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Home >> Advice >> Tiredness is turning my life into a feedback loop
15.01.2010, 22:25 quote
I recently dropped out of college (was on the wrong degree, now applied to change my degree). Now I'm at home, I'm so discontented with my life, and have so many things I need to do to put my life straight, but I feel so tired all the time, I can't get the energy to change things. And because I don't have the energy to change things, I just get more and more tired. Could I be anaemic, or is it just psychological?
One thing that particularly oppresses me is that I've never had a relationship (or even a fling) with anybody, I was always a bit of a geek at school, and although I've changed quite drastically since then (in appearance) and there's nothing stopping me, I just don't have the drive to put myself in situations where I would meet someone. (I'm gay and nobody seems to realise that, and I spend most my life in awkward situations with female friends who turn out to be attracted to me, and obviously I don't feel the same way back). I feel very alone with this, and wonder if there's anyone else out there experiencing anything similar?
15.01.2010, 22:34 quote
Sounds like depression. Get to a doctor.
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16.01.2010, 01:09 quote
Have you had any recent illnesses? Did you find college to be particularly stressful?
I found university to be very stressful, and had constant anxiety and regular nightmares for years while I was a student, and for years before that when I was at school. Eventually, I think the stress wore down my immune system; I caught a nasty nasal infection on the flight back from a field trip, and then a string of colds, and ended up with a debilitating post-viral malaise / chronic-fatigue syndrome / whatever you want to call it, which took me about three years to mostly recover from, and I'm still not 100%.
I saw my GP, got referred to a psychiatrist and endocrinologist, had various lab tests done, tried a bunch of different anti-depressants (which had horrible side-effects and didn't do the slightest bit of good, though other people in different situations and with different neurochemical makeups may respond more favourably), kept myself physically active as much as possible and basically explored every avenue at my disposal, but it ultimately came down to a painstakingly slow natural recovery. There's plenty more to my story, but it's long and complicated, and one pertinent moral of it is that you should see a doctor if you're concerned about your health.
I'm also in the situation of never having had a relationship, in no small part due to social awkwardness, although I have had various flings and casual encounters over the years. I used to be a bit bitter about not having had the experience of a stable, long-term relationship with someone, since I felt that I was missing out on something important, but it stopped bothering me at some point. Now I'm fairly content with my current lifestyle; there's not much room for a serious relationship in it and I no longer look for one, although I do still give a little thought to what I'm missing out on from time to time.
16.01.2010, 08:56 quote
I agree with WSS’s advice and lostinthought’s excellent post: Go and see your GP.
Set your mind at rest as to whether it’s physical or mental, at least you will know how to deal with it. But don’t just seek professional help, talk to your family and friends too. Don’t assume they will be able to read the silences, or absences, or your body language, etc: talk to them! And if your female friends are approachable, then maybe you should go back to the ones you’d really like as friends and talk to them too. Don’t try and deal with it alone.
Lostinthought’s point about keeping physically active is important. You have to make sure you look after your body: so keep regular meal times and eat; burn off the food with some exercise during the day, even if it’s just walking; and get some regular sleep (with no lying about in bed late!
) If you are not going back to college until after the summer, look on the period as a superb opportunity to get yourself fit and ready for the start of term.
In the meantime, if you have any sports, or hobbies, etc – why not use the time to get more involved in those? Especially if they involve the chance of meeting someone.
Good luck.
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