to the health, security and welfare of all concerned

And so says the box kicking champion.

It's a means to an end. Bell end maybe

From time to time this shit happens. Sometimes i can be arsed to deal with it and sometimes i cant. Then on the other hand mother takes it all with her so father cant look at it whilst she's away.

thats annoying.

When the chips are down the toilet roll holders will come for you with large fangs and dangly gherkins on their chins. Thats disgusting. I mean why eat Gherkins if you are just going to waste them by spitting them down your chin?

For some time i have thought that the shredder in my office comes alive when i go home. I find tiny shards of paper on the floor and wonder if that is where it was stood on its head beatboxing and spinning in infinity to a beat that doesnt exist. To normal people anyway.

I ask my self regularly if i can have it, and i always tell myself no, which is sad really because I would have told myself yes just to see what the outcome was. clearly I am just a bitch.

If i look out the window long enough i wonder whether the Sisters of Mercy will come and carry me to the Temple of Love. I doubt it. The last time they did that i got lost in Trollers Ghyll and couldnt get out until i had slept with Bungle from Rainbow. He was okay, but he insisted on humping me from behind and his wild stabbing kept missing the place it should have been going. I walked like Chi Chi La Rou for about a week after that.

Polaroids are obscure things.

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Did you think your feet were hanging out of bed so you got out to have a look?

Some people really need to be shown the disappearing pencil trick
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flibble flibble machine gun rap up well...