Hi everyone, I am in need of some advice here as I’ve simply run out of ideas on what to do.

I’m a 21 year old male and my best friend is a 26 year old female and she is married. We’ve been best friends for years and years, however very recently we both admitted that we are both very much in love with each other.

I’ve always kept it quiet because I don’t want to ruin our friendship, however it slipped out one day and she admitted she felt the same way.

Now the problem is she say’s she is no longer in love with her husband and can’t trust him anymore, but she doesn’t feel leaving him is the right thing to do. She said she is prepared to leave her husband for me, and she wants to spend the rest of our lives together. But she is scared because we cannot guarantee our relationship would last forever.

Now she thinks having a baby with her husband would solve all her problems and she will just fall out of love with me.

I’m still in best friend mode here, and my honest advice for her was that she should not leave her husband for me, but leave him because she is no longer in love with him. And I told her that brining a baby into a loveless marriage was totally out of the question.

As her best friend I’d do anything for her, and my advice is she leaves her husband because she wants to and then just go with the flow.

She doesn’t know what to do and keeps coming to me for advice…

What should we do? Its putting a great strain on our friendship because she gets so jealous if I even talk to another woman around her.

There is a lot and I mean a lot of sexual tension between us, but I have promised her, and I know I would do this... that I will make sure nothing will happen between us while she is married.

I don’t want to loose her from my life as 80% of it I share with her (we even work together!) I am happy to stay best friends, but to be with her would be tremendous. However I only want what’s best for her as her best friend, not what’s best for me.

Many Thanks for the help…

I think what needs to happen is all perfectly clear, and you seem to know it all yourself. You've kept a great headon your shoulders there. The only thing is convincing your best friend that you're right. Convincing her won't be easy because she may she all of your motivations as selfish.
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I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

You are right to not take it any further until she has left her husband. It will be difficult for her, as not only her own feelings of guilt, sadness, failure etc but the feelings of her family and other close friends around her who may not approve of her leaving her husband.
Help her leave him, if she really wants to, but take it from someone who knows, starting relationships with people who are not single in the first place puts you in a very vulnerable position until they are sure that making that break was the right thing for them to do.

I think she should leave her marriage because she is no longer in love with her husband. I think having a baby whilst she feels as she does is stupid... if she does that, she'll probably end up spending the rest of her time, wrongly 'staying together for the sake of the child' ....and how many years will this tie her up in a loveles marriage??? You sound a very good friend.
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She seems too immature to carry on with this marriage if she thinks a baby will solve it. But maybe she wants a baby cos she still loves her husband, otherwise why would you want to! I also think she is holding onto you as her alternative in case it goes wrong with the husband. And to get jealous if you so much as look at a girl seems ridiculous as she is obviously having her cake and eating it!! Hardly fair to her 'very good friend' is it! If I was the husband and my wife was spending all that time with someone (you say 80% of your time is with her) I'd be pretty cool in a marriage too.

walk away !!

be a shoulder to cry on IF the marriage goes tits up, but until then steer clear.

Anyone that thinks bringing a child into the world just to save a shit relationship ISN'T worth the hassle you would go through. It does indeed sound very much like she wants to have her cake and eat it.

If she truely is your best friend and vice versa, you should be able to walk away and she will understand why.

Just my 2p's worth of course, it just gets me down a bit when i read peoples stories about how they got fucked over and used
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I don't think walking away is the answer... Why on earth would you walk away? You people have been such good friends for so long... Now... Things happen... People change... You don't just screw a very good friendship because things have changed...

Anyways... Until she makes the decision to leave her husband, you've got nothing to do... It's her decision... Regardless of whether she wants to stay in the marriage, have a baby, whatever... It's her decision. And if she wants to stay in the marriage, I'd say it's pretty obvious who/what won, regardless of your mutual feelings.

What you could do though... Is to tell her that she has to make a decision... And she has to do it soon. If she decides to stick with her husband and such, what you need to do is maybe leave it alone for a while and try to overcome your "more than friend" feelings for her, maybe even meet some people (chicks) and try to forget about it so you can save your friendship.

And if, eventually, you feel like you CANNOT get over your feelings for her in anyway and you cannot look at her as your best friend (but more) anymore, then and only then you should walk away for a larger period of time OR end your relationship.

However that obviously wouldn't be the case, as you said you wouldn't mind keeping the friendship as it is, but it would be "tremendous" to take it to more.

Sorry man, but you are lame! If you loved her, you´d tell her you want to be with her and you would stop giving advice!!
If you just wanted to be her friend above all, you wouldnt confess your feelings for her.

So what you are trying to do is be everything and nothing!! Choose a side and be consequent!! otherwise she won´t respect you either as a friend or a partner