laura texted me about an hour ago to tell me she had just had the worst day ever.. i had no credit and can't be bothered to top up my phone.

this morning, my first real boyfriend, the first guy to spend the night in my mothers house (on the sofa) the first guy i brought home to dinner every weekend for two years, the guy i failed an exam in school for cos he was sick and i wanted to visit him so i skipped out on the exam, the guy who used to get a bus over to me every night just to see me, the one and only man in my life that it took six years for me to get over (until september of last year) was found dead behind some bungalows in his home town in newbridge. heroin overdose. his name was james hannigan and he was so harmless. when i knew him he was not on drugs. he went on them shortly after we broke up and he's never been himself since. i guess i was really the last person to see him truly "alive" but to hear he was found dead........ *sob*

and then as if i wasn't having a bad enough day my mother told me i had to quit college because she couldn't handle looking after my kids anymore. she has them for three hours a day. and it's too much for her. she says. she's only in her forties... it's not like she's decrepid with age. oh well. *sob sob*

gonna take a lil time out from everything i guess.

i'm feeling really really low at the moment. really.

Jesus Mandy. So sorry to hear all this.

Re your kids.. could you not get help with childcare through Income Support? i don't know how it works over in Ireland, but most of our colleges have nurseries attached and you can get help with costs.

Thats some bad shit you have had there Mandy, so sorry to hear it.

thats awful hope your feeling better soon hun

Oh Mandy..i'm sorry

oh poop Mandy god i am so so sorry and there are no words that i can say that will help you justify what has happened. Thoughts are with you love and hugs xxxx
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sorry to hear this AP .. you must be feeling awful ... like everyone else i hope you get the child care sorted and like Red said you should be entiltled to child care as a single parent at college .. i know i did , but not sure how it all works in Ireland (take care ) x

OMG..hun, im here if you need to talk...my prayers are with you.....message me, cuz i dont want to disturb you hun..love you

I'm really sorry to hear that dear it's a shame you live so far I'm sure I could have got you a child minder so you could finished collage I know over hear they do have creche's and out of school nursery's and most good collages have child care facillity's available. If you ever need to talk let me know I'm a great listner and will be willing to give you my MSN address anytime I'm also in my forties and it's not the first time I've looked after my neices while my sister's away)

I don't know what college your going to mandy, but they have facilities to help. At least talk to a councillor, your entitled to that regardless of whether you continue the year or not, and he/she will be able to advise you on the best way to approach this.

Im sorry about james.

well i got my childcare sorted. i guilted my mother for first agreeing to mind them and then going back on her word.. so at least that's sorted.

thanks everyone for your support.