Daveym that is so funny!!! I loved reading that one!
I am not a drinker, so dont have any wild drunken tales to tell.
I did once get drunk without meaning to though.
I was about 19 and in very staid polite company, it was a xmas dinner with some rather posh people.
I was sat jammed in a corner at a table.
I started off with a glass of orange juice, then someone said "Same again?" and brought me orange juice with vodka....being polite, I said nowt and drank it (it was rather nice!!).
Unfortunately it seems as fast as my glass got empty someone kindly dumped a fresh glass in front of me and with all the chitchat and I was thirsty I just kept gulping it down.
When we were ready to leave, the person sat next to me got up (it was a long bench at the table) I kind of slid sideways and lay down on the bench.
I remember feeling very clear headed but my legs were totally paralysed.
No one twigged I was drunk and started talking about ambulances and panicking, and I just started giggling like a loon and peed myself too.
I had to be carried to a taxi and carried into the house and into bed.
It was appalling. They were very posh people, like Lady Diana of all people to make a fool of yourself in front of.....
THAT was the first and last time I have ever dared to do more than have more than just a sip or two of alcohol on rare occasions.

That made me really laugh Daveym, welcome to the forums.

Even though I am not ready to tell my most embarrassing drunk moment, I just remembered my first:

I was 12 or 13 and my dad took his staff as a treat for a short trip in the south of East Germany. As my dad ran a restaurant at this time the destination was a very unique Japanese restaurant, the only one at the time in the GDR and very exclusive. We arrived at the restaurant and first thing we had to do is taking a bath for cleaning in a public pool naked. Probably because of the political situation, people in the GDR used to be rather unreserved, so nothing kinky to it. However, I was freshly in puberty and brought up in West Germany. Therefore, I had little understanding for that procedure, made a riot and by the time, my dad had made to go in that pool everyone’s eye was upon me. Each of us got a kimono afterwards, were seated on the ground and a 10-course menu started. Each course served with rice wine. As I was still mad at my dad I didn't say a word anymore, so nobody actually noticed me getting more and more drunk amongst all the grown ups. They had to shuffle me in the cab and I am not sure if my mum ever was told...

Heh some good one there and very funny daveym.

I am sure I would have been able to laugh about mine if it wasn't for the police record. It was 3 years ago and I was at a party with about 30 people playing drinking games. It was the kind of bring a bottle party but some how everyone had brought bottles of Tequila, Vodka and stuff like that. When it came to an end I certainly didn't seem like the worst off person there and was happy to make my way home on the bus at 3am.

I remember getting on the bus, sitting down but that's it. The next thing I remember is waking up on the pavement almost completely paralysed. I recognised where I was and it was a part of South London that you really don't want to be seen on your own at 3am so I tried to call 999 but completely failed. There were some people walking past so I asked for help and blacked out again.

Next thing I remember is being carried by 2 police men and being thrown into the back of a van. The journey was extremely uncomfortable. They then checked my pockets, took off my laces, and that kind of thing. Then another black out.

I much later woke up laying on a concrete floor and looking out at a massive puddle of sick. I got up and was mobile enough to work out I had spent the night on the floor of a police cell.

A very nice police woman came and checked on me, asked me if I would like some coffee and if I would like to see a doctor, I told her the coffee would be great but a doctor wasn't needed.

I had been taken to Wandsworth police station after a Saturday night. Anyone who knows Wandsworth and a Saturday night will understand that all the cells were full with nutters. The woman came back and asked if I was well enough to be processed so I said yes. On the way she explained to me that there had been 2 murders that night and both suspects were in the cells, she said that she could tell I wasn't going to cause any trouble so wanted to get me out the way first.

To be honest, all I wanted to do was get out of there so I didn't pay a great deal to what was going on. I remember them telling me while they were taking my finger prints and photos that I was being charged with drunken disorderly but didn't think at the time that I had passed out and so was being wrongly accused. A later realised that they had numbers they needed to reach to prove they were doing their job and I was an easy target.

good one davey ... u definitely the funniest man on flirtbox...go on tell us another one, i bet u got loads....

there is a video circulating round my friends of me trying to give a serman drunk at the front of the travelodge in my boxers with the use of a bible from my room. Blasphomy thy name is scott mcintosh

I got really drunk on a school trip in France...

