I was wondering if there are any people that have lost a parent like myself.I lost my mum in September to a brain tumour and i miss her so much.I know its supposed to help to discuss how you feel with others that know how you feel and what you went through but i cant talk about it yet.Thought maybe reading other peoples storeys would help me to stop feeling so sorry for myself

Saw this slipping down the boards and thought it a great shame to let it disappear amongst the usual non important drivel.

Your not feeling sorry for yourself Prima, you are simply going through the natural process of grieving and it’s going to take time to come to terms with what’s happened. I know it’s a cliché but time does heal all wounds, and although you are never going to stop missing her you will be able to talk about it more openly eventually.

I lost my dad to stomach cancer when I was 13 (I’m 38 now) and even now after all this time I still miss him very much. He was ill for a long time and after the operation had to endure months of treatments and home visits and was distressing to see him in such pain all the time. He couldn’t eat solid food, only liquids, so he had lost so much weight he didn’t even look like my dad anymore. Sadly the last time I saw him he was being walked to the ambulance and 3 days later he had died from pneumonia and was only 52. I never even got to say goodbye.

It helps me to focus on the good times we shared together rather than those last few months. I’m not a spiritual person but I know I will see him again some day.

Just be the best person you can be and make your mum proud.

Thanks even though it made me cry. I cant seem to see my mum as she was when she was healthy, I have an imagage of her stuck in my head, frail and very very sick looking, I have lots of photos which i have and i look at regularly to try picture her like that in my thoughts,but i dont.Has that passed for you or do you still picture your dad as he was with his illness?I spend many hours sat at her bedside and in the last weeks,like you watched her suffer and drift into a horrible nighmare.I think its so sad that if you have a human life that has been told they wont live for more than 3 months, lying in bed waiting to die, that they cant be allowed to die without pain and suffering,why cant we give them dignity like we do with our animals.Its a mad world

Lost my Dad when i was 18, i'm 38 now. He took his own life, so never got to the chance to say Goodbye. I miss him everyday, but like they say time is a great healer. Be stong babe, in time you will remember the good times xxxxxxx

Its sad that other people feel like me,but makes me realise that im not alone with my feelings and that millions of others are hurting too.Thanks

This is a difficult subject..i lost my mum when i was 2 she killed herself..she had a mental illness i just wish i got the chance to know her...i remember her face but thats it. none of my family wanted me so i'm adopted and i've had the best up bringing i could have wished for..i've got contact with my biological aunt and cousins..but they live in austrailia i've recently tried contacting my brother but he doesn't want to know he's been through so much we have different dads and he's lost both parents the same way and our uncle killed himself when i was 4 but i didn't know him..i know its a horrible story.. what really hurts is obviously my adopted family are like blood to me and i lost my grandad about 6 months ago to cancer..i was pregnant with my son and he was so looking forward to being a great grandad before he died..but he passed away on the 31st of march oscar was born on the 3rd of april just 3 days later!!it crushed me

My dad died 14 years ago on a hospital trolley, as he was misdiagnosed and they didn't have hospital bed for him.

Did upset me and still does that I wasnt there when he needed me, and he died alone. Also that I didn't say goodbye. If you were around when she was dying, then to can probably take comfort in that. You should look at that as a good thing.


But death is part of life, and as you get older you have to deal with a lot. Most of the people I have known has died and a lot of friends. But nothing is as bad as a close family member dying.

I still think of my dad now and a lot of things trigger memories of him.

You will move on, but will never forget, and will always feel a little sad. But its just about moving on as you mum would probably want you to

I have a friend who lost his mom because of a brain tumor too. He's never been the same since that happened (about two years ago), but I guess it's just because he's afraid to open up and he probably felt like nobody cared about his situation at that time, although most of the truth was that we couldn't actually help him... And he had to go through it all with only the help of his girlfriend...

Anyhow, losing people who are truly dear to you will change you forever. It's not like you can whisk it away... In time I believe it becomes less of a grieving thing and more of a part of you... I don't think you ever forget how hurt you've been or how much you loved and miss them, but it becomes more like a part of you rather than a bad intrusion into your world (the hurt I mean, not the other things).

It changes you anyway... And afterwards it's only up to you on how much you let this change affect your life.

Also at this point you might feel like nobody's actually there for you. Now I don't know if that's true or not, but I know that such an event in your life can change your usual perception too...

As for the way you remember her... I've lost my dad to untreated diabetes and other complications six months ago... Whenever I remember him all sorts of images come into mind... From when I was a kid, from 8 months ago... I don't remember a particular physical aspect. I just remember his great soul and his kind face and smiles. Signs of diabetes and the rest did show, but I don't remember them at all right now.

And one last piece of advice... Do try to stay surrounded with people who love you at this time, if possible, and do tell your friends how you're feeling... Although sometimes it's good to be alone, you shouldn't deny the need for affection, like I did, because it might turn you into someone you may not like.

And know that you'll always find friends on this site if you need to talk or need a virtual hug. xxx
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I lost my mum last year, so I know exactly how you must be feeling. I watched my mum suffer in hospital for about 8 months before she died and it was awful.

A few months before she died my dad took a brain heammorage,he was my mums carer, it was very unsuspected as he was so healthy and had just retired from work after 42 years service, it just seemed so unfair, he's now in a nursing home and in a wheel chair.

I'd like to think my mums in a better place now with no suffering and pain and thats what keeps me going.

Take care & be strong, I know thats what my mum would want xxx

I was going to post this privately but as there's a few of you identifying and having empathy with prima's recent sad loss, I'm putting a link to something I wrote about my aunt when she died.
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/?_c11_BlogPart_BlogPart=blogview&_c=BlogPart&partqs=cat%3dLIFE%2bAFTER%2bDEATH
It's the bottom article,I hope someone might find assuring, but I feel for anyone experiencing loss as it does take time.
Our culture has made death a fearful event yet in many other places around the globe there are societies that prepare for their own death and just see it as a transition from one state to another.
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http://myriad28.spcaes.live.com
www.myspace.com/arisingmoon
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587677759

Very nice, Sue. Thank you.
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My daughter has never got over the loss of her best friend just a couple of weeks before his 18th birthday and that's 5 years ago. It's the physical presence that she misses as they used to do so many things together and there's never been anyone else around with his patience with her.
I know it's personal again and it's about what your beliefs are, but I have no doubts about the world of spirit as I've been aware of them all my life. My daughter does believe this also and has received personal evidence of survival which has been helpful to her.
However,I wouldn't advise anyone to go seeking out a medium (clairvoyant/psychics)at such a vulnerable time. There are a lot of frauds after your money!
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www.myspace.com/arisingmoon
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587677759

Thank you all so much for sharing your own stories with me and the way you have coped with your losses.
I also saw my mum hovering between 2 worlds which was a very scarey experiance for me,she could no longer communicate and i know her body was shutting down.I sat alone with her and sang her part of a song,-- Its time to say goodbye-- I know she heard me, as later that night she died.I so wanted to be there at her side and I spent hours just sitting and watching her pain but she died when i left to go home.I hate myself for leaving her and wish i had been there to hold her hand,it just wasnt meant to be

Don't hate yourself hun. You was there for her, .. a similar thing happened with my dad when my mum and sister was with him. They popped out for a few minutes to get a cup of tea as they had been there all night, .. and when they came back he had passed away.

It was just his time to go x