Well, not soft, soft, but are there any women out there who seriously like the soft kind of loving? I mean, sure, there's nothing wrong with some romance and stuff (actually it's truly delicious and even heart breaking when someone hard and nasty shows you they can be tender as well, that's a wonderful combo), but...

I was just wondering: Do the softies (men who act soft) hope to achieve something? Or are they simply "the weakest link"?

In my opinion, regardless of the nature of the relationship, a man should be a man, as in a hunter, a predator, a powerful being.

In fact, I do not only believe that a man should be a man, but I also believe that a woman should be a man as well. Ha.

I probably have some truly unsolved issues, but still...

I can never picture a guy who barely "pushes" as sweet and caring. I find it bla, not to say other things.

Of course, I can understand that men are sensitive beings and have problems as well, but...

Truth is I can now sense a guy who's sort of a softie from a mile.

Bottom line (excuse my rant): I would like to know if there are women who like softies (regular women, not dominatrix style) and why they like them.

and I thought you had a crush on Buble, Bliss?
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"The tighter you grasp Lord Vader, the more it will slip through your fingers."

Buble may look and act like a softie but he has a granite core. He's the iron fist in the velvet glove of easy-listening swing music.

What's so bad about taking a cricket bat and crowbar to bed with you...

Lucky me, lotsa men answering. Oh and: LoOoOk, it's the Oakman !

As for Buble, I don't even know what to begin with. I don't think I ever said I love Buble. I think I said I believe he's so perfect that I can't stand the sight of him.

And, yes, I suppose Buble could be seen as some sort of softie (in spite of what Oakman said) and I think I just answered my own question (with your help Zacktelstar). In some cases how good the s.e.x (or love making in this instance) is probably does not matter. Perfection comes first. Always. Although... If I were to choose between a typhoon and a peaceful lake ( I know, doesn't make sense) I still think I'd go with the typhoon, no questions asked.

But then again, I think I wasn't thinking about love when I posted this. I was thinking about a type of person and attraction and s.e.x (probably).

Lotsa thinking, obviously... Pfffft.

In the end, could it be a question of other qualities? Could I accept a softie if we truly click in lots of other ways? Hmmm... I need to think about this.

Keep on answerin'. Where's JB?

I'm not really one or the other myself. I can be a bit of a softy at times (I think everyone can really), but I also have a bit of a tough, hard streak too. You might call it a flexible persona.

Performance anxiety can sometimes make some people a softy...!

There is no time for performance anxiety I'm afraid.

Speaking of which...

Do guys actually know what women think of when it goes soft?

Also, good going Shere. Thought you were MIA again.

I don't know. It's never gone soft in my own case but I have heard some people put a coat hanger in it to give it some shape!!!!

I will answer this when bliss gets her arse back!!

Leaving seems to be the hardest word...!

i'm a bit of a softy, but that doesn't mean i am soft. If i mean it, or want something, i'll hold firm. I've never backed down from something just because 'she' told me i couldn't do it.
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Every date I've ever had from the Net has ended up like the following clip, literally within days (for those who like it hard!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44QNHQpBK5U

RIGHT... it depends what you mean by soft?

This is the way I see it, you can be going slow but hard and it can much more passionate that way, I mean if its with someone you have an amazing connection with, who looks at you the whole way through, kisses your neck and ..... holds you so tight and makes you go weak and shake (in my case) with every slow but hard push.... and makes you literally sweating from the whole thing.... see that is amazing IF you have that connection and desire and passion for each other, a man that will take his time to explore your body and main aim is to please you! But IMO its rare to find someone that you can actually enjoy that with, maybe you need to be inlove? or have this overwhelming need for them? i dunno but ive had that twice and second person beats any hard rough shag ive ever had!

BUT on the other hand the passion between two people can and sometimes needs to be shown from hard, dirty roughness, bit of throwing across the room, ass spanking lol something that makes you ache for a few days and everytime you sit down you get that reminder of an amazing rough night!!!! I think you can have that with alot of people tho, so connection maybe isnt as important with that? Im not too sure!

BUUUUUT its all about a man that you can have both with and that is a rare find and one you should keep! I think to enjoy a healthy s.e.x life you need that passion and connection with each other, no inhibitions and someone you can put your body in their hands with complete trust, someone you fancy the arse off, someone who when you think about them makes you tingle in all the right places.

Seeeee me and dan waited over 2 months before we got intimate, it was hell, the frustration and tension had boiled up and was way out of control, we talked about it every night and even had phone s.e.x before actually doing the deed, but we both knew it would be worth the wait and in a way we have both said it was the best thing to do,we have both rushed in before and it fizzled out and it also allowed us proper time to just date and get to know each other and the feelings were there for us both by the time we had s.e.x! The first time we had s.e.x was on a bench tho lol it was fun but awkward as it started to rain, a week later we spent the first night on our own, and it was the most amazing night in my whole entire life! I knew he was a filthy bastard and has no limits BUT i didnt expect it to be as passionate as it was and for him to be how he was, it wasnt fast it was just perfect and how s.e.x should be but he has the other side to him which makes it the perfect sexual relationship a girl can find!

Remember s.e.x isnt just about s.e.x, its about two people showing each other how they feel about each other in another way, it isnt about who cums first or how hard it was, its about two people enjoying the whole thing!

If you had asked me that question 9 months ago it would have been a different answer ans much like yours bliss, buit i honestly believe if you meet that person that can blow your mind in so many ways you will see the whole thing differently!!