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Home >> Advice >> Why do women do this to themselves?
16.12.2006, 20:49 quote
you can get social services to acknowledge the emotional abuse and red just somebody selfharming doesnt mean they arent capable of raising wellbalanced kids its the relationship his ex is in that could tear them apart and nowadays (last3yrs after Victoria Climbie case) ss are capable of taking children to care over witnessing D.V and its after effects (low self esteem,selfharm alcoholism,drug abuse etc)as its proven that they are at risk from mental health problems theirselves sadly its a vicious repetitive cycle that must be broken but legover talk to the sister first,nspcc may help as may ss if she leaves him otherwise she loses kids
16.12.2006, 20:49 quote
you can get social services to acknowledge the emotional abuse and red just somebody selfharming doesnt mean they arent capable of raising wellbalanced kids its the relationship his ex is in that could tear them apart and nowadays (last3yrs after Victoria Climbie case) ss are capable of taking children to care over witnessing D.V and its after effects (low self esteem,selfharm alcoholism,drug abuse etc)as its proven that they are at risk from mental health problems theirselves sadly its a vicious repetitive cycle that must be broken but legover talk to the sister first,nspcc may help as may ss if she leaves him otherwise she loses kids
17.12.2006, 01:14 quote
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| Just heard from the sister of one of my ex’s that my ex is now heavily into BDSM. You probably think, well what’s wrong with that, the problem is that this man she is with now gets off on beating, humiliating and degrading women for his own satisfaction and just doesn’t keep it in the bedroom. I’ve been told he does things like lock her in the car for hours and introduces her to his friends and family as my bitch or slut and I suspect even burned her with a soldering iron.
She was always covered in bruises which I noticed several months before we split up which leads me to believe that she was seeing him then, ..her excuse was that she bruised easily. I don’t have any feeling for her anymore but I do feel sorry for her kids who I was close too, ..she has two teenage girls and to expose them to a man like that who gets off on hurting women is nothing short of sick to me. I’m debating contacting the kids dad to let him know what’s going on. I know she is mentally ill, she’s been on medication since she was 15 and she’s been sectioned twice but I honestly thought she was getting better in the 4 years I was with her. I took care of her through all that time and treated her well but it's obviously not what she wanted. I really can’t understand how any woman can allow herself to be abused like this willingly? |
as far as the kids...do anything you can to get that fcuker thrown in jail. not only is the safety of those kids at stake, your ex needs to be protected. as you say she has mental health issues so she needs someone to fight for her.
17.12.2006, 01:30 quote
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| Just heard from the sister of one of my ex’s that my ex is now heavily into BDSM. You probably think, well what’s wrong with that, the problem is that this man she is with now gets off on beating, humiliating and degrading women for his own satisfaction and just doesn’t keep it in the bedroom. I’ve been told he does things like lock her in the car for hours and introduces her to his friends and family as my bitch or slut and I suspect even burned her with a soldering iron.
She was always covered in bruises which I noticed several months before we split up which leads me to believe that she was seeing him then, ..her excuse was that she bruised easily. I don’t have any feeling for her anymore but I do feel sorry for her kids who I was close too, ..she has two teenage girls and to expose them to a man like that who gets off on hurting women is nothing short of sick to me. I’m debating contacting the kids dad to let him know what’s going on. I know she is mentally ill, she’s been on medication since she was 15 and she’s been sectioned twice but I honestly thought she was getting better in the 4 years I was with her. I took care of her through all that time and treated her well but it's obviously not what she wanted. I really can’t understand how any woman can allow herself to be abused like this willingly? |
This is not BDSM .... this is domestic violence!!!
He is obvioulsy a right piece of work! Find the kids dad and quick, call the sister, call who you can but all three of them need to get some help! What has the sister done about it?
Failing all of that call the police .... under the new DV laws they do not need compliance from the abused party if there is evidence there ...... burning someone with a soldering iron and abusing them verbally in front of other people are NOT sex games, they are just plain abuse!!
17.12.2006, 08:04 quote
| pollyanna37 wrote: |
| under the new DV laws they do not need compliance from the abused party if there is evidence there |
i did not know that, its about time that happened though, too many people suffering in silence, hopefully that new law will help more people out of that situation.
17.12.2006, 10:16 quote
| scottie69 wrote: | ||
i did not know that, its about time that happened though, too many people suffering in silence, hopefully that new law will help more people out of that situation. |
There were HUGE posters all over the tube in the summer Scottie, basically taking the risk out of the abused party being too scared (or co-erced) to make a statement. If the police are convinced then they will prosecute regardless ....... and about bloody time too!
