I'm a deep thinker, give me a subject and I'll think deeply about it, but not now 'cos it's not good for bedtime.......

You have no idea how much of a breakthrough that was for me too.......

I know that's what you meant... As I said, people suck and it's hard to get used to it, presuming you had a good home and got a fair education. And again... Even if you didn't have a good home, there was still someone feeding you and such, even if they fecked up up when you got older. (that's why one feels needy)

Oh and one other thing, as we're on the deep thinking... I've said this before around here me thinks but... The time you spend with someone/something or thinking about that thing = the level to which it will affect you.

I really try to avoid labeling myself as much as i can as when you tell people stuff like "i am this" or "i am that" they tend to associate all kinds of nonsense with that and with you, but well....here goes....i would say i am a free thinker, rather than a deep thinker.

I never really followed any kind of way of thinking, i have never taken part in religion, apart from attending other peoples funerals, weddings etc. I don't feel the need to have a preset set of rules to live by. In my life i have been quite defiant in a lot of ways, i don't think purposely for the sake of defiance, but i just never let people make me do anything i don't want to. Obviously there are certain things you must conform to in order to integrate into society and i do those, and that is why i am now in a job that i enjoy which is well paid and i am also much happier in my life. But there have been times in my life where i have been defiant of authority and if i hadnt been then things could have been a lot different for me.

I was only ever mugged once in my life, or attempted mugged, i was on a bus on my way home one night, this guy asked me for my coat, he had a knife and a friend with him, but this was a new coat, i was only 16 at the time. To cut a long story short, i took my coat off as if to give it to him, but then i grabbed the inner pocket of the coat and ripped it all the way up the front of the right hand chest panel and threw it on the floor. I said " you want the coat, there it is" these guys had already rung the bell on the bus, so they were looking at me then turned and said i was a crazy mother f*cker and they ran off the bus. I could easily have got stabbed but there was no way i was going to give up my coat for them, i would rather have ruined it than do that.

Anyway free thinking, to me just means that i have my own ideas about stuff, whether or not somebody else has used those ideas before and i havent heard about it, i dont care because i always think for myself. I always dressed a little different to my friends, that can be proved from the old photos of me my friends have uploaded on facebook

in 1997 i had a serious illness which needed medical treatment for 18 months. after that in 1999 i lost my mum to cancer, then 7 months later my father to heart disease. those five years during and after that time were extremely painful to me, and took a lot of courage and strength to move on in my life, but i managed it and i feel that those very bad experiences shaped me into a better person. By better person i mean better able to cope with what life throws at me, for a time i felt that i could take on pretty much anything, and i probably still do. Anybody that wants to tell me that i think too much or that i get too involved in things is missing the point, because that is who i am. If somebody doesn't like to think alot and it gets them through their life, then i am happy for them, but i dont do that and i am happier this way than theirs because i have different needs to theres.

Anyway i will finish writing my biography in here another day

If any of you have read the novel "Into the Wild" or seen the movie here's what I post to you...

"How do you view society?"

My answer:

I don't think it's that bad, we've come a long way in some lights and taken a few steps back in others. I still think the world could " look out for the next guy a little more." You know, put a little more value on other's lives rather than thinking they're all high and mighty. We're humans not wolves in this aspect.

That and I had hoped our society's conscience would have outruled hate by now. Even with some who pray to a god, they have hate in their hearts and they claim to be good. It's just sad when everyones screaming about how people need religion when a lot of religious people don't follow their own moral code.

On the same token I wouldn't mind living out in the wilderness like Chris McCandles in "into the Wild". Though I wouldn't do it to escape society, ( because I claim to be no better or worse ) I would do it to reach back to my native american ancestors and love the world we live in as much as the people living in it. I think that's what would make us better as a society. Stop being so self-centered as to what's going on in the human race today (especially with all the shallow reports on what the 'beautiful people' are up to), and focus on our home.