Just heard from the sister of one of my ex’s that my ex is now heavily into BDSM. You probably think, well what’s wrong with that, the problem is that this man she is with now gets off on beating, humiliating and degrading women for his own satisfaction and just doesn’t keep it in the bedroom. I’ve been told he does things like lock her in the car for hours and introduces her to his friends and family as my bitch or slut and I suspect even burned her with a soldering iron.
She was always covered in bruises which I noticed several months before we split up which leads me to believe that she was seeing him then, ..her excuse was that she bruised easily. I don’t have any feeling for her anymore but I do feel sorry for her kids who I was close too, ..she has two teenage girls and to expose them to a man like that who gets off on hurting women is nothing short of sick to me. I’m debating contacting the kids dad to let him know what’s going on. I know she is mentally ill, she’s been on medication since she was 15 and she’s been sectioned twice but I honestly thought she was getting better in the 4 years I was with her. I took care of her through all that time and treated her well but it's obviously not what she wanted.

I really can’t understand how any woman can allow herself to be abused like this willingly?

You really should contact the kid's dad. Do you feel the kids could be in danger?

She used to self harm all the time to the point I’d have to check her physically every night to see if she’d done anything else, she tried to hide it from me by doing it in places she thought I’d not look. I guess this is the next step. Like I said though I don’t give a f**k about her anymore she’s had 4 years of my life and not getting anymore, just the kids that concern me now. Not sure how to track down their dad but her sister might be able to help out there.

Best bet would be to contact the NSPCC

their web address is http://www.nspcc.org.uk/
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You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

I have no proof they are in physical danger red but it’s the emotional harm I’m worried about, ..like you said though social services won’t do anything about that. I mean what is this saying to them about men? There may come a time when they seek out a man like that because of this.

From what I understand emotionally yes. She didn’t like to talk about it much but said she was made to feel “unloved” by her mother. She craves attention to the point of jumping up and down like a child to make you notice her.

The mind is an odd place. I understand some of what you're referring to as I had related troubles with my ex. Its almost like she felt the need to have a controlling influence as that is all she has ever known. When someone tries to treat them with the respect they deserve, something doesn't feel right to them. They think they're either trying to hide something or worse.

Sometimes though it really does vary. Not everyone into things like BDSM do it for domination. Sometimes they do actually like it (I have a friend like this though its not exactly my cup of tea!).

In this case, it does sound like he is a prize cunt, as to what to do about it - unfortunately the only way is for her to have a friend to guide her to seeing/allowing herself to admit just how bad it is. Either that or have someone insert a nice hot soldering iron into several of his orifices..

if i knew where to find him beddo i already would have