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03.02.2007, 00:41 quote

Papio
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 251 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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Big dilemma here, at least big for me, Last Saturday was one of the worse nights out I’ve ever had. The root of this problem traced back to a female friend, lets call her Sarah for argument (not real name).

The short of it was that she manipulated her friends into taking her where she wanted to go and then abandoned us without a word.

The long of it, she spent over 30 minutes in the girls toilets making us so late that by the time we got to the nightclub the line was around the corner and off in the distance. She then refused to wait in line forcing us back to Kirkcaldy where as soon as she was out of sight she disappeared.

Found out later she ruined our night for some bloke that was texting her. All this I could forgive easily since I very seldom hold grudges and can blame her actions on being rat-arsed.

So what do I do when I find out she apologised, she knew her actions would ruin everyone’s night?

She apologised to the guy who drove, nobody else in the group. I’m finding it hard to fathom a person who does this to friends and then apologies to the only person she can re-use.

I’m I looking at this all wrong?
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Nobody understands the importance of love better than someone who isn’t getting any.

 

03.02.2007, 01:17 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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I do have an answer for this Papio but i will tell you tomorrow cos going into us womens psychie takes too long!!!!

 

03.02.2007, 01:27 quote

ChiefOHara
Joined: 11 Feb 2006 Posts: 2849 Location: Ireland, Cork, Cork
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I remember being part of a group, where the girls involved got the birthday girl involved so drunk she couldn't walk. She reached this state at about 10 pm ish. The reason they got her into this state (i mean they were literally pouring booze down her gullet) was cause they couldn't be arsed going out to a nightclub, and by getting her oscified so quickly meant they could go home early.

I wasn't one bit F**king impressed.

 

03.02.2007, 15:36 quote

Anonymous

I'd drop her and advise the driver friend that he/she is being used.

 

03.02.2007, 16:38 quote

Cidem
Cidem Joined: 31 Dec 2005 Posts: 805 Location: United Kingdom, Channel Islands, Isle of Man
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You're just too nice Red...


The real way is to arrange another night out then as soon as she goes to the loo, you lot bugger off, in the car, to another place miles away leaving her stranded.

She should then get the hint
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You know that look women get when they want love? Me neither! Very Happy

 

03.02.2007, 17:16 quote

Anonymous

Cidem wrote:
You're just too nice Red...


The real way is to arrange another night out then as soon as she goes to the loo, you lot bugger off, in the car, to another place miles away leaving her stranded.

She should then get the hint
ooo, you evil thing!!!... I like it Twisted Evil

 

03.02.2007, 19:00 quote

Papio
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 251 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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redoctober wrote:
I'd drop her and advise the driver friend that he/she is being used.


He knows already, he is at least as smart as I am and I puzzled it though while on three apple sour shots and five double vodka’s. The only person I'm deciding for is me, he’s big enough and ugly enough to make his own choices.

Like Cazzabee said what I need is rationality. Reasons, if I can’t make the scales match in my head I will dimply drop her out of my life like excess garbage. Next time we are in a pub and she spends to long in the toilet I’ll text her and move on, she can catch up and wait in the enormous queue or walk home.

Cidem wrote:
You're just too nice Red...


The real way is to arrange another night out then as soon as she goes to the loo, you lot bugger off, in the car, to another place miles away leaving her stranded.

She should then get the hint


Let me get this right, for ruining our night you want me to drive her to a strange city and dump her there...

I may look cold and heartless but even I’m not that much of a bastard.
_________________
Nobody understands the importance of love better than someone who isn’t getting any.

 

03.02.2007, 21:30 quote

daredeb
Joined: 02 Feb 2007 Posts: 1
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New to this, like your comment. but would not be impressed if it was me!

[quote="Cidem"]You're just too nice Red...


The real way is to arrange another night out then as soon as she goes to the loo, you lot bugger off, in the car, to another place miles away leaving her stranded.

She should then get the hint :-D[/quote]

 

03.02.2007, 23:18 quote

Cidem
Cidem Joined: 31 Dec 2005 Posts: 805 Location: United Kingdom, Channel Islands, Isle of Man
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I appreciate it may sound rather harsh but if somebody can abuse their friends then they deserve everything they get as far as i'm concerned.

There's 4 sets of people in this world you don't do the dirty on:

1. Your family
2. Your friends
3. Engineers
4. Chefs


_________________
You know that look women get when they want love? Me neither! Very Happy

 

04.02.2007, 00:51 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7246 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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Papio hun.

Heartless to say this I know but you obviously realise this person is using you and your friends for what she can get so the only way forward for me (in my opinion) is to tackle the problem head on. If she doesnt like and understand what you have to say then she obviosly aint worth the effort??

One question though, what age is this person??? Is it the maturer outlook on things that changes what we think??? I'm not sure....but if it was me I would say what I think and if they dont like it well tough (you aint really been a friend to me in the first place!!!) Respect is the operative word here

 

04.02.2007, 08:33 quote

Anonymous

Cidem wrote:
I appreciate it may sound rather harsh but if somebody can abuse their friends then they deserve everything they get as far as i'm concerned.

There's 4 sets of people in this world you don't do the dirty on:

1. Your family
2. Your friends
3. Engineers
4. Chefs

what about commis chefs? Wink

 

04.02.2007, 09:32 quote

beddo
Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 308 Location: United Kingdom, England, Merseyside
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I reckon the most useful thing to do is just confront her. Quite often some seemingly selfish and horrible things are byproducts of having to deal with something. On the other hand, they are quite often not too as there are many people around who just don't understand how what they do affects others. You'll only be able to tell which one it is from her responses.

 

22.02.2007, 11:24 quote

PhilReed
PhilReed Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 16 Location: United Kingdom, England, West Midlands
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Well papio, it seems like you care alot more for this friend than they do you and i honestly feel the more you get wrapped up thinking about it, the worse you will feel. The best i would do in your situation is to either have it out with her if she's a friend you've had for along time or just don't bother answering her calls or texts anymore. If she asked why then tell her how you feel.

Hope you get it sorted out. Pity there aren't more sensitive and caring people like you in this world

Phil

 

23.02.2007, 22:53 quote

Papio
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 251 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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PhilReed wrote:
Well papio, it seems like you care alot more for this friend than they do you and i honestly feel the more you get wrapped up thinking about it, the worse you will feel. The best i would do in your situation is to either have it out with her if she's a friend you've had for along time or just don't bother answering her calls or texts anymore. If she asked why then tell her how you feel.

Hope you get it sorted out. Pity there aren't more sensitive and caring people like you in this world

Phil


Phil your an insightful person that’s exactly what I did right up until her grandmother died (ignoring her), having lost one of my own grandmothers I’m not about to hold a grudge over one spoiled night.
_________________
Nobody understands the importance of love better than someone who isn’t getting any.

 

01.03.2007, 23:01 quote

Anonymous

i think,papio that your friend sarah was rather rude with her actions.i think an apology to the whole group is necessary plus an explanation as to why she behaved the way she did.if i did that to any of my friends,i would definitely have to explain myself to them.it only seems fair to me and i'm sure it would to you too.

 
 
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