I'm wondering what to do..I was going out with this guy and he told me he loved me. He had 2 kids and was going out with a girl for 11 years but they split up ages ago..All of a sudden when I came on the scene she came along and told him that she wants him back and that she has changed..Now the thing is he loved his ex girlfriend and adores his kids...I really do like him but he said he needs time to think...Should I just let go

I think you have to be careful. You're kind of in a no win situation. If she is the mother of his kids then he will always have a close connection and he will always want to be in his kids lives.

Give him the space but be weary.

Yeah thats what I was thinking...I don't want to split up a family either...But she told him she never loved him that she's going back for the kids so that's why I was holding on... But I think I'll just leave him

yah that is quite a dilenma. personally i've been going through a similar situation but its less complicated with no children involved. for me i find its that you have to make a decision for yourself. does he love you back? the children when they grow up they ll probably hate you for tearing up the family is that what you really want? some people believe in fighting for love to the very end and i believe that is true love but you gotta ask yourself is he really worth it? will there be someone out there better for you? if you're in doubt that you ll ever find someone better how would you know if you're not out there searching or looking at least. this is the stuff im thinking about right now after recently breaking up with my ex and im still looking for the answers i know its hard but thats a step forward to making a decision. hope it helps =P

Yeah u see that's exactly what I'm afraid of...I'd hate to think that I was the one to split up a family...He did say he loved me back and I honestly thought he meant it but I don't know now maybe not....I think it's time to let go...thank you so much for the help...He text me last night telling me that he's miserable but I haven't text him back and I don't think I will....That was a gr8 help thank u honey xx

ahhh thats a shame cause the guy obviously like you but at the end of the day jealousys the only reason shes came back shes holding him back but hes got his kids to think of! i think best bet would cut all ties and move on hope u get it sorted whatever you do

I think he was just making excuses really. But as it was four months ago I think she's probably made her decision.

I was in 'his' position last year, when my ex found out that i was interested in one of the girls at work, she was instantly all over me trying to get me back and saying it would be best for our son etc. When you split up with someone, you usually do so for a reason.. normally people don't change..
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I think yes the X wanted him back , because he had found somelse ..But if you love someone and they find someone else it is hard , especialy if she had the kids ..!!

Sure there would have been a reason why they split in the first place , could have been over just pressures of life ..!

But i think in this case the fact that he needed space would say , he had feelings not just for the children .

The relationship would have possibly been on the rebound , i have done this myself , you need someone to comfort you , and it goes abit far , then when you realise , the X wants you back..!!

If you have history with someone and you have children , you give it another go , No it may not be good for the children , but who knows unless you try ..

So yes best stand back , but if you really love him , you do what you have to do , as we all go through different things in our lives ,and unfortunatley we have to go through these things to get over what ever it is ..

But i know what i would do and that is , yes love him inside but , get on with LIFE AND LIVE IT ..!! There just maybe someone around the corner , when you least expected it ..!!
Love
Pendragon
PS .I think you perhaps have already moved on ..!! And what ever happens GOOD LUCK..!!x