okay, where to begin.
my girlfriend and i have been in a relationship for 10 years, since we were 9

the first time i caught her lying she said she was going to her friends house for the weekend and i said sure have fun. but i got a cell message(we only had my cell at the time) from a man named XXX he used to hire her to baby sit his daughter but i made her leave the job when she came home and said he threw himself at her...so this is the message i got
"im here, where do i pick you up"
so i told her id walk her to her friends car, she through a huge fit out of know where about trust so i figured id just say fine, than run out and see who it was in the car. i waited 30 seconds after she left and took off after her but she was gone.

i ended up threatening to call the cops on him and she ended up coming back from her friends (mysteriously) she swore on our relationship and the god himself that she was at her friends bla bla bla.

Rays attack: i got her plastered a week later and in her drunken state admitted she lied and she did go with him but only to watch his kid cause she missed her.

the next time i caught her she told me she was leaving work via text and will be home at 12:00am (thats normal)
12:30: she was still at work and was just leaving now
1:00 left work and she was heading back now
1:30 10 mins and shell be home
2:00 15 mins till shes home
2:30 cell phone has been turned off and can't get reply
3:00 still nothing
3:00 shes almost home

so i walk out and wait for the car this time and a black car slowly goes by with my girl in passenger seat two guys in back and one driving, once they spot me waiting they slowly drive by and up the street.
now i'm no fool we been dating for 10 years and i knew her plan well, so i walked opposite way as them and up the side road and waited in the dark by a tree, she comes strolling by and one sniff i could tell she was bombed.
fight fight fight, yell yell yell etc.
Rays attack!:i grabbed her cell and told her to tell me pin to get in and check her messages from people. she refused so naturally i smashed it over the concrete. bye bye phone. through out all the fighting thats when she started crying.

third time:
tonight. again was supposed to be home at 12:30 but wasn't got in a 2;00, guess its better than 3....
any who she said he grandfather was in the hospital and she felt bad she didn't go to a family reunion last Sunday. i remember her saying she didn't want anything to do with it. so instead of coming home she walked around for 2 hours. any Canadians will realize yes it was pouring like hell outside. i just refused to get into it this time no yell yell, no blah blah.

Rays attack: i just finished hijacking her Facebook by changing the email to one i created called "lieinghore@hotmail.com" and switched her password. than deleted all messages to her old email. BTW i have a key logger on my computer so i know all passwords going in and out on the thing. wasn't intended for this purpose but it did the job.
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So can i get some input cause this shit is turning my insane and worse into some half rate control freak which i can't stand most of all.

Why bother with all that? If you know she is lying to you all the time and you don't like it, why bother staying with her for more of the same? Wow, even if I loved her I personally would not stay in that situation, I don't know why she would stay with you if she is lying to you so much and seeing other people, what does she get out of it other than self guilt and feelings of low self worth or power over you?

You need to have it out with her once and for all, if the end result of that is not satisfactory then, if it were me I would walk. But I would have walked after the first 2nd chance was broken anyway. Good luck with that

Finish the relationship immediately.

It just seems to me, that you are being messed about a bit and clearly, the trust has been lost in your relationship.

You don't have a right to demand, seeing your gf's phone messages, but she is definitely messing you around. You can always tell if someone is messing you around, so listen to you instincts.

9-10 years is a long time together, but that mutual respect and trust is gone, from what you said, so both of you move on.

Someone who makes you happy, doesn't need to lie, mess you around etc, but at the same time, when it gets to a point, where a relationship is not happy, you can't comment, communicate without always arguing and you lose trust, then it is a BIG ALARM CALL to MOVE ON.

You are clearly not happy. Your GF sounds as if this is going to continue. The logical answer, is to do something to remove yourself from the unhappiness.

Only you know what you want to do, but you can't keep going insane and being so unhappy forever.

Hope you resolve it, whatever way you feel is best.

I didn't read more than a phrase, but I agree with "immediately" !!!!

Agree with everyone...dont take lies off anyone.

Hi I am sorry to hear about your situation with your gf but I do think you are a tad controlling here! Ok so she is obviously mucking you about, however, you have no right to demand, throw a tantrum, monitor her every move (stalking perhaps?), smash her phone or hijack her fb. I think this is out of control behaviour, not only would it be good for you to be out to this relationship but definitely for her to get out of this relationship. You have both run your course, time to say bye bye!

wtf is rays attack ?
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It's amazing what blindfolds you place on yourself when in love. It's easy as an outsider to say 'get out of the situation'. I would be away, but i'd convince myself that the lies were believable and make up some utterly incomprehensible excuse why the things she said 'could' be true.
I think i'd know though that i was just lying to myself and staving off the inevitable. Think really that you should call it a day, no matter how upset it makes you, staying is only hurting you.

Hi nini63

I completely agree with you on this. The person in question is demonstrating a serious problem of control and obsession which would be enough to frighten any woman off in the first instance. I would recommend that she finds someone else to be quite honest and the person in question to consider examining his life and changing for the better. his behaviour is unacceptable and I have no sympathy what so ever with him.

If anyone has issue with my statement and agreement with nini62 then fair enough but it will just go over me.

I've heard and seen too much of controlling people in this day and age. having been in the situation myself where my girlfriend at the time was violent towards me but also incredibly obsessive and controlling of everything I was doing, including touring, etc. I'm sorry but it's not on. if you want a relationship to work then please be reasonable. don't control that person in any way. after a while the situation will worsen and either of you will go too far.

we don't need blood on the floor and walls thankyou.

Seen this situation before. Here's what to do:

Sit her down, tell her calmly it's over. She will likely cry, throw a fit, try to provoke you - basically create a ton of drama to draw you and make you feel bad about yourself. Realize that this is natural, don't react, and walk away.

Once she knows you have moved on and are seeing other women, she will start pining for you. Remember, I called it first

She doesnt desrve someone who cares about her that much.. and you dont deserve to be put through that :/

Relationship amputation is the only way... I keep saying it... don't I keep saying it?! Watch the following trailer if you choose... then... the choice is absolutely 100% yours! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wmTv2nqTHo

There's one really important point in all this, one which will solve everything and make the world a far, far better place.

That point is...

It's spelt "lyingwhore".

With that one simple fact, you can now feel more confident and not need to use violence against her phone, nor randomly black out and find yourself at Ray's Diner, eating a hotdog. I often get Ray Attacks myself. You can live, son. You can live.

Failing that, I'd take a step back and look at your relationship properly. Look at what was good, what was bad, and whether it's worth fixing. Can it be fixed? If she doesn't want to be with you, she doesn't want to be with you. You can't force that issue. Perhaps to help ends you could let her go free and see what happens. She may come back, she may not. But either way, getting away from all this is, at the moment, the best you can do, if she's not willing to sit down and have an honest and frank discussion.

And doing those kind of things to her, whatever she's done, is not good.

But then again...!

And don't forget the Italian proverb: "Women are more dangerous than shotguns..."

...Especially if you say: "Well actually, your arse does look pretty large in that."