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Home >> Advice >> Tell people I have a kid right away?
13.09.2006, 11:47 quote
Hello peoples,
I have a five year old daughter who I see every weekend..when talking to potential dates etc. (not that my inbox is jumping with requests!) is it best just to mention the fact right away?
It just seems to me that a few folk (ie everyone) have been scared off by it, and I wonder if they got to know me a bit first before they knew it might make a difference?
All answers on a postcard.
13.09.2006, 11:55 quote
nope i tell potential people straight away, if they do a runner because of it that's not the type of person i want to be with
13.09.2006, 11:55 quote
I haven't got kids but i should imagine a person might have the hump if you had been seeing them for a while, and then you tell them you had a kid. I reckon it would be best to tell them from the start. I doubt it matters with one night stands and short affairs though
13.09.2006, 11:58 quote
I'd slip a mention in your profile somewhere Andy, then if someone accuses you of not mentioning her, you can accuse them of not reading your profile properly!
I've found so far that it eventually comes up in conversation. If you can, try to gently steer the conversation round to the subject.
In some ways its probably easier for us women as it's more usual for us to be a package so it comes as slightly less of a shock to the guys when you say you have kids. Unfortunately, the thought of 4 is a bit too much for a lot of guys, so I know how you feel
13.09.2006, 12:05 quote
It seems that telling them straight away is the way to go then..and putting it in my profile seems sensible. If they dont like it then..erm..then I will just stay single and see how they like them apples!
I knew I could rely on the collective wisdom of the boxers!
13.09.2006, 12:17 quote
Well I put it in now...so now my emails will go from none a week to minus one!
Ah well..its all character building
13.09.2006, 13:36 quote
ive got 2 kids and always try and tell them straight away,although i see the kids at weekend there still a big part of my life and only fair to let someone no..if they run then they couldnt have been worth the bother..hope this has helped
14.09.2006, 06:04 quote
| moldypeach wrote: |
| nope i tell potential people straight away, if they do a runner because of it that's not the type of person i want to be with |
I agree with you here carly although I only get to see my babies on the weekend
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14.09.2006, 10:02 quote
Ok i'm single....no kids....hope my opinion still counts( target audience)
i'd agree that it would be worth making a mention on your profile....me thinks the 'problem' with kids is that perhaps as soon as they are mentioned people start thinking about commitment straight away? or perhaps any other problems that might arise (interfering ex's ect)
but its always best to be honest ...it truelyis the best policy!
Hugz xx
14.09.2006, 15:24 quote
I'd agree with the honesty side of things, but perhaps not on the first contact. See if you have something else to talk about first.
I had a few messages before that told me all about their kids and all I could think of was that I to take the mum out, and not the kids so tell me something about you not them.
14.09.2006, 18:04 quote
| spdarkhorse wrote: |
| I'd agree with the honesty side of things, but perhaps not on the first contact. See if you have something else to talk about first.
I had a few messages before that told me all about their kids and all I could think of was that I to take the mum out, and not the kids so tell me something about you not them. |
well to me, it just naturally comes out through the course of normal conversation...after all i am interested in the person as a whole..mind you i would talk lots to that person anyway before meeting them..
15.09.2006, 04:43 quote
Thanks everyone for the great advice...as a result I have put the fact that I have a daughter on my profile and am going to pretty much tell potential dates etc. from the outset...when I get some time to go out and meet some potential dates that is
15.09.2006, 06:27 quote
| andyk4 wrote: |
| Thanks everyone for the great advice...as a result I have put the fact that I have a daughter on my profile and am going to pretty much tell potential dates etc. from the outset...when I get some time to go out and meet some potential dates that is |
I'm sure you will Andy. You seem to have plenty going for you
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