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Home >> Advice >> Would this be a good idea or a disaster?

17.01.2008, 07:05 quote

minijellytot

My best mate has asked if he can move in with me, and I'm a little worried that being under each others feet 24/7 (we work together as well) may ruin our friendship,

Has anyone been in a similar position? Did it work or were you giving each other evils over the tomato sauce at teatime?

 

17.01.2008, 07:58 quote

Anonymous

I think you have to be careful, as a friend of mine did this. He's male, she's female. It started out ok, they pretty much lived their own lives, even to the point of separate cupboards for food, etc. But it became difficult when either of them were 'entertaining' as obviously there was only one lounge so the other had to go to their bedroom.

And then it got to the stage where he dreaded going home as he knew the boyfriend would be there. Just think carefully as they are no longer friends. Sad

 

17.01.2008, 10:49 quote

sexyscorpio81
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 13 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Edinburgh
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Hi Jellytot,

I've shared flats with lots of different people, guys & girls, some were good friends, some began as strangers.

I don't think there's a set answer to this about whether it would work or not as each situation is different.

All i can say is that the times i've shared with someone without discussing expectations first & just assumed everything wouild work out ok because we were such good friends, was when things generally went wrong.

You need to discuss lifestyle first, find out how clean/messy he is, does he like having friends round for parties, has he lived with other people before (i think it can be difficult if your used to living independently & you share with someone that's had parent or partner doing everything for them). Try and arrange money side of things from the beginning especially if you own the flat so paying bills dont ever become an issue - set up direct debit.

Start off with an agreeable time for him to live there, 6 months possibly and review how you both feel after that time. Also agree how much notice you need to give if either of you want to move on. If you establish all the money stuff & ground rules in the same way you would if you were going to share with someone you didn't know as well it should make things much easier.

if you have a gut feeling that it's not a good idea though maybe you should trust that

 

17.01.2008, 12:31 quote

annmarie5988

think it depends on how strong your friendship is.??? .............. I would suggest having a chat about stuff before you make a decision. If it's your place then you should lay out some grounds rules etc, sounds really stuffy but really important, so you both now the score ............. I shared a place with my mate years ago, everything was fine until i got a boyfirend, then things got a little bit awkard ............ we are still friends though. Just make sure you really think about it first, cus if your already having doubts, it might be a bad move ............. Smile

 

17.01.2008, 12:42 quote

minijellytot

Cheers for the advice ladies Very Happy

We have got the boring bit out of the way, and discussed the rent and general living together rules.

I was more concerned that we would drive each other nuts, but we have decided to give it a trial period. As long as he doesnt use my moisturiser or eat my jaffa cakes I think we will be fine

 

17.01.2008, 16:28 quote

Anonymous

your moisturiser will be safe but your jaffa cakes will definitely disappear, ...i'd hide them if i were you

 

17.01.2008, 16:39 quote

Anonymous

personally i think it might be a good idea him being male and you being female and your both friends already. I couldnt see me moving in with any of my best friends, as much as we get on great - i reckon we'd bug each other after a bit. Good luck whatever you decide Jo Very Happy

 

17.01.2008, 19:35 quote

minijellytot

Leglover227 wrote:
your moisturiser will be safe but your jaffa cakes will definitely disappear, ...i'd hide them if i were you


I already have found a hidding place.

 
 
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