The key thing with flirtbox is that it has forums and so you can demonstrate that you're an interesting person without a lot of "cold call" IMs.

My advice is to participate here, even if it's only in the Fun & Games section, and keep an eye on the people who have "visited" you. Check their profiles, tag interesting women with a "would like to meet" and see what happens. Note that people need to check this status, there are no alerts.

Remember if you treat the place like a standard dating "meat market" site you may find you are simply not the choice pick yourself.

At least here prospective partners or female friends can build up an idea of who you are (always be yourself) and why you are worth responding to.

well i have to say i am being picky and if a guy is a bezillion miles away (this is an exageration (spelt wrong : /)) then i dont reply, also if i read what they r looking for n its jus casual love, i usually think meh why bother xD

I joined this site a while back, very green when it came to free online "dating" sites, and started by reaching out to make some new friends.

I sent out several messages to people that seemed interesting after reading their profile.

Never got any replies. I have to say, I've always politely responded to all my messages on here, unless they're blatantly spam, but as a bloke I'm sure we don't get anywhere near the number the ladies do. Plus there is the childish messages and junk to deal with, making things worse.

So I think the forum is the only way to go. Just fit in and see if you gel with anyone. "Cold calling" as someone above put it, is a sure fire way of getting nowhere here! or so it seems.

Still, the forum looks great with plenty of discussion and interesting subjects to keep us all entertained!

hmm I must be one of the good guys(girls) then.. I reply.. even to the scammers (only to let them know I've reported them lol). I get the rude messages, the too young/old messages, and I get the interesting might just see where this goes message. Which means a date once he can actually get here through the snow.

It's often impossible to meet the demands that we generate a witty, intelligent, thoughtful, inspiring message when the only thing on a profile is a photo, occupation, and bands they're interested in. No personal information to be found anywhere. So the only appropriate message one can write is, "so, really -- tell me about yourself?"

I don't know. When it hit 100 unreplied messages it just froze.

I wonder if one of the reasons you don't seem to get a reply is technical cockups of the site! Ive noticed a few guys saying I haven't replied, when I actually have, and the message isn't in my outbox. Happened quite a lot. And I've also noticed that messages in my inbox are "opened".. so I don't realise there is a new one waiting. Just a thought.

Yeah, I commented in the help section that sometimes my new messages to me arrive marked "opened" so I dont know they're there.
Gremlins at work again!

It is sometimes very frustrating not getting replies.

What with evil Message Munching Monsters afoot of the server, one doesn’t even know whether the person has actually received your finely crafted and witty message or not. It’s a bit like sending text messages, one assumes that if one clicks ‘send’ that the other person will receive it. Of course, one can’t send a follow-up message asking if they have received the first one, as that would be tantamount to stalking.

Another possible argument for not getting replies might be that the recipient is worried that their response might be misinterpreted and posted in the "Post you're dirty/weird/funny messages here! Thread." for all and sundry to mock and pick the bones of (As a whispered aside, I, for one, would neither bother replying to or send a message with dating intention to anyone who I know has posted in the "Post you're dirty/weird/funny messages here! Thread.", as it shows a lack of integrity; I don't care if this offends anyone, it is a moral issue; individuals may do what they want to with their private messages of course, but personally, I think the emphasis should be on the word 'private', regardless of the nature of the content of message).

I hope you don’t think that I wasn’t having a dig at you (or anyone else), just giving one of the reasons that I personally might not reply to a message.

Actually, my post should really have gone in the ‘deal breakers’ thread (along with all my other little deal breakers )

Back to not getting replies, it has all been said on the forum before, at some point. The nuts and bolts of it? People will reply if they want to. Or not.

The fortunate few can afford to pick and choose who they reply to. Sometimes people don’t reply, even with a ‘no thanks, not interested’ message because they don’t want to get into a game of message ping pong about *why* they are not interested.

/* I don’t want a bright pink jumper. If I see one in the window of a shop I wouldn’t bother going in and asking the price, or finding out what sizes they have it in */