As Inspired by Darkhorse I’ve decided to marry anyone who asks today:

So here are my good points:

I don’t smell (much)
1 serviceable liver
All my own teeth
All my own hair (for now)
Low maintenance (will eat anything out of your fridge even the out of date stuff)
You wont have to watch sports on TV as id much rather get drunk on your sofa watching porn
Will clean your toilet after I throw up in it
Will return the duvet cover to you in bed once things start to turn blue
Will cook you strange things and expect you to eat it


Bad Points:

I will stare at your friends breasts
I will scratch and pick when your not looking
I’ll never use a coaster
I will fart and giggle like a school kid
I will eat your muller rice and any cheese and onion crisps you leave around the house.
I will want sex even when you have a headache
I wont go shopping with you unless bribed with sex
Will expect you to dress like little red ridding hood and spank me with a wet fish

Any Takers ?

me
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Right Mr

I will take you up on your offer

Hows your cooking,cleaning,washing,shopping,ironing and keeping me satisfied at all times skills then????

my cooking very good
my cleaning also good
shopping, ...well as long as you dont mind me making a 3 hour pub stop on the way home

as for keeping you satisfied, ...i usually just roll over and fart after is that ok ?

Yeah thats fine...so whens the date then????

At least you can get me in the pub on your way home then since i will be spending all your money in it anyway...save me having to get a taxi

my money!? ....i was hoping to spend all yours thats why i want to get married

fine... just blatently ignore me.. XD
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Sorry Pirak but ive got big boobs so i win This is Jim we are talking about you know

Welcome back by the way....where you been hiding???

belguim ;D
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sorry pirakk, ...i am looking for a complete bitch tho , ..maybe you should list your kinky qualities?

erm.. kinky qualities.. take it to the sex forum, im not easy
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Ha ha ha....good answer Pirak