If you are getting bleak days, Jodie, my advise is to work on building on some accomplishments so, even in your bleakest hour, you can recall what you've achieved and therefore what can't be taken from you.

I learnt ropes, boats and walking from the cubs and the sea scouts, I learnt first aid from the St. John's Ambulance cadets and from table-top (pre-computer) role-playing games I learnt problem solving, using my imagination and teamwork.

Now days I have my degree, my patents and a life-time rich in experiences to look back on.

Also try to get yourself back to how to you feel you should be by working on weak areas. I was an extrovert that was bullied, beaten and intimidated into becoming a introvert. Public speaking became one of my hobbies, in order to counter this.

Essentially as you seek out a sensible date, seek to build yourself up as well.

Good luck!

For me, having something to look forward to helps me get through a period of depression. Past achievements are regarded as irrelevant when I'm seriously depressed. Similarly, goals just feel unreachable. What I do is have something prepared that is completely inevitable, eg a booked holiday, to focus on. It has to be rock solid though! You know how your mind can pick a positive thought to pieces

In that case, Ed, I'd tend to research credible and rewarding things to do while you're in a good spell and keep some aside for very bleak days. A kind of "break glass in case of depression" thing.

This is where the maxim "know thyself" become useful and, let's face it, "know thy local surroundings" is pretty good too. I use it as an excuse to walk, explore, find new routes and new resources.

Exercise is the key for me. If I have plenty of excuses to walk and cycle then I keep depression at bay and I'm able to do far more. Being able to walk for a couple of hours and think nothing of it does help though, some people aren't as mobile. This gives me more range and more places to walk to.

Hi , I'm sercan age 25. I just moved to Oxford from the turkey. Just looking to make some friends and find out where the hangouts, shopping, good eats, etc. are. Feel free to add me to your friends list if you'd like. I literally know nothing here. I've never been here and other than my new roomate I don't really know anyone. see you

what I will say, is *please* dont feel guilty about how you feel, your down days etc. You have every right to that, and if anyone whatsoever does not respect that, show them the door! Big hugs to you. xx[/quote]

u are more than Right
if u are talking about Dating, that include the word Understanding.. if he doesn't understand, he doesn't Care, so NO Dating......

relation is about related.....conected.... u are not interested .. u are not conected....

Hi Jodie!

I think the advice given at the beginning of the thread to be honest from the start is really true...

I starting seeing a guy a while ago, and everything was fine for the first few weeks but then I began to discover that he had depression and was struggling with everything...and the closer we got the more I could see what a problem he had...the thing is, it was the first relationship for me after a really messy and painful break-up, I'd kind of avoided it for ages, but decided to give this guy a go...he couldn't bring himself to go and get any help, and unfortunately I wasn't in a place where I could give enough of the support that he needed (and we had distance to contend with as well)...so we ended up splitting up, and the whole thing did neither of us any good, especially him!

I don't think you should avoid getting into a relationship...but just be very wary of what you are getting into...and be totally honest with them, or you'll just end up in even more of a pickle!

Hope that helps?? x

This talk of good nutrition and excercise is all well and good. (and sound advice).
But I think you are missing the point that Ed has made, on really bad days you dont give a stuff about nutrition and if you cant get out of bed how the hang you gonna muster up the motivation to go for a chuffing long walk or jog/play golf etc.??
REAL depression is not the same as feeling a bit down and "blah" which even the weakest mind can if pushed give oneself a kick up the arse and get going.
Really bad depressive days that Ed mentions, you can only really go with the flow and wait til you have the mental energy to fight it.

I apologise for not making my point very clear before. Rocketgirl is correct - a period of true, deep depression is so severe that it is physically debilitating. It is no longer a case of mind over matter and I would compare it to having not eaten for several days. For me it was not physically painful, I didn't have a headache as I would if I hadn't slept for days, it just felt as though I had no energy in my body at all. Attempting any exercise was pointless because I would not be able to sustain it for more than a few minutes. Anything positive was met with two recurring thoughts: 'what's the point?' and 'I just want to die.' Positive ideas become meaningless.

Concentration is also a problem as your mind churns over negative thoughts. It's difficult to distract yourself from your own mind, if you see what I mean. Outside factors are irrelevant, nothing can cheer you up, and you become quiet and reclusive.

Eventually that length of rope in the shed starts to look very inviting.