Okay, as warned this thread is going to contain a lot of shit (doesnt every other thread on here? LOL...sorry)...

so if you are easily offended, or dont like talking about anal secretions, nob off now!

So there are lots of variations on the words for pooh, and things to do with the bum.

some that i find funny are...

Words to do with the bits of pooh that apparently cling to your anal beard (er...if you have one) are:

Winnits.
Clinkers.
Clagnuts.

Different kind of poohs you can have...

Ghost Poo = That's the kind where you feel the poo come out, have poo on the toilet paper, but there is no poo in the toilet.

Clean Poo = The kind where you poo it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poo = The kind where you wipe your bottom 50 times and it still feels unwiped. So you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.

Second Wave Poo = It happens when you're done pooing, you've pulled your pants / dress up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poo some more.

Brain-Hemorrhage Through-Your_Nose-Poo = The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke. ROFL.

Richard Simmons Shit = The kind wher you poo so much that you lose 30 pounds.

Corn Poo = Self-explanatory

Lincoln Log Poo = The kind of poo that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.

Drinker's Poo = That is the kind of poo that you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the treadmarks left on the bottom of the toilet.

"Gee, I wish I could poo" Poo = It's the kinds where you want to poo, but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Shit = That's the kind where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poo = The kind that comes out of your anus so fast that ur butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

Liquid Poo = The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time chronically burning your tender anus.

Mexican Food Poo = A class all its own.


I am actually in tears at my desk.

i can breathe i'm laughing too much

Sunflower seed pooh - after eating whole sunflower seeds the husks cut your anus on the way out

There should be a special mention for the Guinness poo, which occurs the morning after getting pissed on Guiness. I had this the other week and it was like my arse was chewing chocolate.

kiwi poo - eat too much kiwi fruit and it comes out green with black pips all through it

Ever eaten an egg?

Moose - you will never never never put me off strongbow. If it came out that actually, it was donkey piss i would still drink it. If it came out that it was some bloke in a cellar shitting it out, as long as they strained out the lumps and added the fizz, i would STILL drink it.

And Eda - yes. I have. But Eggs have Shells. My strong bow shit does not.