if you both are happy with the split.

For example, I joined the RAF Regiment recently and my girlfriend of 18months, well, i loved her to bits and was going to propose to her upon my graduation.

I thought she felt the same way.

But no, two weeks into training i got a text saying she'd been thinking and it "wasn't going to work" but she wanted to stay friends.

Easy for her to just switch off her feelings like a light bulb, but i couldnt just forget her, so staying friends isnt happening at the moment.

ramble much? yes lol
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scriptwriter, you are acclaimed to trash your furniture, as far as it yours... I just tried to set up priorities

bounderushu, the point exists if you both have something in common like kids or business, etc.
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If I stop joking, I'll start whining... So please decide which side of mine you'd want!

I'm still friends with my ex. I keep her in the basement.