i met somebody who i realise now must have some real issues as i was verbally abused n emotionally hurt by him whenever he was drunk yes i do know its him n his problems not me but my self esteem is truly battered after this even though i dumped him and i want some advice on building it up again. It hit me so hard as it was my first attempt at being involved in 2 whole years and the last relationship before then was traumatic to say the least violence n abuse i thought i was over the abuse n wouldnt possibly meet another tosspot but i did it makes me feel so stupid n naive

but your not stupid or naive, everyone makes mistakes, theres alot of bad, and good people out there, its just the chances that time wasnt in your favour
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try to look under their skin...instead of seeing as u want them to see, see them as they are. even the most smartest person can do mistakes, even einstein!, failure is not destination, more like a milestone telling u tat ur moving

i thankyou for both your comments but still really low

Aww cookie i'm sorry to hear your having a bad time. The best way to build up self esteem and confidence is to get it by acheiving something that you don't need arppoval from some 1 else specially guys! E.g if you were getting happy off of love and compliments then you need to head in a different direction and stay clear of him internet dating and men in general and work on getting you to love your self is there any hobbies or evening classes you could take even a new hair cut it always makes me feel better

Hoped i helped a little Lilly x

As hard as it is you kind of have to suspend self-belief and keep trying, the right person will give you the self belief and not take it away. And the more you try it the easier it is gets recognise when it's not right and walk away.

Try to get out more, maybe to the local park. Spend more time with your daughter.

There are lots of good people out there. Socialising will help you build your confidence and spending time with your daughter will help you two get closer together and her happiness will be your happiness (& vice versa).

Keep reminding yourself that your a good person and any1 would be lucky to be with you.

rhanks golden tiger the kids fill my life anyway as it is

yeh your right i had abuse all last night off of him am fat (am a size10) yiou think of it he will have had saud it last night he evil

Remeber it is not your FAULT. My dad is not so great and it makes it really hard even still to get past all of it I know. One thing my family did just after the grand divorce was to go out and do something special. Like going on a little holliday. I have also kept a journal in which I would write just a couple of things that were great about me. I tried not to repeat them and with help and support from freinds and family things got better. Sometime it gets really tough, but remember the tough things make you stronger. Don't let anyone tell you you are not good enough, your fat, extra. They are the ones who are really are ugly. If they can't see how beautiful you truely are then they are blind and full of crap.

That's aweful but at least you can see that's it's not you, it's them and their problems so you are making steps even though it may feel as though you've taken a step back. Have you thought about trying a part time college course or something like that, something you do for you, something that'll make you feel good inside and it may just build up self esteem. It's good to have your own thing going on and not put everything into a relationship.