17.12.2006, 21:54 quote
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| Just heard from the sister of one of my ex’s that my ex is now heavily into BDSM. You probably think, well what’s wrong with that, the problem is that this man she is with now gets off on beating, humiliating and degrading women for his own satisfaction and just doesn’t keep it in the bedroom. |
He's clearly tricked her into this relationship. Obviously she gets nothing out of it herself, and has allowed herself to be manipulated like the stupid, gulible fool that most women can be from time to time.
I think she needs a real man (like you perhaps?) to tell her what she really needs.
I bet he told her he loved her or something! In fact, I wonder if he is some kind of master hypnotist, or at the very least an experienced blackmailer.
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| I’ve been told he does things like lock her in the car for hours and introduces her to his friends and family as my bitch or slut and I suspect even burned her with a soldering iron.
She was always covered in bruises which I noticed several months before we split up which leads me to believe that she was seeing him then, ..her excuse was that she bruised easily. |
What on earth can he have done to get her to tolerate this? Do you know if he's a drug dealer? Does he have any friends who are pharmacologists? It sure sounds like drug-reinforced hypnosis.
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| I don’t have any feeling for her anymore but I do feel sorry for her kids who I was close too, ..she has two teenage girls and to expose them to a man like that who gets off on hurting women is nothing short of sick to me. I’m debating contacting the kids dad to let him know what’s going on. |
You're probably too late for the kids - they're almost certainly already dead, and buried under the back garden. Monsters like this guy don't usually waste their time. I think you should inform the father, as he'll need to think about funeral arrangements and the like.
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| I know she is mentally ill, she’s been on medication since she was 15 and she’s been sectioned twice but I honestly thought she was getting better in the 4 years I was with her. I took care of her through all that time and treated her well but it's obviously not what she wanted. |
You mean - obviously she wasn't able to decide for herself what she wanted (a strong stable guy like you) and now she's fallen victim to someone who has no qualms about using hypnosis and/or drugs to make her want what he wants.
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| I really can’t understand how any woman can allow herself to be abused like this willingly? |
If you can't understand it, then she must be deranged in some way. (This is a standard technique used when psychiatrists make diagnoses.)
It's your responsibility to get hold of some prescription tranquilisers, and administer them to your ex - forcibly if necessary
17.12.2006, 23:08 quote
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| errrm are you on drugs by any chance Compton? if not get some! |
Legover ..... I read and re read Comptons post and I THINK he was attempting some sort of sarcasm!
I could be wrong tho!
17.12.2006, 23:12 quote
Obviously has a few issues of his own doesnt he, perhaps he enjoys beating on women himself
17.12.2006, 23:13 quote
| Leglover227 wrote: |
| Obviously has a few issues of his own doesnt he, perhaps he enjoys beating on women himself |
Or does not know the difference between sex games and abuse?
18.12.2006, 01:49 quote
| compton wrote: | ||||||||||
He's clearly tricked her into this relationship. Obviously she gets nothing out of it herself, and has allowed herself to be manipulated like the stupid, gulible fool that most women can be from time to time. I think she needs a real man (like you perhaps?) to tell her what she really needs. I bet he told her he loved her or something! In fact, I wonder if he is some kind of master hypnotist, or at the very least an experienced blackmailer.
What on earth can he have done to get her to tolerate this? Do you know if he's a drug dealer? Does he have any friends who are pharmacologists? It sure sounds like drug-reinforced hypnosis.
You're probably too late for the kids - they're almost certainly already dead, and buried under the back garden. Monsters like this guy don't usually waste their time. I think you should inform the father, as he'll need to think about funeral arrangements and the like.
You mean - obviously she wasn't able to decide for herself what she wanted (a strong stable guy like you) and now she's fallen victim to someone who has no qualms about using hypnosis and/or drugs to make her want what he wants.
If you can't understand it, then she must be deranged in some way. (This is a standard technique used when psychiatrists make diagnoses.) It's your responsibility to get hold of some prescription tranquilisers, and administer them to your ex - forcibly if necessary |
20.12.2006, 15:17 quote
Talked to her about it and apparently she gets off on being treated this way as she thinks she deserves no better. She is now a complete submissive, ..even rushes home from work to put on a little maids uniform to clean his house top to bottom. Frankly I couldn’t listen to any more as I find the whole thing and her repulsive although I did add before I left if he touches the kids I’ll tear off her head and shit in her dead skull.
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