The other way to look at it of course is: If this man can do that to his girlfriend with you then he will almost deffinately do it again and again!!!
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Chances are that this guy doesn't love you OR his girlfriend.

And if he's cheated on his girlfriend, he'll probably cheat on you, too. I know that isn't true with some people, but it's highly likely.

I think you should dump him.

But... do it firmly, gently and honestly. By which I mean you should say whatever you do feel for him and then say that despite that you will not put up with being two-timed.

My stepsister faced exactly this scenario. If I remember correctly, it had gone on like this for two years or so. Finally she got fed up with the pain and ended it honestly but firmly.

Two years later, he showed up at her door (very wet because it was raining hard) and told her that he had finished with the other woman and - if she would let him - would like to take her out.

They are now happily married, have two kids, etc, etc.

The key piece in this was that her approach to ending it was healthy. She didn't plead, beg or - conversely - get angry or criticise him. She simply told him that being two-timed wasn't her thing and she was ending it. If I remember correctly, she listened to his excuses in silence and when he tried to finangle it with promises she said something like: 'I'm sorry - i can't help you. This kind of thing isn't for me.'

Doing that gave nature a chance to take its course without strewing more painful rocks in its way.

By the way, she rules the roost now. When my mum asked him what colour he was going to paint their living room, he said: 'Ask Ali, she'll tell me what colour I want.' I don't think that is a good thing but hey, each to their own.

hey guys, i have something to say on this matter of love affairs and guys being arses. my theory is this.......
you cannot possibly know u love someone in a romantic untill the realtionship has passed 2 yrs. it is around 2yrs that the fermones that atract u and cause infactuation wears off, a little bit of science for ya! also i do agree that if someone has an affair, they may be more inclinded to do it again especially if they have never been caught, often people are attracted to the frill and the danger of it, plus if he did finish with his g.f. you would always be wondering if the same would happen to u. now this men arse thing. men are great as mates, women are great as mate, as soon as u introduce sex they are all arses, when will men and women realise that gay relationships have the same problems as straight ones. its realy not about the sex of the person its the sex! ha ha ha, still not a good enough reason to give it up though ha ha ha!

hey coffee guy, thats a lovely story and i think ur sister dealed the situation perfectly. there is no point digging the knife in as it makes people run away, and quite rightly. things arn't black and white and i also know people who have had happy reltionships come out of such situations. but as u say, as soon as it starts hurting, get out, self presivation id the key. u cant look after or love someone else untill u look after and love ur self. jesus im on one today, i think im gonna go and write a self help book ha ha ha

Yeah we’re really just big, soft, misunderstood creatures lol

Seriously though women and men are not really that different when it comes to relationships, …there are those that will treat you well and put 100% in the relationship and then there are the players who wouldn’t know what commitment was if it fell on them from orbit.

I’ve been cheated on twice in the past and could have easily classed all women as backstabbing, 2 timing bitches, however I know that’s not true and put it down to making a few bad choices and learned from it. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, ..we just have to kiss our share of frogs to find them.

Wow that was serious, ..I need to go and lay down now!

Dump him, if he's really into u, he wouldn't have a girlfriend in the first place!!!!

If he genuinely loved either one of you, he would have chosen between you by now!

It seems i always go against the grain. Ow well. Do you know his girlfriend cus hes been with her a long time and it aint gonna be the easiest thing to drop. He may love you(science aint always right) but he may love her aswell:s.Maybe she treats him bad but he cant bare to hurt her. I didnt leave my ex for sometime cus i couldnt bare to see her hurt but also couldnt bare to be with her. Took me ages to pluck up the courage. Maybe you should be talking to him about this and not us.

Now If Only Me And Holmes Could Get A Date

Start a new job today so time patterns have changed