Last year we went to this religious camp place called Taize

It was really fun actually haha :] but having not ate much while we were there, and being let loose in Paris for 2 days on the way home...

Our two lovely teachers we were with took us out for a meal in a posh restaurant...

Being vegetarian meant there was limited options in what there was available... i chose vodka pasta...!!!NOT GOOD! LOL. didn't eat much of that, as it was horrible... but our teachers baught us lots of wine... wine goes straight to my head... it was also happy hour on MASSIVE COCKTAILS.

I preceded to drink A LOT.

Got so drunk, I fell down the stairs repeadedly on trips for a wee lol.

Preceded to tell my teachers about how I lost my virginity, and for some reason how much I wanted to try LSD.

I was so drunk, my male teacher actually had to CARRY ME back to our hostel

Where I threw up my stomach lining before passing out in the toilet.

Teacher had to force open the door to make sure I was still alive...

I was... just had my pants round my anckles haha! nice! lol!

And the next day I had to wake up and face everyone. Was so hungover though I barely remember it! lol! Bless them though the teachers had banned anyone from talking about the nights episodes lmao. But I was dragged up the eiffol tower with a killer hangover .

Saturday just gone, out down Matlock with my little sis, jacked up on mr daniels and diet coke, one rather demure looking (from flirtbox pics anyway!) young lady, in a rather low cut top (the one i wore to the last meet) decided to do the running man ... right in the middle of the dance floor, certain things bouncing up and down and rather a lot of males saying well done for that to me afterwards ... i wonder why they were saying that, it wasnt that good!!
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FoxyHan - Proof that it's not all grim up north

One day after college me and my friend went to the nearest pub (which happens to be one of my favourites, aswell ) and..proceeded to get very, very drunk.

After a while, some blokes started chatting to us, and we all decided to go off to another pub..

Me and my friend decided to get a quick drink before we all headed off to this pub..and.....I almost walked into one of the wooden frames that are in the middle of the Sal....Not only did I tell it to watch where it was going......in front of the guys.....but on the way back from the bar...apologised for before!
I could have died of embarassment when I realised..

Anyway. We left the sal, and started walking along up to Tap. I decided that I no longer wanted to walk. I sat down in the middle of the pavement - after it had been raining, so when people finally convinced me to get off my arse and move - I had a wet arse!
So. I got up, carried on walking, and then we saw another group of lads - by then, the other guys had gone ahead up to tap - that were on a stag do. They were all wearing glittery hats. As I like shiney/glittery things, I asked one of the blokes for a hat. He basically said no...somehow I DID end up with the hat. It involved taking my shoes off, and running pretty quickly after i'd stolen it!

I still have the hat

We finally made it to tap an hour later (yes..a whole hour for a 15 minute walk!!!) where we were told we were too drunk to be served.

I tried SO hard to prove I wasn't drunk..apparently I didn't manage to convince them Also, to make things worse...I made some rather.....rude suggestions to them if they served me! It didn't work and we were promptly kicked out! We weren't barred though, luckily. I just get reminded once in a while whilst I'm in there

Yep, doesn't sound that funny in writing..but it was.

Back when I was doing A-level biology we went on a week long trip to Devon to do a coastal ecology project. The place we were staying at was like a prison, with electronic coded doors and everyone split up and staying in different parts of the complex. Anyway, luckily I'd brought a screwdriver set, expecting it would come in handy, so we soon got round the locks.

One evening me and two mates decided to have a look at the beach and find an American tank a couple of miles down the road. So equiped with a large torch and a bottle of foul tasting rum we set off into the night.

By the time we got to the tank we were quite drunk. My mate climbed onto the tank. There was a loud DONG! Ouch! He'd fallen into the turret! We took a few photos of him straddling the gun, then headed home.

On the way back it started to rain cats and dogs so we made use of our only source of shelter - a pay and display machine in a small car park. As we sheltered there I pushed the buttons on the machine and it lit up. Then I heard a voice, and being pretty drunk I assumed it was an interactive machine giving instructions. I shushed my friend so I could hear it but was quickly rebuked - the voice had been my other mate squatting the other side of the machine!

As we approached the prison, a van came out the drive. I dropped behind some long grass, one mate tried to hide behind a hedge and hooked his crotch on some barbed wire, the other mate threw himself into a ditch full of stinging nettles.

He wasn't happy in the morning